Lieutenant's Starlogs
by Guylene
Summary: These are Malcolm Reed's starlogs during the Enterprise mission.
1. Chapter 1

**Lieutenant's Starlogs**

Author's note: these are Malcolm Reed's logs during the Enterprise mission. The logs recall Enterprise's episode but obviously the lieutenant just tells his point of view about things, he doesn't retell all the events (you should watch the TV episodes for that! =D )

**Broken bow**

Starlog 1 – 3 April 2151

I took service today. I visited the armory and I'm afraid I already have a huge backlog to catch up. It's inconceivable for such an important starship to have so few and miserable weapons. I've already already asked for some instruments and materials but I suspect that this will take some time. At least my staff is excellent, even if a few crewmen aren't here yet.

I met captain Jonathan Archer, a remarkable man. He asked me many questions about the weapons and security protocols and how I would like to modify them. Then he asked me what I thought about this mission and why I had chosen to apply for this work. He has been really kind but I don't understand why he cares so much about my personal reasons and opinions, it's not like he has to familiarize with me.

And then our chief Engineer, Commander Tucker. He is a nice man and a bloody good engineer, but I fear his easy-going and very informal nature will not help discipline on this starship. I understood that he and Captain Archer are long time friends and Mr Tucker's behaviour towards the Captain is not always professional, but I suppose I haven't been chosen to criticize my superior officers, especially before our departure.

As for the departure itself, I don't know when it will happen. We still lack a medical officer, a science officer and a communication officer (because the designated one is now teaching in a Brazilian university), so we'll have to wait. I haven't informed my family yet, but I feel they would not care that much, anyway. It will be good indeed to put the greatest possible distance between me and them.

-o- -o- -o-

Starlog 2 – 11 April 2151

Because of an emergency, we will leave in three days. Destination: Qo'noS, in the Klingon Empire. We have to take home a Klingon pilot called Klaang whose scoutship crash landed on Earth some time ago. From what I know about the Klingons, I don't know if this is a good idea.

The Vulcans weren't happy at all about our decision. They think we're not ready yet. I believe we should wait hundreds of years to satisfy their expectations…

The captain has recruited the lacking officers as quickly as possible; Ensign Sato, our communication officer, came back from Brazil and we now have a Denobulan medical officer, Dr Phlox, and a Vulcan Science Officer, Subcommander T'Pol, a kind present from the Vulcan ambassador. I also met our helmsman, ensign Travis Mayweather, a sunny guy who was born and grew up on a cargo ship. I have never met before a human who wasn't actually born on our planet; if I'm not mistaken, he has never stepped foot on Earth.

"I heard this platforms have been approved for biotransport" Ensign Mayweather told me while we were waiting for our equipments in fron of the transporter.

"I presume you mean fruits and vegetables" I answered.

"I mean armory officers and helmsmen" he replied with an uneasy smile.

"I don't think I'm quite ready to have my molecules compressed into a data stream" I mumbled suspiciously. I know the transporter is undergoing continuous development and I'm pretty sure that in the future it will be used to transport humans as well but I honestly don't look forward to that. I remember only too well what happened to Emory Eriksson when he tried the transporter on himself. Noticing my uneasiness, Ensign Mayweather reassured me that the Captain would allow not even his dog to be teletransported.

Obviously my plasma coils weren't in the boxes that had just arrived; how can they expect me to set the weapons on time? Am I supposed to defend the ship with bow and arrows like Robin Hood? As I explained to Ensign Mayweather, the Klingons are not to be taken lightly. Irritated, I headed towards Engineering to remind Mr Tucker that I needed my equipment as soon as possible.

We found him completely absorbed by his beloved motors, even polishing them with his sleeve.

"I believe you missed a spot." I told him behind his back. He turned with a smile: I introduced the ensign to him and asked about my equipments. He answered as I had expected: "Your equipment will be here in the morning, Loo-tenant". I sighed and exchanged a meaningful look with Ensign Mayweather.

Later I decided I had to call my parents. When I got them, they were ready to have dinner.

"Hello, Malcolm" my mother said softly. My father didn't say anything.

"Hello. I called to inform you that I have been assigned to starship Enterprise and that we will leave in three days." I stated coldly.

My father merely nodded.

"That's good to hear. And how are you, Malcolm?"

"I'm fine. And I hope you are fine too."

"Yes, dear, we can't complain."

"Then I shall leave you to your dinner."

"Yes. Good luck, Malcolm, and take care."

"I will, mum. Good bye."

That really hit me hard- how they reacted. It's like they didn't even care, or want to know. They haven't even asked how long my assignment will be, what exactly am I doing on the Enterprise, where will we go.

Nothing. And, as always, my mother cares just a bit and my father doesn't care at all.

I also sent a message to my old academy friend Mark Latelle telling him that I'm leaving, but we haven't seen each other in years anyway. And obviously one to my sister. "I'm happy for you. When will you be home again?" she asked me.

"I really don't know, Madeline. Actually we are explorers, so we could stay out in space for years."

"Oh, I hope I will be able to see you again in the next ten years, Malcolm!" she said with a smile "Anyway, good luck and enjoy your travel between the stars!"

Our conversation lasted about three minutes but she's been kinder than my parents anyway.

There's really nobody else I wish to say farewell to. And as for my old fiancees, they probably don't even remember my name.

-O- -O- -O-

Starlog 3 – 17 April 2151

First mission completed, even if I don't know how.

We left to Qo'noS with a nice Klingon fellow lying unconscious in our Sickbay

The staff on the Bridge are nice but a little too noisy in my opinion. Everyone speaks very freely and it seems to me that the officers should just carry on with the orders. Maybe it's because we're setting out and the officers will calm down soon.

My equipment's finally arrived, thank God. We hadn't exactly got what I had planned on having but I think we will make it, more or less.

I wonder if Ensign Sato is up to this mission. She's the most brilliant linguist I've ever seen but she also seems uneasy about being on a starship; some days ago the ship shook a bit when we got to warp 4.4 and she jumped as if she'd just seen a monster. I told her it was because of the deflector's sequencing but she didn't look convinced. I think she joined Starfleet only to get an opportunity to study alien languages.

Anyway Subcommander T'Pol was quite rude to her suggesting her to go to her quarters and try to lie down. Hoshi answered her in Vulcan; I don't know what she said and I honestly don't wish to know. Luckily the captain put an end reassuring her that she will get used to this vibration in some time.

What happened was a perfect demonstration of why I don't approve of the discipline on this starship. First of all, we had lost the Klingon and we couldn't work out how. Then T'Pol confronted the Captain in front of his officers, saying that it would've been better to go back to San Francisco, that our mission was over and a foolish one too and that there was no way of getting back the Klingon. I thought that was enough and apparently the Captain thought the same thing because he ordered her to follow him in the Ready Room and when she went out she headed to engineering without another word. Anyway we finally found out where the Klingon was and we succeeded in taking back him to Qo'noS and I must say that Subcommander T'Pol played a great role in this achievement.

I don't know what to think about her. Her expertise is unquestionable but in the beginning I seriously believed that she was sent by the Vulcans to control us like a mother hen or even to sabotage our mission. I think that many superior officers agreed with me. But on the other hand our mission couldn't have succeeded without her, so I probably judged her too quickly. From what I know, she'll stay with us as our Scientific officer, we will see.

As for the Captain, he's maybe too eager to make decisions – even risky ones- while I would be more cautious. But I suppose he wouldn't be an explorer otherwise. And actually his decision to take Klaang back proved right since the Klingons didn't destroy us.

The most important thing, though, is that Starfleet decided to let us continue our mission. I'm really happy with that. Despite their flaws, I like both the crew and the superior officers and I hope I've finally found an actual home.


	2. Fight or flight

**Fight or flight**

**Starlog 4 – May 6, 2151**

We have been out in space from nearly a month and, until now, nothing interesting has happened. I mean, no first contacts and stuff like that. I can see the Captain is very unhappy with that but I am not: our weapons are so _pitiful_ that, if our first contact were hostile, we wouldn't stand a chance. I've told the Captain that our torpedo targeting system needed an adjustment many times and at last I had the time to make a simulation. It was time, I don't feel safe without adequate weapons.

Travis helped me with the test. He's a really nice guy- very likeable, but he is the eternal optimist, only ever seeing the good side of things. This both makes me envious and worried; this attitude can be good for you because you don't get paranoid as I often do but the risk is that you don't see things as they really are. And eventually you suffer.

Our first test was _awful_. The shot missed the target by three meters. Travis tried to comfort me saying that three meters were not such a big distance, or something like that.

Of course, I didn't agree: -Three meters could mean the difference between hitting a weapons port and a warp core. Instead of disabling a vessel we'd end up destroying it, and probably ourselves in the process.- The well-being of this vessel and of its crew are under my responsibility. Should I put them at risk because the weapons are not ready yet?

I told the Ensign that these problems should've been resolved when we were on Earth; I think it was irresponsible to let us go without the necessary equipment. And I also told him that I'm quite happy with the fact that we hadn't had a first contact yet – barring Hoshi's slug, of course.

"I hope you don't expect everyone we run into out here to be hostile. In twenty three years I don't think my folks ran into a problem more than a half dozen times." Travis answered.

"I don't believe you were ever out quite this far." I pointed out.

"Do you think that makes a difference?" he asked back.

"_Yes, it does_" I thought. When you aren't that far away it's easy to find someone who can help you. Instead we are far from Earth and, should we meet a hostile species, no one would come to rescue us. But I didn't wish to be rude: "All I do know is until we get these targeting scanners working properly, the further we are from everyone else, the better."

Travis muttered that everyone on the ship is craving for a first contact and I think he was referring especially to the Captain – who entered that very moment.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Not well, sir. We've corrected the problem but we're still off by point oh two percent. It's unacceptable." I know that I am _very_ fussy sometimes, but this is my way of working. These are weapons, not peanuts: if they don't work properly we risk to blow up… and it would be my fault.

"Are you sure it's not the simulations that are off?" the Captain asked.

"There's only one way to find out." I retorted.

Thankfully, he called T'Pol and ordered her to drop out of warp and let me have a target session with some asteroids. And then again: the first shot totally missed the target and the second bounced off and almost hit us. The captain was irritated with me; when I said I could have tried to refocus the infrared scanner he agreed but ordered Travis to resume the course.

"We're not going to sit on out butt for twenty four hours. Make your modifications. We'll run another test first chance we get." he told me harshly.

Maybe he doesn't understand that I don't want to screw up the mission, otherwise I would have stayed on Earth, programming new weapons and teaching at Starfleet Academy. I've applied for this mission because I wish to _explore, _but I believe that the crew's safety is more important than exploration right now.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 5 – May 7, 2151**

And then we had what seemed to be our first contact. It was the worst moment that this could possibly come, obviously, when I had just found out that our weapons didn't work at all. The Captain decided to take a shuttle and investigate the vessel while T'Pol and Hoshi didn't agree; actually, I myself didn't agree very much but I believe that questioning the Captain's decisions on the Bridge is not proper, so I stayed silent. I prepared the shuttlepod and then prepared myself as well because the Captain wanted me to be in the away team. I took both the phase pistols and the rifles but the Captain was not happy with that:

"Going to war, Lieutenant?" he asked

"Can't be too careful, sir." I answered.

He harshly pointed out that I had probably seen too many science fiction films and ordered me to leave the rifles behind. I complied even if I didn't approve.

Hoshi is really uneasy about this mission. She obviously wasn't looking forward to investigate the vessel and she asked worriedly if we would have needed the weapons. More than that, when we found the corpses she screamed aloud as if she were in danger. Maybe it would have been better to leave her on the Enterprise, but there was a good chance that we would have needed a translator, so she had to come with us. When we went back she seemed a little ashamed of her reaction; I hope she won't reproach herself too much.

The Captain probably believes me to be a pain in the arse who wants to blow up everything. When we docked with the vessel the hatch was closed and I was not able to open it, so I suggested to put some microcharges on it. The captain pushed me away and pulled the rods that protruded from the hatch until it opened. He turned to me with a mocking smile, saying "sorry", and we followed him inside. I wanted to do my best with him, I wanted to prove to him that I'm the right Security Officer for this mission but apparently I missed both of the targets.

At first the Captain decided to resume our course because clearly the people who had murdered that crew were likely to come back, but then he changed his mind and went back on the alien vessel along with the doctor and left me in the Armory to work on the scanners.

And then, since "you don't expect everyone we run into out here to be hostile" a very hostile alien vessel approached and T'Pol rightly expected me to be able to defend the ship in ten minutes. When I pointed out that it was unlikely, she simply told me to try and do my best. When I got on the bridge they were already charging weapons and then hitting us and I hurriedly tried to accommodate the targeting, but I wasn't able to completely align the scanners. Suddenly the captain was on the bridge and he ordered me to fire them. Obviously the first two shots went completely wrong.

The captain ordered me to distribute the phase pistols but that very moment another ship arrived and I went back to my place. The ship's captain belonged to the same species of the murdered crew and at first he believed us to be the murderers. Thanks to Hoshi he understood that we were not and he fired the vessel which was attacking us. Eventually I managed to align the scanners and I fired the vessel with a torpedo- which thankfully hit the target.

At first I felt relieved but now I am not. It was just a matter of luck: if that ship hadn't arrived, if Hoshi hadn't convinced their captain, we would probably be all dead right now. And one can't expect to always be lucky. At least our weapons are working now and I can do my work at my best but I don't know if it will suffice. I can't understand whether the situation was impossible or it was I who failed. The fact is, until yesterday I was beginning to feel at home on the Enterprise, now I don't know. And the Captain probably thinks I'm a fool.


	3. Strange new world

**Strange, new world**

**Starlog 6 – May 17, 2151**

An alien planet at least! There's absolutely nobody on it, but it doesn't matter. We found it tonight and it was _delightful_ to watch Captain Archer's expression when we informed him. According to T'Pol, we should have watched it from afar before sending an away team, but, even if I usually appear to be hyper-cautious and paranoid, we are here to _explore_!

The Captain, T'Pol and Mr. Tucker all joined the away team and I took command; we monitored them nonstop but nothing strange happened. Exploration as it should be!

Mr. Tucker, Travis, T'Pol and some other crewmen remained on the planet to make further research while the captain went back to the Enterprise; he seemed very pleased with our new findings. And pleased with me too; in the last weeks I've tried my best to make up for the poor performance of our last mission.

Lately I've often had breakfast with Dr Phlox, a really strange man – or, as I should say, a really strange Denobulan. He's always very polite and cheerful but he has a rather incomprehensible sense of humour and a penchant for animals _and_ corpses. He is curious about bodies as I am about weapons, so I can say that I can understand him, but at least my weapons aren't alive. He speaks very freely about matters a human would keep to himself, such as sex or bodily functions, but he probably doesn't realize that this could make some humans uneasy. I suppose it's just the Denobulan way. Anyway, I find him a pleasurable and discreet company and I'm beginning to really like this ship.

**Starlog 7 – May 18, 2151**

Is it so hard to find a _normal_ planet once in a lifetime?

The Captain had just gone to his quarters and I was still in command when we received a call from T'Pol. She informed us that a wind's storm was approaching and she added that it seemed bad too (she obviously didn't use this very words… nothing is "bad" for a Vulcan, I suppose.). I had a shuttlepod prepared to pick them up and then I went to inform the Captain. But he decided to let them stay on the planet because, according to T'Pol, a landing would have been too difficult to manage. In my opinion we should have tried to get them nonetheless; we don't know that much about these aliens storms and it's always risky to have five crewmembers on an alien planet. But since T'Pol usually knows what she says, I supposed she was right and didn't object.

But soon the situation worsened. After some time, Tucker informed us they had lost crewman Novakovich and that probably there was someone else on the planet. I cursed: how was that possible? I've monitored the planet without interruption, searched for biosigns everywhere… how could we have missed them?

"Is the shuttlepod still in stand-by, Malcolm?" the captain asked me.

"Of course, Sir."

"Then meet me in the launch bay in five minutes." he said "We need to get them back."

The shuttlepod was shaking like hell; that storm was really nasty and my stomach was definitely _not_ happy with that. I tried my best to ignore it and go on with my work, it was imperative to get them back as soon as possible, especially if they were not alone. I tried to locate Novakovich and finally found him, but when the Captain tried to call him, Novakovich answered "go to hell".

I grew more worried. On a starship no one answers to the captain in such a way and more than that, according to what I knew about Novakovich, this behavior was totally unlike him; since he's usually a quiet, warm man. I was beginning to fear that something was wrong.

The Captain looked at me, perplexed; he was growing worried too. He tried his best to land on the planet but the wind was just too strong and moreover we were leaking plasma coolant, it would have been impossible for us to land. He decided to wait; I could tell from his expression that he was feeling guilty other than worried. Probably he was reproaching himself for letting them stay for the night. As much as I believe he should be more cautious, I don't believe it was his fault. The planet appeared deserted and harmless and even the most cautious explorer ever would have landed immediately. We had to go back on the Enterprise.

"Clearly, Noakovich is unwell" the Captain told me while we were on our way "It could be necessary to use the transporter." I agreed, it would have been too dangerous to leave him there.

"Yes, sir."

"I'll go to the bridge and try to call him again. Meanwhile you'll try and get a lock on him with the transporter. If he's still unwell, we'll beam him up."

"Understood."

Soon I was able to locate and lock on him but something was wrong, there were contaminants that I wasn't able to eliminate. And when I finally got him, it was clear to me that his conditions weren't good at all. He didn't seem wounded but something was definitely wrong with his mind.

Doctor Phlox found out it was an hallucinogenic compound. Which was good because at least we knew there was actually no one on the planet except from our crewmen. Which was bad because it was apparently affecting them as well. And when I say "apparently affecting" I mean Commander Tucker pointing a phase pistol at T'Pol's head.

I was growing anxious; Novakovich's state was worse than it had seemed and he was between life and death and on the other hand we couldn't get our crewmen back until sunrise. Except from T'Pol, they were becoming increasingly aggressive and paranoid. The Captain had to trick them into meeting T'Pol, who thankfully managed to inject them with the hyposprays Phlox had prepared. Otherwise I fear they would have killed her, and in a violent way too.

When they came back on the ship, it seemed to me that they felt very bad about T'Pol while she, of course, was unperturbed. Probably that's not because they almost killed her – they were under the effect of a hallucinogenic substance – but because they still don't trust her and they feel guilty about that. I must admit that at first I didn't trust her too but now I think I do. I mean, I probably wouldn't like to have a Vulcan captain because his or her decision would probably be incomprehensible for us. But I don't think she wants to sabotage our mission either, I don't think she is going to blab out our secrets to Soval or to the High Command. And I'm not the kind of guy who trusts anyone, on the contrary. Damn, we want to become friends with new aliens and we aren't even able to trust the ones we already know.

The Captain, on the other hand, is quite remarkable. He handled the situation without hesitation. He was able to make our hallucinated crewmen trust him, he was able to trick them without losing his calm. He may be reckless sometimes but he knows how to be a bloody good captain too. I'm glad to serve under his command.

I just hope we won't have such problems with every planet we'll visit. Or it will be really hard for me to keep people alive on this ship…


	4. Unexpected

**A. n. I forgot: I'm Italian so please be patient with my English :D  
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**Unexpected**

Starlog 8 – June 1st, 2151

This starship is so very crumpled! Yesterday all the lights went off on the whole B deck, today there was a gravity outage on E deck – I wonder how this ship can still be in one piece. Commander Tucker assured me that they were working on the problem and that they would've resolved it in a few minutes.

-I hope so, Commander. It's not a good thing to leave a whole deck without gravity.- I answered from the bridge, not able to keep the irritation from my voice. On a starship things should work almost perfectly, we can't keep having a problem every day.

-I know that, Lieutenant. Now if you don't mind I shall go back to the problem, so I'll have it resolved sooner!- his voice sounded irritated as well.

-Of course. Reed out.- I muttered.

That very moment the Captain called me asking what was going on (his quarters are on E deck).

-We are having a little trouble with the gravity plating on E deck. I hope it hasn't caused you any inconvenience- I answered him.

-Oh, no no, not at all- he answered with an almost panting voice. But of course, he was probably floating in his quarters – that thought made me almost laugh.

-Any idea when you might get it back online?- he asked.

-Commander Tucker says it should be any minute now, sir.- and that very moment I could see that the gravity on E deck was back. Suddenly I heard a _really_ loud thud and a splash and the Captain's voice who thanked me from afar. _Great_. Apparently, he had been _showering_.

And after that, there were problems with the temperature regulation on C deck and there was a fire in Engineering too: a really wonderful morning. The captain left me in command and went to Engineering to see what was happening. Eventually, on Mr. Tucker's request, we dropped out of warp to work on the problem and finally found it out: an alien vessel was _stealing_ our plasma exhaust to replenish their coils. And the vessel was invisible too!

Later, on the bridge, I met Mr. Tucker, who shot me an irritated and almost disdainful glare. Inwardly, I sent him to hell. I don't want to be a pest, I just want things to work properly, is that so hard to understand? I know that I'm too damn fussy sometimes, I know that I had probably been too harsh with him, especially considering that it wasn't his fault, but couldn't he at least try to understand the reason why I do so? I care for the ship and for the crew, it's my duty to protect them – and I don't feel quite well unless everything is working as it should. I probably am a dreadful buddy and an ever worse boyfriend, but I know how to do my work, bloody hell! And I don't want to be considered the nasty pain-in-the-ass, the ship's grim-reaper as it always happens.

Going back to the alien vessel, the Captain asked them to move off, which they instantly did. Since they needed help with their engines, the Captain had Mr. Tucker going to the vessel for some days to assist them. He's there now, but it seems that he's having some problems with the vessel's atmosphere. We shall see.

-O- -O- -O-

Starlog 9 – June 5, 2151

I was just telling myself that maybe I was really too harsh with Commander Tucker some days ago, that he had done his best after all. I was telling myself that, if I get too fussy and by-the-book, the people I'm learning to like will get sick and tired of me. So when he came back from the Xyrillian ship (having repaired it perfectly) I felt I owed him something:

-I'm afraid that I was rude to you some days ago, Commander. I apologize.- I told him, stiffening.

-Never mind, Lieutenant. You just want things to be done properly. Care to join me for lunch? I'm really hungry.-

I agreed and followed him. He was really very hungry, one could think he was actually starving. He even started eating without waiting for me.

-Didn't they feed you over there?- I asked, concerned. He was really eating a lot.

-You should've come with me, Malcolm.- he answered.

Then he told me about the Xyrillians, their holographic recreations, their ship. He was really nice and I regretted being so rude to him. Finally he left because he had a strange red mark on his wrist and I advised him to consult Dr Phlox about it. It must've been an allergic reaction he got with something on the Xyrillian vessel, I don't know. The fact is, half an hour later the Captain asked me and T'Pol to find the Xyrillians' location and get back to them, I don't know why. Probably the captain wanted to know what the hell had caused Commander Tucker such a nasty disease. Last time I saw him, some hours ago he had a very bad nausea and he even had to vomit. I hope he is better now.

We are still searching for them.

-o- -o- -o-

Starlog 10 – June 9, 2151

Still no Xyrillians in sight. Commander Tucker's condition hasn't improved much – he still has violent nausea and two red marks on his wrist- but he's not in sickbay, so his illness is probably not very serious.

I've had lunch with Ensign Sato lately. She's finally getting used to this ship even if she's still very anxious about this mission.

-Sometimes… I'm claustrophobic- she told me with a small smile.

I looked at her, bewildered: -And why did you choose to work on a starship?- I asked.

-Oh, no, I'm not _that_ claustrophobic. I just don't like the turbolift and the environmental suits, that's all. But I'm fine with the starship.- she answered.

I silently appreciated her courage. Unless me, she's been able to confront her phobia and even to confess it to someone else. Even if, on a starship, her phobia is much more meaningful than mine.

-As for your question- she went on –it was mostly because of the languages. If this wasn't an exploration mission, I wouldn't have applied. I wanted so badly to make a good impression on Captain Archer…- she laughed briefly –When we first met I felt really sick, but I tried to do my best. And I succeeded.- she concluded with a smug smile.

So I was right, it was mostly because of the languages. But I was wrong about her not being ready for this mission, clearly she is. Probably more than me as well.

Now I must go back to search for that damn ship.

-O- -O- -O-

Starlog 11 – June 13, 2151

Mission completed, thank God. Yesterday we finally found the Xyrillian ship; too bad that it was hiding in a Klingon battle cruiser's plasma wake.

Clearly, to get the Xyrillians we had to speak with the Klingons first but they didn't feel like speaking. As a greeting they shot us with a torpedo that almost destroyed us – this must be their way to say "hello", since T'Pol says they could have easily destroyed our ship if they wanted to. The Captain tried to talk with them but they wouldn't listen and they even threatened to fire us again, until T'Pol eventually managed to convince them.

And then I finally found out what had happened to Commander Tucker on the Xyrillian ship and why we were searching for them: he was _pregnant_. If we weren't in such a bad situation, I would've laughed; now I understood his nausea and the red marks on his wrist, they were actually nipples! The captain had him showing his abdomen to the Klingons, who found it _very entertaining_ and allowed Commander Tucker on the Xyrillian ship. In some way, he was able to give the baby back to its mother.

From what we understood, he hadn't actually mated with one of the Xyrillians, he was impregnated telepathically, or something like that. Actually, as much as I often find him irritating, I don't think Commander Tucker would jeopardize his carrier just for _sex_. At least it's been really funny – for us, I mean. And I didn't have to fire anyone.

Now we are on the road again.


	5. Terra Nova

**Happy new year!  
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**Terra Nova**

Starlog 12 – June 20, 2151

It seems we'll do a little mystery solving soon. We're approaching Terra Nova, the first extra-solar human colony, and the Captain wants to find out what happened to the colonists: we lost contact with them almost seventy-five years ago. I must admit I'm both curious and slightly scared about that: they could have willingly suspended their communications but it seems an unlikely explanation. From what I've seen during these ten weeks of navigation, I think they've probably been killed by some alien or by some kind of neurotoxin. And even if they're still alive, I'm not sure they'll be happy with our presence. But maybe I'm just being my usual pessimistic self. We'll probably get there tomorrow and the Captain told me he wants me in the away team.

Travis is really excited about Terra Nova; he obviously hopes to find someone _alive_ there. Today we were talking about the colony during lunch when Commander Tucker joined us:

-You really have a thing about Terra Nova, Travis! You can't stop talkin' about it!- he drawled with a smile.

-I'm sorry, but I grew up with tales about Terra Nova. For those who don't live on Earth that colony still means a lot.- Travis answered.

-My father wanted me to see it one day or another. I've promised him I would- Travis went on –and I will.-

-My grandfather's told me a billion times that he saw their transmissions when he was a child. He felt it was… almost magical.- Mr. Tucker remembered.

As for him, I don't know. He asked me to call him Trip, as Ensign Sato and Travis already do, but I honestly don't feel like it. It's not that I hate him: he often irritates me but he's a fine man. It's just that I would prefer to keep a professional distance, he's a superior officer after all. Anyway, he didn't insist about that, so apparently he hasn't taken offense.

-And what about you, Malcolm? Didn't your grandfather tell you about Terra Nova?- he asked cheerfully.

-Actually, no. My grandfather was a Royal Navy officer.- I answered cautiously. I don't like to speak about my family.

-Ah, then he's probably told you about the Battle of Trafalgar!- he replied with a laugh.

-Well, he was not _that_ old. But actually… yes.- I said, smiling.

He didn't ask other questions about my family and I appreciated that: I keep liking this ship.

As for the Armory, Ensign Balosz is now my second-in-command. After more than two months I can say she's an intelligent and competent officer and I think I won't regret my choice.

Starlog 13 – June 24, 2151

Here we are. Every time I relax a bit I almost get myself _killed_.

Obviously the colony was deserted. Houses, personal items, a bicycle that made me really sad, I don't know why, but nobody was in sight. The captain sent us to search for biosigns and soon my scanner beeped; looking around, I saw something I could not identify running in the forest. I ran after him as faster as I could and noticed that he was a definitely humanoid being, but in the end he disappeared. Nonetheless, I found a small opening that apparently lead to a cave or something like that. The captain and I went inside, only to find an ever smaller opening which lead to another cave. I crawled into it, followed by the captain.

If I hadn't stopped him, he would've crawled _first_ into the cave. The man is really reckless; why the hell does he want a security officer if he's always the one who takes the risk?

Once inside we found many items such as pots, knives, dead animals and so on. Clearly someone had been there recently. With the plasma torch, I explored every inch of the cave until I found someone watching me from above. He had a small, white face and at first I thought it was some sort of monkey, but then I noticed they were dressed. It seemed to me that something was wrong and it was just a moment before they attacked us.

We tried to escape; the captain succeeded while I was shot and then attacked by a Novan, who eventually dragged me away. My leg was hurting like _hell_ and bleeding too. He carried me across many and many caves and corridors until we reached the other Novans. My kind host hadn't spoken a word and I was too much in pain to speak. They made me sit and only stared at me: no words, no violence, nothing.

They looked awful. I couldn't understand if it was just their species or if they were actually disfigured.

Finally, I asked: -Who are you?-

-We are Novans. Can't you see that?- one of them answered. I was very surprised: before our colony the planet was deserted… and more than that, they were speaking English and using the planet's human name. So, who the hell were they?

-Well, I'm…-

-Human. We can see that as well.-

-How comes that you know the Humans?- I asked.

-Because you destroyed us!- another Novan shouted.

-What? And when, please?-

-You know that by yourself!- a third Novan exclaimed, and they went silent again.

Time passed, my leg hurt and I found out my communicator didn't work. Probably I had broken it upon falling. I didn't know where my fellow officers were and I was beginning to worry: had they been kidnapped as well?

Eventually they went back – the captain and doctor Phlox. I was immensely relieved to see them and the pain-killer the doctor gave me made quite an effect. Meanwhile, the Captain was trying to talk with the Novans, to understand who they were. According to them, they had lived on the surface until Humans had poisoned their rain and forced them to take refuge in the caves. But that _couldn't _be.

And then I found out they were actually human, our colonists' descendants. The captain explained that they had probably been exposed to some kind of radiation and that for this reason they weren't healthy. I could see malformations, spots and what seemed like tumors all over their bodies. The captain offered them to come on the Enterprise and have a medical check; they refused at first, but eventually the captain and Dr Phlox convinced them and they accepted – on condition that I stayed in the cave until they were back.

The captain protested but I accepted: it wasn't their fault after all and they needed medical therapy more than I did.

While they were away I made some attempts at conversation but they failed miserably. They fed me – that meat was really awful and uncooked as well but it doesn't matter, it didn't kill me. I tried to be polite but I feel my attempts weren't appreciated.

Hours passed and my leg was beginning to hurt again. Nothing unsustainable, but I was happy when the captain and Travis finally picked me up and I went back to the Enterprise.

-Could you please bring me up to date about the Novans? What happened?- I asked Travis in the shuttlepod.

-Many years ago an asteroid hit the planet. The colonists didn't recognize it – they thought Earth was going to take back the colony. After the impact they were killed by the radiations except from the children… the Novans are the descendants of those children.-

-OK. But why are they leaving the caves now?- I asked.

-Because Phlox found out their water's been contaminated by radiations too. That's why they're all so ill. We found a place in the southern hemisphere… where they will be all right.- he explained.

Of course it wasn't possible to bring them back to Earth, they wouldn't feel at ease among us. As usual, the captain was outstanding; he managed to gain their trust and he handled the situation pretty well without destroying their own culture.

I lingered over the fact that it's actually easy for us to regress both in technology and in mentality. It just took seventy years to transform a group of well-learned people into almost prehistoric men, who ignore both science and medicine and who hate the outworlders. They're not stupid, on the contrary, but they'll probably need another five hundred years to reach their grandparents' level. Maybe the Vulcans were right, until a few years ago we weren't ready to leave our planet.


	6. The Andorian Incident

**A.N. Next chapter coming in four days**

**And thanks to Hummingbird2 for the kind reviews!**

**The Andorian incident**

Starlog 13 – July 2nd, 2151

The last two weeks have been really quiet. No nasty aliens around, no Klingon birds of prey and stuff like that. So we had plenty of time to make scientific research and we dealt with nebulae, asteroids and most of all a protostar which wasn't mentioned in the Vulcan star charts, so we actually discovered it; T'Pol was almost _pissed_ about that!

I finally have time to read! Our first weeks were so full of work to do that _"For whom the bell tolls"_ has stationed on my bedside table for almost three months, I finished it two days ago. I like Hemingway, his writing style, his dialogues, but psychologically he doesn't get me at all. He doesn't know what it means to be insecure, to search for one's identity… as for that, I fancy Joyce a whole lot more.

Our free time allowed me to get some other works done in the Armory and my staff proved again to be a competent and reliable one. Ensign Youssou and crewman Browning have a great experience with torpedoes, I should remember that.

We've just changed course because there's a Vulcan outpost the Captain wishes to visit. From what Travis told me, it's one of the most important Vulcan spiritual retreats and it's called P'Jem. I think the captain wishes to go there because he wants T'Pol to feel accepted and _rewarded_ as a Vulcan, after the somewhat ill treatment she received from some of us in the last months.

We'll probably get there tomorrow: since the Captain, T'Pol and Commander Tucker will all land, it seems I'll be in charge.

Starlog 14, July 4th , 2151

And then they say I'm paranoid…

If the intention was to make T'Pol feel accepted on this ship… well, I'm afraid it didn't work at all.

Yesterday we reached P'Jem and the captain left me in charge of the ship. As they went down, I began to feel a bit nervous; I was not panicking, but neither the Captain nor Commander Tucker are known for their prudence, and I was hoping that nothing bad would happen. The fact that T'Pol was with them kind of comforted me.

Less than a hour after their departure, our sensors revealed an alien vessel – not Vulcan though – very _next_ to our shuttlepod. I wondered why the shuttle's sensors hadn't picked it up as well.

-They went to visit some monks. Why would they scan for alien ships?- Travis replied to my questions.

I don't care where we are going, I don't _care_ who we are visiting. Some things **must** be **always** done. -It should be standard procedure, that's why. In any event, there it is.-

Travis and Hoshi exchanged a look: they probably thought I was getting paranoid.

-Well, I for one would like to know who these visitors are. And why haven't we heard from the landing party?- I asked.

-You can't expect them to check in every ten minutes.- Hoshi answered, almost bewildered.

-Maybe that should be standard procedure as well.- I snapped. It's not that I want to complicate everyone's life. It's just that, should something wrong happen to the crew or the officers while I'm in charge, I would feel responsible _forever_, even if it wasn't my fault.

-You sure you're not over-reacting? They're probably just taking a tour, observing some kind of meditation ritual.- Hoshi told me softly, with a reassuring voice.

-I think I'm not, Ensign. Please contact the Captain.- Perhaps I would've annoyed him, perhaps he would've found me fussy, but it's better to be annoyed than dead.

-Yes, sir- she answered.

Soon a voice answered to our call, but it wasn't the Captain's: -Enterprise-

Hoshi looked at me, surprised, and I answered: -Yes. I'm looking for Captain Archer.-

-He's a prisoner of the Andorian Imperial Guard. We know you're in collaboration with the Vulcans.- the same voice replied angrily. Andorian imperial guard? Vulcans? I put those questions aside, the most important thing was checking the captain and the other officers.

-Let me talk to the Captain.- I snapped.

-Your ship is under constant surveillance. Arm your weapons or make any attempt to approach the surface and I'll kill the hostages.- and then the communications went off. –Try T'Pol or Commander Tucker- I ordered to Ensign Sato, feeling a shiver along my spine. As I feared, there was no response.

This was the first time I had to face an emergency while in charge. I had to make a decision. _Quickly_.

-Have the launch bay put shuttlepod two on standby.- I told Travis. I would have tried to contact my commanding officers again and then, if they hadn't answered, I would've come down.

-You heard what he said. If we try to send more people…- he answered, doubtful.

As much as I shared his worries, I had to handle the situation without hesitation, the ship relied on _me_: -I don't take orders from a comm. voice, Ensign. Not unless that voice belongs to the Captain.- Then I had Hoshi search in the Vulcan database for some information about the Andorrans.

We tried again and again but nothing. I imagined the worse things, reproaching myself because I hadn't told them to report from the shuttlepod. When I was about to go down, thankfully, we received a very week transmission from Commander Tucker.

-This is Enterprise. We can barely read you, Commander.- I answered, relieved to hear his voice at least. He explained me that the whole sanctuary had been taken over by these Andorians, who thought there was a spy station. He also sent me a message from the Captain: -He doesn't want to provoke them any more than we already have. He also said to tell you we're working on a way out of here.- It seemed that the Andorians didn't feel like negotiating, they had punched the captain too. The situation was still difficult but at least I knew they were all alive and well.

I supposed now the only way to get down was the teletransport. As much as I definitely don't like to have my molecules scrambled everywhere, it seemed inevitable. I told crewmen Andrade and Kelly to be ready come with me any moment and waited for other transmissions.

Thankfully Commander Tucker called back very soon.

-We've managed a way to escape but we need assistance. Some of you should get here.-

-That's not a problem, commander, but we have to use the teletransport. They're monitoring us.- I answered.

-Understood. I'll send you the coordinates of this place so you'll figure out a map. Next to the room where most of the Andorians are staying there is a narrow hidden corridor, but you wouldn't be able to reach them from there.- He spoke very quickly and even if he was doing his best to suppress the drawl, it was really hard to understand everything he said.

-We could put some microcharges…- I proposed.

-That could do, but please don't kill yourself or them. And the captain says to tell you _"phase pistols set on stun"._- he answered.

-Understood, sir. We'll be there as soon as possible.-

I summoned Andrade and Kelly and went to the transportation room. Neither Hoshi nor crewman Andrade were very happy with the teletransport but it was the only possible choice, so be it.

-It's a console, Ensign. It won't bite.- I told Hoshi, sensing her nervousness.

-Crewman?- I prompted Andrade, who wasn't on the platform yet.

-We've heard stories, sir. It might not be safe.- I was nervous too, but our first duty was to our captain and officers, so I tried to suppress my fear.

-I've heard the same stories. Now get up here.- I told him sternly, and he obeyed.

Hoshi energized and for a moment I felt my body literally _disappear _and then reassemble; it was not nice at all. When we set foot on the ground again I felt somewhat dizzy and my legs were slightly shaking but we were in one piece at least.

We headed to the narrow corridor Mr. Tucker had suggested us to take and soon we could see the Andorians. They had already detected our energy but they couldn't figure out what the source was. We quickly put the microcharges and made them blow, then we attacked.

I was able to stun one of them but other two managed to escape and moreover crewman Kelly was shot. Luckily there was no serious damage, so we dragged him away and we went on to the Atrium, where we found the Captain, T'Pol and Commander Tucker. They were bruised but alive and apparently well. Only then I noticed a group of Vulcan monks standing still, apparently not pleased at all with our display of force; I don't _like_ to shoot someone in a sanctuary, actually, but it didn't seem to me that there was an alternative.

We went into the catacombs to chase the missing Andorians, a Vulcan monk following us with an Andorian pistol in his hands. He protested because – he said – we were getting in the sanctuary's reliquary, where only the priests were allowed to go. But the captain ignored him and we went on.

The andorians were in the reliquary and they obviously greeted us _shooting_. During our fight a tapestry half fell from the wall and I could see a metallic vault, much more recent than the walls themselves and that apparently had no reason to be there. Immediately, I felt something was missing and I drew the captain's attention on it. We soon found out it was the spy station whose presence the Andorians suspected. And it was a really advanced spy station too! The monk following us wasn't too happy with our new finding and he threatened to kill the captain; luckily he wasn't that _much_ of a warrior and the captain easily punched him.

-Violence in a sanctuary, captain?- I asked, hoping this story was at an end.

-Very disrespectful. Boy did it feel good!- he answered.

Then he had T'Pol give her scans to the Andorian captain and order Enterprise to allow the Andorian ship to leave the orbit.

Back on the Enterprise I went to talk to the captain:

-What can I do for you, Malcolm?- he asked.

-Sir, regarding today's events… I would advise to follow the standard procedures a little more. The away team should report to the ship.- I tried my best to cancel the harshness from my voice.

-We'll keep that in mind for the future, Malcolm. We simply didn't expect anything dangerous to happen. Anyway, thank you for the suggestion.- he told me with a smile.

I'm really glad he is back. Being in charge on such a day I understood how it feels to be the captain and it's not easy at all. I wonder how he manages to be so easy-going and relaxed with such a burden, with such responsibilities. Reckless as he may be, he's really a remarkable man.


	7. Breaking the ice

**As promised… next chapter tomorrow probably =D **

**Starlog 15, July 18, 2151**

_Lovely_ Vulcans. By all means, I didn't think that one day I could've said such a thing.

This morning I was in the Armory when I heard the captain's voice in the comm: "For those of you who aren't near a window, you might want to find one. There's something pretty amazing off starboard." There was a comet, an incredibly big and beautiful comet… and the Vulcan star charts didn't mention it! T'Pol also found out that the comet contained a rare mineral and so the captain had me and Travis land on the comet to take a sample.

Soon after we noticed a Vulcan ship approaching. I still don't know why it was there; they did absolutely nothing, other than observing our work and _saving_ us. But later Hoshi told me that the Vulcan captain had dinner with our captain on the Enterprise, so I suppose they had political matters to discuss. Probably they're angry with us about what happened at P'Jem, and probably the discussion or whatever it was didn't work, because later crewman Quinn told me that the Vulcan captain was almost angry when he left.

-I've never stood on a comet before.- I told Travis in the shuttlepod.  
>-Has anyone?- he asked back.<br>-Good question. – I replied. Later we found out that we were actually the first Humans to set foot on a comet.  
>-I've only seen snow twice in my life.- Travis said, and I smiled. Snow was quite common in the North Yorkshire where I grew up.<br>-Well, then it's only fitting that we commemorate the occasion.-  
>-You mean plant a flag?-<br>-No, too predictable.- I snorted.  
>-Snowball fight!- he proposed. Travis' enthusiasm and constant awe towards new things were quite delightful and I had to smile again.<br>-The EV suits would take all the fun out of that.- I explained - We'll just have to see how the spirit moves us when we get there.-

When we landed, we quickly analyzed the ice and then prepared to set the charges; we had to drill the comet with our rig to take the mineral sample.

There was snow everywhere and Travis, playful as he always is, built a snowman. I burst out laughing and drew the eyes and a smile on the puppet's face with the plasma torch. I know it was _childish_, but what the hell! We always end up fighting with some alien, for once everything was well and we deserved a little relax. And moreover, this was the first comet we set foot on, we had to leave a trace of our _culture_!

Soon the captain called us and asked how was our work going. His voice was slightly annoyed and he reminded me that the Vulcans were observing us and that we had to make a good impression. I felt a bit ashamed, but just a bit, because I knew that in our place the captain would've done the same, if not worse.

-So tell me, who is the sculptor?- he asked me in the end.

-It won't be there for long, sir- I answered, a bit embarrassed.

We set the charges but then I couldn't help myself and I added two really huge pointy ears to the snowman; sadly, with the explosion our precious work would have disappeared. Travis laughed out loud, complimenting me., then we took refuge behind a pinnacle, waiting for the explosion.

I'd hoped I could do better; it wasn't very symmetrical but it was huge and deep enough for our necessities. We began drilling but soon we heard a loud thud and found out that a drill bit was cracked.

Travis scanned the crater while I replaced the drill bit.

-Magnesite- he said after a while –we hit a layer of it.-

We had just resumed our work when the captain told us that the comet's rotational axis had shifted after the explosion. Apparently we would've faced the star in about two hours, so we had to speed up; I didn't worry too much about that because the bigger part of the work was already done.

In less than two hours we were finished; we were about to leave when Travis slipped and fell in the crater. I had to help him up because his knee was hurt, but when we were already in the shuttlepod when the icy surface cracked and we fell.

At first the Enterprise tried to pull us out with the grapplers but it didn't work and we precipitated for another ten meters or so. I was slightly nervous: I feared that we would've precipitated again and I was fairly sure that the surface was going to recrystallize very soon, and in that case it would've been a lot more difficult to take us out.

Then someone hailed us. At first I thought it was the Enterprise, instead that was the Vulcan ship, the Ti'Mur. They took us out with the beaming ray and then we went back to the Enterprise without problems.

Travis, who was not used to snow and ice, was shivering: -I don't want to see the snow anymore.- he told me.

-Snow is not always like that.- I answered.

-I hope the Vulcans haven't noticed our puppet's ears!- he muttered with a soft laugh.

In all honesty I don't like Vulcans very much because they're always willing to lecture us and show their intellectual superiority to us, but recently I've asked myself if we are right about them. Of course that spy station on P'Jem did nothing to heighten our trust towards them, but I feel T'Pol is not like _that_. She is _very_ Vulcan, yet I believe she would never do any harm to us and our mission.

I was heading to my quarters when I stumbled upon Commander Tucker.

-Congratulations!- he told me with a broad smile.

-What for?- I asked, surprised.

-The snowman, and especially the snowman's _ears_. They were great!- he explained enthusiastically.

-Too bad that he's been destroyed.- I answered with a laugh.

-Oh, but I took a picture! I'll send it to you…- he sounded almost delighted.

I burst out laughing. That photograph will be my _trophy_.


	8. Civilization

**Starlog 16, July 31, 2151**

It seems to me that we got ourselves into another trouble.

Yesterday morning we discovered a Minshara class planet with almost half a billion inhabitants; since the captain wasn't on duty yet and since he's _very_ willing to discover new planets, we agreed to tell him about it only at the end of our morning briefing. So we first informed him that we've found a supernova and a cluster of neutron stars, without mentioning the planet. He was clearly disappointed but he tried his best to hide it. Eventually Commander Tucker told him: -There is one other thing that might be worth swinging by to take a look. A Minshara class planet about four and a half light years away.-  
>-Any life signs?- the captain asked, suddenly excited.<p>

-Only about five hundred million. If our scans are right, it looks like there's a whole civilization down there.- answered Mr. Tucker.

The expression on the captain's face was so delighted that we all had to laugh (apart from T'Pol of course); the captain finding a new planet is, with all due respect, like a child playing with a new toy.

Apart from the planet's class and number of inhabitants, we knew nothing about the planet; we later found out that it hosts a preindustrial civilization called Akaali. At first the captain obviously decided to land while T'Pol obviously advised against it, saying that they would've immediately be recognized as outsiders. At first I honestly didn't know what to say; we are here to explore, thus landing would've been the most logical thing, but the captain is not cautious at all and so he sometimes gets into trouble. Anyway, he eventually decided to land along with Hoshi.

They were about to leave when T'Pol detected something very strange; some emissions, probably coming from an antimatter reactor. I suspected that we weren't the first visitors, because it was impossible for the Akaali to have such a technology. I would like to know what's wrong with us: why do we always manage to find trouble? The thought of the Captain and Hoshi going down there hardly reassured me, but at least he decided to take with him T'Pol and Commander Tucker as well. I was left in charge.

About an hour later the Captain called us:

-We've found the source of those emissions. It's in the building we're now in. But it's protected by a sort of magnetic or energy barrier and we can't approach. Analyze the building and tell me if it's possible to break the barrier.- he told me.

I complied, but the barrier was far too powerful: -Even if we flatten the building with a torpedo barrage, it probably wouldn't make a dent in that energy field.-

I also found out that the scanners couldn't pick up anything from under the building. According to Commander Tucker it probably has a dampening field or something like that. He told me to monitor the building with the sensors but I haven't found nothing strange so far.

When she came back from the planet, T'Pol also told me that the Akaali who live nearby the shop are getting ill and she collected samples of water and other materials to investigate. Later Phlox found out that the water actually contains tetracyanate 622, a toxic compound. The captain also managed to gain help from a local apothecary. I fear that the situation could turn dangerous soon, but honestly the captain could do nothing but investigate; it's clear that someone here is taking advantage of the Akaali.

It's about seven o'clock in the morning, tonight I've slept less than two hours and I'm _dead tired_… and it isn't over yet.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 17, August 1****st****, 2151**

Problem solved, thankfully!

Yesterday morning we received a call from the Captain; he told us that probably the antimatter reactor was used to gather a veridium isotope. So we knew that they were building some kind of weapon and that the tetracyanate 622 was a waste of the building process. Obviously we couldn't fire the reactor because the city would've blown up but he was trying his best to let the dampening field down.

After some time an alien vessel approached: it seemed to me that something was missing… _Obviously_, they had plenty of weapons and were preparing to fire us. A moment later an alien hailed us from the surface, advising us to leave the system.

-I want to speak with Captain Archer.- T'Pol answered.

-That won't be possible. He's dead.- the alien replied. I froze, feeling my heart jumping in my throat, and that very moment the alien vessel fired us. The shot was really _bad_.

-My vessel is capable of firing ten of those charges simultaneously. Again, I suggest you break orbit.- the alien went on.

-They're recharging weapons.- I said.

T'Pol ordered Travis to prepare to leave orbit.

-Belay that! Keep this ship right where it is!- Commander Tucker exclaimed, standing. I could hardly blame him. It was just unconceivable to leave the captain there, even if he was dead. He had died selflessly, helping a people he didn't even know, and my heart was aching. And Commander Tucker, being his friend, couldn't even think to leave him down there. I only hoped that the alien was lying to us.

-I don't have to reiterate that I outrank you, Mister Tucker.- she answered coldly.

Mr. Tucker wasn't impressed at all. He called Engineering and told his people to stand by to vent the nacelles. I looked at him, bewildered: that was almost a mutiny.

- We're not going anywhere.- he told T'Pol.  
>-I didn't say leave orbit, I said prepare to leave orbit. I have no intention of abandoning the Captain, dead or alive.- she explained. But couldn't she say that <em>before<em>? Anyway, Mr. Tucker didn't reply and he also seemed slightly embarrassed by his outburst.

T'Pol is better than she appears to be but she should understand that this ship is full of Humans who don't always understand what are her intentions. Maybe it's our fault too; she is with us from three months now and she managed to become indispensable but sometimes we still don't trust her.

A moment later someone let the dampening field down and we tried to get there, while the alien vessel continued to fire us; obviously they had some kind of shield and I couldn't fire back. And then, thankfully, the captain hailed us; I was so very relieved to hear his voice.

Mr. Tucker locked the reactor with the transporter and T'Pol had the idea to fire the alien vessel with it: the outcome was really _satisfying_. Their shield went immediately down and their weapons array followed soon. And, most important thing of all, we got the captain back.

The man is so completely lucky; he always finds trouble but he always manages a way out and this will never cease to amaze me. However, I believe he should be accompanied by one or two of my men when I'm not available; of course he's able to take care of himself but maybe we could avoid some trouble. When I told him this afternoon, he answered that this would just endanger more people. Maybe he doesn't get that we are here to provide for _his_ security, not the other way around.

Commander Tucker cares a lot about the captain, so much that he would even jeopardize his career for him. I think he shouldn't have threatened T'Pol's authority on the bridge, but such a loyalty both to a friend and to the captain is honorable.

I keep asking myself when and if we will find some normal and peaceful aliens to get acquainted with. Our weapons are too miserable for space, I knew that.


	9. Fortunate son

**Fortunate son**

**Starlog 18, August 9, 2151 **

It's been a long day. This morning I was ordered to report to the bridge at 5.00 because Starfleet received a distress call from the ECS Fortunate, a cargo ship. We don't know why and we aren't able to contact them anymore. We are very near to their position and so we have to get them and find out what happened. Travis, who grew up on a cargo ship, says that perhaps they've been attacked by the pirates; since cargo ships usually have miserable weapons, I hope not. We will probably reach them tomorrow in the afternoon.

-My family has been on the Horizon for three generations now- Travis told me and Commander Tucker during lunch –My father wasn't very happy when I decided to join Starfleet but eventually he understood.- he added with a smile.

My father wasn't happy at all and he didn't understand, he didn't even try to understand. He still thinks that I'm a coward. I tried to overcome my phobia and I didn't succeed; I'm not certainly proud about that, but this doesn't mean that I'm despicable.

Probably my thoughts reflected on my face, because Commander Tucker asked me: -Are you all right, Malcolm?-

-I just hope they're well.- I answered. Commander Tucker and Travis are fine gentlemen but they're not friends yet, and moreover I don't wish to speak about myself and about my family. It makes me feel vulnerable, almost naked.

I found out that Commander Tucker is an actual expert about cinema: he's also organized a "movie night" on the ship. The first movie, "_Doctor Strangelove"_, will be projected in half an hour and since I'm off duty I'll be there as well. (How I learnt not to be afraid and to love the bomb: that suits me!)

Addition: I shouldn't read Kafka's _"The Castle"_ before going to bed. It gets me nervous.

**Starlog 19, August 10, 2151 **

We found the ship and they're all alive, thankfully. Their captain is in a coma, but Dr. Phlox says he'll be fine in a couple of days. As Travis had suspected, they've been attacked by Nausicaan pirates but they were able to defend themselves. But this afternoon, when we got on the Fortunate, I had the strong impression that they weren't happy at all with our presence: the captain had to persuade them to accept our help.

-They seem… diffident to me. Why is that?- I asked Travis at dinner.

-You know, the crew of a cargo ship is something like a family, they live together for dozen of years… and when someone else enters your ship you feel as if a stranger was entering your own house.-

This made sense, but when the electrician comes to your house to repair the lightings you don't push him away

-And moreover- Travis went on –they use to be independent and like to deal with their own problems.-

-But we just want to help- I replied –We certainly don't wish to intrude.-

-I think they will understand it. Tomorrow Ryan, their first officer, will come to visit the ship. I'll show him around.- he told me with a smile.

I'm not entirely convinced by Travis' explanation, I feel as if they were trying to hide something. But probably I'm just being my paranoid self.

Commander Tucker says that the repairs won't take too long: we'll soon leave them in peace.

**Starlog 20, August 13, 2151**

_Bloody idiots. _They were hiding a Nausicaan on their ship!

Yesterday morning the repairs had just been completed and I was on the bridge when the Captain called me: -Lieutenant Reed, please report to the launch bay immediately.-

Frowning, I got there, where the Captain, T'Pol, Phlox and a very disappointed Ryan were waiting for me.

-We are going on the Fortunate, Malcolm. It seems that Mr. Ryan's been hiding a Nausicaan prisoner on his ship all the time. I requested to see him.- I couldn't help but shooting a deadly glare to Ryan: how can you come up with such a stupid idea? I can understand their anger for being attacked, but taking a prisoner isn't going to change anything! The Nausicaans, from what I know about them, would've been able to destroy the Fortunate without effort. And this _stupid_ man jeopardized his ship and crew, including the children, just because he didn't want to ask for help.

Ryan guided us to a cargo compartment. –He's tied up over there- he explained.

-I'm reading one biosign, but it's not Nausicaan- said T'Pol, and I understood that we had fell into a trap. Actually, a moment later Mr. Shaw emerged from behind a corner with a rifle and Ryan took a phase pistol; I tried to shoot him but I missed him. Thankfully in that compartment there were a lot of boxes and we took refuge behind them. From that position, though, we weren't able to shoot them, so we tried to get closer to them. But as we were approaching Ryan, he fired at a bulkhead and then ran away. Now there was a breach on the bulkhead and soon we would've started to decompress.

I felt a strange noise and a floating sensation: -What was that?- I asked. Soon I understood what that was: they had released the compartment.

Soon, Commander Tucker hailed us: -Are you all right?-  
>-We're fine. I don't want the Fortunate leaving.- the captain answered.<p>

Mr. Tucker tried to hail them but that bloody idiot charged weapons in response and fired the Enterprise; needless to say that the damage was minimal. Our ship was about to fire back when Ryan went to warp.

Before starting to chase them, Mr. Tucker had to send a shuttlepod to retrieve us because the compartment was depressuring too quickly.

Did they really think that we would've let them be? Or that we wouldn't have caught them eventually? The plan was clear enough; they were keeping the prisoner to blackmail the Nausicaans or to gain some useful information about them, and now they wanted to settle the matter.

Back on the Enterprise, I found out that their weapons had damaged our long range sensors, so it wasn't easy at all to track their warp trail.

-How long till they're back online?- asked the Captain.

-Mr. Tucker says at least four hours.- answered T'Pol. Eventually Commander Tucker took less than four hours while any other engineer would've taken twice as long and done a worse job too.  
>-We don't know where they are, but we know who they're looking for. The Nausicaans. Ryan's after revenge, sir.- Travis suggested to the Captain.<br>-A very primitive emotion, but it would explain his irrational behaviour.- T'Pol observed with a shrug.  
>-It's rational to him. Those pirates attacked his ship. That's his family. If we want to find the Fortunate, we need to find the Nausicaans.- Travis seemed to be taking their side, even if he didn't say anything about that, at least not to me. His parents were almost killed by some Nausicaans pirates, so I can understand why he feels like this. But honestly I don't think this course of action is either right or intelligent.<p>

Yesterday evening we were finally able to reach them. At first I detected something similar to a plasma discharge with the long range sensors, then we came within sight of the Fortunate; as I had expected, they were surrounded by three Nausicaan ships. Luckily, they were only equipped with plasma cannons and very weak shields.

The captain hailed the Nausicaans: - I have a proposal for you. We'll get your man back and then you'll let the Fortunate continue on her way.-

-You're facing three of my ships. We are not interested in your proposals.- answered one of them. The captain replied that we had scanned their weapons and that we weren't scared at all.

- You're not sneaking up on an old freighter this time. This is an NX Class Starship. Take a good look, because you'll be seeing more of them. Now, you can reconsider my offer or you can take your chances.- the Captain went on defiantly. The Nausicaan captain accepted our proposal but they also told us to hurry.

Too bad that our intelligent Mr. Ryan didn't want our help at all. As usual, Captain Archer tried to persuade him, but soon the Nausicaans got tired and locked weapons on us.

-This has gone on long enough. Now you're putting my crew in danger. Release that hostage.- the Captain told him angrily.

-He's my prisoner and I'm going to handle this in my way- Ryan answered, stubborn.

I feared that we wouldn't have found a resolution when, unexpectedly, Travis flared up. He shouted to Ryan that he was behaving like that just for revenge and that he was jeopardizing the other cargo ships, who would've paid a prize sooner or later. In the meantime the Nausicaans shot us and I returned the fire while Travis went on: -If you don't let your hostage go, the Nausicaans are going to kill you and your crew. And then there'll be twenty three fewer people out there to run those freighters.- Thankfully he managed to persuade Ryan, who released the hostage. The Nausicaans moved off.

I don't know why Travis changed his mind about this story; maybe he's reflected upon it, maybe he's talked with someone. But I don't think we would've been able to settle this matter without his speech.

Anyway, this morning I went to bed at four o'clock because, thanks to that _stupid man _I was in the Armory to make repairs well into the night.


	10. Silent Enemy

**Silent Enemy**

**Author's note: I know that the episode "Cold Front" is previous to this one… but the date is subsequent (September 9), so I'm writing this first.**

**Starlog 21, August 30, 2151**

I'm asking myself in what trouble we've gotten ourselves this time. This morning we settled our second subspace amplifier, Echo Two; Hoshi's worked really hard about it and she was really impatient to try it.

We had just placed the amplifier when a ship dropped out of warp in front of us: the captain tried to hail them, but after a moment they turned and went to warp again. Strangely enough, I didn't relieve neither biosigns nor propulsions, nothing.

The captain stood and motioned for us to follow him in the ready-room:

-Are there inhabited systems nearby?- he asked to T'Pol.  
>-None. – she answered.<br>-Why fly right up to us just to give us the silent treatment?-  
>-Maybe they got our signal but it didn't make any sense to them. Our translator is far from perfect.- Hoshi suggested. She's fussy about her work as much as I am fussy about mine, so I almost smiled at this.<br>-Maybe they checked us out and decided we weren't very interesting.- Travis proposed with a smile.  
>-Us? Not interesting?- I asked, bewildered. How can a sentient being be not interesting? Damn, we study even bugs and mites (I don't, I'm allergic to mites)!<br>But the captain didn't take the mysterious ship too seriously: -Let's calibrate the subspace amplifier. At least the people back home want to talk to us.-

I would not be so sure about _that_…

In the afternoon the alien ship went back. The captain tried to hail them again but again there was no response, and when Hoshi managed to pick up a signal, it turned out to be the most horrible noise I had ever heard. The alien vessel scanned us and then fired us too before leaving again; the hull plating didn't work, I still don't know why. At least, while they were firing I was able to scan them.

-Damage reports are coming in, sir. No one's been hurt.- I told the captain.  
>-What the hell was that about?- he asked me.<br>-Captain, when they fired their weapon they dropped their shielding for about two seconds and I was able to take some scans.-  
>-What did you get?-<br>-Biosigns. At least fifteen, maybe more.-  
>-Their DNA doesn't match anything in our database.- T'Pol cut in.<br>-It's a good thing they're gone. I doubt very much our torpedoes could've penetrated their shielding.- I explained. They could've easily destroyed us if they wanted to. Needless to say, this thought keeps me from sleeping.

But the day wasn't over yet! I was about to go to dinner when the Captain went in the Armoury along with commander Tucker and announced that we would've gone back to Jupiter Station because our weapons aren't complete. As if he discovered that _today_!

-But I believe we can do that work by ourselves.- Commander Tucker pointed out, looking at me.

-Just give us two weeks, Captain.-

-The armoury team at Jupiter Station is trained for this kind of work. If we're going to do this let's do it right.- the Captain declared. Isn't my Armoury team good enough? Does this mean that I'm not able to _do it right_?  
>- My engineers are just as good as they are. – Commander Tucker pointed out, reflecting my own thoughts.<br>-I know that, Trip, but we have other systems that could use overhauls. Look at the bright side. You'll got a chance to say goodbye to Natalie.- I suppose Natalie is Mr. Tucker's ex-girlfriend.

But I could not accept this. I couldn't allow someone else build the missing weapons while my staff stands idly by.  
>-Sir, with your permission, we could at least begin the work, get a few things started for Jupiter Station.- I suggested.<br>-It'll cut down the time we'll have to spend in Spacedock- Commander Tucker added. The captain accepted but nonetheless he told Travis to reverse our course.

As soon as the Captain went out, commander Tucker turned to me with a defiant look:-I bet my staff can build that weapons before we reach the Jupiter Station- he exclaimed.

-That's exactly what I was thinking, Commander- I told him appreciatively.

-Care to work like a mule and have those weapons settled, Malcolm?-

-Of course, Sir.- I answered.

-Then I'm not going to let them build our weapons, what the hell! Come on, Lieutenant, let's have a talk with my staff.-

Commander Tucker and I explained to his staff that we needed three phase cannons to be ready and operative as soon as possible. Eventually, Commander Tucker "ignited" them: -This means double shifts. By the time we reach Jupiter Station, I don't want their engineers to have a thing to do but give us a wash and a wax.-

I envy him. He leads Engineering in an easy-going, cheerful fashion, calls his people by their first names or by nicknames, jokes with them, and they adore him. And nevertheless he manages to get the best from them. I get the best from my staff too, but I need to be strict and stiff. I want precision, concentration and discipline, because even a small error could lead to terrible consequences. When I have to reprimand someone I am stern but I try not to be harsh or humiliating, because you don't work at your best if you feel despised, but probably many of my people sometimes wish I'd go to hell. But I behave like this just because I care for them and for my crew and this is my way to show it.

Now I should really stop. To quote our Mr. Tucker, this night I quite actually _worked like a mule_ until half past one.

**Starlog 22, August 31, 2151**

Another long day. I spent the whole morning in the Armoury and I can say that our work is proceeding very well, probably tomorrow in the afternoon we'll be done.

I'm afraid I cut a sorry figure with Ensign Sato. I was in the mess hall, having lunch and working at the same time, when she came to sit at my table. She started chatting about food and the fact that she'd like to cook but she hasn't time. Truth be told, I was so absorbed in my work that I didn't actually pay attention.

-You'd love my enchiladas.- she said confidently.

-Enchiladas?- I asked distractedly.

-If you don't like them, I could fix something else. What's your favourite food?- she asked. That caught my attention; did she want to date me?

-I appreciate the offer but it really isn't necessary.- I replied, trying to be as polite as possible.

- Aren't you getting a little tired of having to eat whatever Chef happens to serve?- she insisted.

-No, he's a fine cook.-  
>-Don't get me wrong. He's terrific. It's just that dinner in the Mess Hall can lack a certain personal touch. I've got a hot plate in my quarters.- her voice was somewhat uncertain and I was under the impression that she wasn't just chatting innocently.<br>-That's very flattering. I'm just not sure it would be appropriate.- I told her softly.

-What do you mean?- she asked. She appeared sincerely surprised.

I tried to explain that we work together and so it wouldn't be very appropriate if we dated.

She looked at me, bewildered: -No, I didn't mean to imply anything other than just making dinner, Lieutenant.- she stood quickly and I stood as well, trying to stop her: -It's my mistake then.-

-No, it's my fault, I shouldn't have…- she stammered.

I felt really foolish and totally untactful and I also noticed that a surprised crewman was staring at us.

-No, please, finish your dinner.- I told her, embarrassed.

-No no no, you've got a lot of work to do, so…- without completing the sentence she left, the tray in her hands.

I've been really foolish, so foolish that she went away. I don't know if she likes me or if she really just wanted to have dinner with me but I hope for the latter; Hoshi is a very brilliant and sweet lady but, although flattered, I'm not interested in her.

Moreover, while I was finishing my lunch the ship shook violently. I tried to hail the bridge and the Armoury but there was no response, so I headed to the Armoury myself. I found out that two of those aliens were on our ship; they attacked two crewmen and then they went away again. I also found out that we had a plasma leak, that a nacelle had been damaged… and that the subspatial amplifiers have both been destroyed. So Hoshi will have to start that work anew.

I spent the rest of the day in the Armoury. Now it's two o'clock in the morning and I'm dead tired.

**Starlog 23, September 1****st****, 2151**

We finally have some decent weapons.

I must say that my staff and Commander Tucker's as well have been really great. Mr. Tucker says that I'm too hard on them but if we want the work done right we have to keep concentration, which someone lacks sometimes.

Speaking of Mr. Tucker, he and I had a disagreement tomorrow: I wanted to depolarize the EPS grid to take power to the cannons directly from the impulse engine but he believed it was too dangerous.

-Are you trying to make this blow up in your face?- he asked.  
>-The relays were rated to handle that much power.- I explained.<br>-What if there's a surge?-  
>-I've thought of that. These inverters were designed to cut in at the first sign of an overload.- I answered.<br>-We've got to do this by the book, or we'll end up blowing a bigger hole in ourselves than the bad guys.- he replied.

Are they getting crazy? Commander Tucker wants to do something by the book, the captain is even more cautious than me… what the hell is happening here?

-I've run a dozen simulations. It's an acceptable risk.- I retorted, somewhat bitterly.  
>-When it comes to modifying ship systems, why don't you let the Chief Engineer decide what's an acceptable risk?- he was getting angry.<p>

-Sir, if we do this by the book, those aliens are likely to be back before we're done.- I urged him. I worry very much about our crew's security but if the aliens come back and make us blow up it won't be that better!  
>-I want to get this job done as quickly as you do, Lieutenant, but not if it means taking shortcuts that could get our people killed.- he concluded, moving away. There wasn't much left to say for me:- Yes, sir.-<p>

He hadn't even discussed my plan, he hadn't even told me what were the flaws in my plan, he'd just pulled rank on me. Inwardly, I sent him to hell and started disconnecting the weapons from the engine, hoping that the aliens wouldn't have chosen that very moment to come back.

Half an hour later, though, Commander Tucker went back.

-Have you still got those guns of yours hooked up to the impulse engines?- he asked.  
>-I'm just disconnecting them now.- I answered with a bitter voice.<br>-Hang on a minute. You're sure this'll work?- he asked worriedly.  
>-Yes, Commander, I am.-<br>-Then based on the recommendation of the Armoury officer, the Chief Engineer finds the level of risk acceptable.- he declared. I still don't understand why he changed his mind so soon, but nevertheless I sighed with relief.  
>-In that case, if the Chief Engineer wouldn't mind getting his hands dirty, I could use some help.-<p>

He immediately went to help me. While we were working, he said: -I'm sorry for bein' rude to you, Malcolm. Sometimes I jus' fuss about the engines… as you fuss about your damn weapons!- he concluded with a smile. And truth be told I must say that in his place I would've been as recalcitrant as he was.

An hour later, to our great satisfaction, we went to the captain.

-We've finished building the three phase cannons, sir.- I declared smugly.

-And we are ready to run a test at your order, Captain- Mr. Tucker added.

The captain was completely speechless, a strange enough thing. Then he managed to say: -You have been great. We will do this test as soon as possible.-

We found a lifeless asteroid that could use as a target. In the Armoury I acquired the target and fired: not only the yield was ten time higher than we expected, but it blew a few circuits too. Looking at the monitor, I found out that the phase modulators were unexpectedly overloaded and that I didn't know why.

"Commander Tucker is going to kill me" I thought, feeling rather stupid. What had I done wrong?

-Lieutenant- said the Captain's voice in the comm –Report to Launch Bay two immediately.-

I got there as quickly as I could, not knowing what to expect. The captain, T'Pol and Commander Tucker were already there. –The overload wasn't our fault.- Mr. Tucker reassured me –It seems that the aliens left us a kind present.-

The kind present was a small round object settled on a walkway. It put out hundreds of megajoules and more than that it was peeking into all of our systems. The captain sent a message to the aliens (basically telling them to sod off) and then destroyed the object.

I've checked the cannons and this time there aren't overloads. Now I'm just waiting for them to come back. It will be a nice birthday, indeed.

**Starlog 24, September 2****nd****, 2151**

This afternoon, while Commander Tucker and I were in the Armoury, the aliens came back.

We tried to hail them but the answer was: -You are defenseless. Prepare to surrender your vessel.- The captain told me to fire but without yesterday's overload our weapons didn't bother them at all.

-Is that the best we can do, Lieutenant?- the captain asked harshly from the bridge. _If there was something better to do, I would've done it, don't you think?, _I thought.

-Even if these cannons had been installed at Jupiter Station, they wouldn't be any more effective than they are now.- I answered.  
>-What about yesterday? I saw you blow something up the size of Mount McKinley. – he asked.<br>-Yes sir, but that was due to an overload.- I told him. He asked me if it was possible to overload the weapons again; I explained that would've been dangerous but he ordered me to do it nonetheless. Luckily, Commander Tucker had the idea to make the grav-plating absorb the recoil; it seemed very risky to me but I thought that the Chief Engineer knew what to do.

-Are you ready, Malcolm?- the captain asked impatiently from the comm.

-Stand by. Trip?- I asked, addressing Commander Tucker. He nodded to me and I told the captain that we were ready.

We fired and this time it was _very_ effective: the alien vessel moved immediately away, trailing smoke. Our damage was absolutely minimal. And we won't get back to Jupiter Station.

After a moment I realized that I had called Commander Tucker by his nickname, I had done it without noticing. He probably hasn't even noticed but I think I shouldn't do that again, he's my superior officer after all.

Now I've just finished after almost two days non-stop and I took a long, wonderful shower: I was covered in dust.

Until now my birthday has been pleasurable; I didn't actually have fun but at least I'm alive.

Someone's hailing me.

Addition: I am so very happy. The "someone" hailing me before was the captain:

-Malcolm, I haven't properly congratulated you and Trip yet.- he started.

-Never mind, Sir. We were just doing our work.- I answered.

-No, you did far more than your work. No one could've been so quick.-

-Thank you, Sir- I answered, flattered.

-I have a really good Guinness in my quarters. If you come to the Armoury, I think that a toast would just be appropriate.-.

I'm not keen on drinking on duty, but this was the captain inviting me. And moreover, my shift was almost finished.

-Why thank you, Sir. I'm on my way.-

When I got in the Armoury, Commander Tucker was already there. –To our mysterious friends. I wish I could've seen the looks on their faces.- he toasted once the Captain had filled the glasses.  
>-You did your jobs pretty damn well yesterday. I'd say that deserves a little celebration.- the Captain said.<br>Then Hoshi entered carrying a large case: -Sorry to interrupt, Captain, I have that component you asked for.-

She put the case on the table and the captain opened it. -As long as we've got you here, Malcolm.- he said, and then displayed the case's content: a cake with a red lettering saying "_Happy Birthday, Malcolm!_". –Happy birthday- he added. Mr. Tucker and Hoshi were both smiling.

-You shouldn't have gone to any trouble.- I murmured, touched. I didn't expect this at all.

-Oh, no trouble at all!- the captain answered with a smile.

I felt a somewhat burning sensation in my throat and eyes, as if I was going to cry. I opened my mouth but nothing went out and I just put down my glass and took the knife from the Captain's hand.

Not only they had made me a cake, it was also filled with pineapple.. I still don't know how they figured out pineapple's my favourite food, because I'm pretty sure I haven't told anyone on this ship (but at least I understood why Hoshi was so insistent about food some days ago).

This gesture moved me more than I can tell. Not only they stand me, they stand me gladly too. They care for me, something I'm not used to.

I'm happy.


	11. Cold Front

**A.N. Hummingbird2, thank you =D**

**Mary, English is obviously not my first language but I don't know anyone who could correct me…**

**Serit, did it done! The problem is that now I myself have trouble understanding what I write =D**

**Cold Front**

**Starlog 25, September 9, 2151**

I don't understand why Commander Tucker persists on choosing such _horrendous_ movies for the movie night. Maybe he should use someone else's help for this task, for example I'd suggest "_North by Northwest_", which is one of my favourite ones; at least we'd switch genre!

This morning we were en route to a stellar nursery when we met an alien vessel; apparently, they were pilgrims willing to see the so-called "_Great Plume of Agosoria_", a neutron blast they believe to be a sacred event. We took a detour to see the _Great Plume_ as well and the Captain also decided to invite them on our ship.

The Captain is really good at first contacts but I don't understand how he can trust so much people that he doesn't know at all: how could we be certain that they were real pilgrims and not pirates or something like that? I'm afraid that sooner or later we'll form a _friendship_ that we'll come to regret.

Later, Hoshi informed me that they were nice and quiet people and they were just having a tour of the ship.

"I hope he's not planning to show them the Armory." I pointed out, worried.  
>"Don't worry, Lieutenant. They didn't look like the types who'd go around stealing military secrets." Great, so I should decide whether they are trustworthy or not according to their appearance and behaviour! And moreover, P'Jem was a sanctuary too but they didn't seem all peace and meditation to me!<p>

"Still, we're not familiar with these species. Tactical systems should be off-limits. Starboard targeting sensor's out again." I said.  
>"Should I call Engineering?" Hoshi asked back.<br>"No. I'll take care of it. It'll only take a moment. You have the Bridge, Ensign." I told Travis.

I told Rostov about our problem with the targeting sensors and I also asked Ensign Balosz if the aliens had visited the Armoury too (thankfully they had not). When I got back I found a very self-satisfied Travis sitting in the Captain's chair; smiling inwardly, I asked the chair back and he returned to the helm, a bit uneasy.

Very soon we found ourselves into a plasma storm. At first it wasn't too bad – the ship was shaking badly and power went down on C-deck but nothing more, but then I felt a really violent jolt, the lightings went off and I found out that we were loosing main power. The Captain rushed to the bridge, worried:

"Trip, what's happening?" he asked in the comm.

"That last bolt struck the warp manifold! We've got an antimatter cascade, sir! If it reaches the warp reactor we're going to…" at this point, Commander Tucker's agitated voice was covered with explosions and we didn't hear the rest. But I'm fairly sure that he was going to say "explode".

All of a sudden the explosions stilled and the lightings went back on.

"I think we're all right, Captain. The cascade stopped in its tracks." Mr. Tucker sounded bewildered. Apparently it wasn't him who had stopped the cascade, so either it had stopped by itself or someone else had stopped it, I still don't know.

This afternoon the Captain told me to report to Engineering as soon as possible. When I got there, I found the Captain and Commander Tucker both looking into a conduit.

"Someone positioned in this conduit an antimatter junction which prevented us from exploding." The Captain told me. I looked at him, not understanding what the problem was.

"It seems it hasn't been one of our crewmen" Commander Tucker explained.

"Perhaps one of the aliens then?" I suggested.

"We're still not sure, Malcolm. Anyway, keep eyes open." The Captain concluded.

I find it comforting that once in a time the aliens had tried to help us rather than killing us…

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 26, September 10, 2151**

A temporal cold war was really _all_ we needed right now!

It was about midday and I was on the bridge when the Captain called me:

"We've got a Suliban loose on the ship. I want you to lock down every outer door and exit hatch. Post security teams on all decks" he told me.

"Understood".

I went in the Armoury, formed the security teams as soon as possible and then proceeded to lock the doors myself. I was just finished when Commander Tucker hailed me: "Lieutenant, report immediately to security Junction 59, B-deck, with a security team. The Suliban's probably around there" he told me.

Once there, I ascertained that the Suliban had probably slipped through that conduit but pointed out to the Captain that it could've taken time to remove it.

Without giving sign of hearing me, the captain switched on a device that covered his hand and that I had never seen before, then extended his hand towards the bulkhead and _passed_ it. I mean, his hand passed the bulkhead as if there was nothing. Bewildered, I handled the phase pistol to the captain and looked in awe as he _walked through the wall_.

A few minutes later, while the captain was still who knows where, a small Suliban vessel approached and then immediately went to warp, taking the Suliban as well.

I hadn't a clue about what had happened until the Captain summoned me to his ready-room, about ten minutes later.

"What I'm going to tell you is strictly confidential, Lieutenant" he told me.

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know crewman Daniels?" he asked me back.

"Yes, sir, by sight." I answered, not understanding what was he driving at.

"I found out that he's a time traveller."

Time travel is a very disputed topic and many (e.g. Vulcans) believe it to be impossible. I simply looked at the Captain, surprised.

"He talked about a temporal cold war, temporal agents who travel back in time to change events. The Suliban who was on the ship today, Silik, takes part to this war."

I was silent, not knowing what to think or what to say. The Captain may be reckless but he's not a fool and he probably had some very good reasons to believe Daniels.

"We are very likely to meet both Silik and Daniels again and since you're my Security Officer it's only right that you know it. Your superior officers already know." he went on.

"Understood, Sir. May I ask a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Was it Silik to prevent us from exploding?" I asked.

The Captain answered with a soft, cautious voice: "Yes, but I still don't understand why he did so and what intentions he has."

"And was he one of that pilgrims?" I asked again.

He looked at me appreciatively. "Yes, he was."

"Understood, Sir."

"Then you are dismissed, Lieutenant. Thank you."

Later he also told me to assign new quarters to Daniels roommate and to seal off cabin E-14; crewman Carrillo and I locked it with the most powerful magnetic lock I had in the Armoury.

Unlike the Vulcans, I have no problems to accept time travel, but sure as hell I don't want to try it.


	12. Dear Doctor

**Dear Doctor**

**Starlog 27, September 25, 2151**

Oh, I'm dead tired. I'm trying to develop a sensor which could detect unidentified aliens onboard but the task is not an easy one. When I explained to my staff what we were going to do, they looked at me as if I was a total _paranoid_ but I have a feeling that such a tool will be useful sooner or later. And moreover, I'm just trying to protect the ship, especially against the Sulibans; the things the captain told me have quite shocked me and they certainly don't help me relax. On the contrary, I'm afraid that lately I've been fussier than ever.

"After we have developed the sensor, we will connect it with an automatic door locking system" I explained to Ensign Balosz, my second-in-command.

"Understood"

"Then we'll be able to establish a security protocol: when an unidentified alien is detected in a section, the doors will lock automatically". Here many people think I'm obsessed with protocols and standard procedures, but it's the only way I know to get this ship more efficient and safe.

"This will take a long time, Sir" she pointed out.

"The sooner we start, the sooner we'll finish, Ensign" I told her, and so we started.

I've been so occupied with my work that I haven't had time for my usual breakfast with Doctor Phlox, even if he had kindly saved a seat for me.

I think I don't understand Doctor Phlox yet: he can be incredibly _outspoken _regarding matters that a Human would keep to himself, on the other hand he is extremely formal, he never calls people by their first names and he shows a clear discomfort when someone touches him. And most of all he doesn't understand very well the human sense of humour: his jokes are rather incomprehensible.

But now it's time for my night out: "_For whom the bell tolls_" will be projected for the movie night! Commander Tucker got it right this time!

Addition: I still prefer the book over the film.

"This was neither a horror nor a sci-fi: I hope you're happy now!" Commander Tucker muttered to the crew after the movie.

"Quite so. In fact, I've just read the book" I answered.

"Nah. I don't like Hemingway!" he stated.

Considering that the crew was watching us, I didn't believe it _timely_ to express my personal opinion on North American education…

**Starlog 28, September 26, 2151**

Today we've met with a tragedy.

This morning we detected an alien vessel, motionless in the space, that didn't answer to our hailings. It was pre-warp and at first I thought it was unmanned too, but then T'Pol relieved two weak biosigns. We transported them on the Enterprise and even if I'm not a doctor I could tell they were definitely not in good shape.

Doctor Phlox visited them and it came up they have an illness that's already caused more than ten million deaths on their planet, called Valakis. They're not technologically advanced and couldn't find a cure for the illness, so they took refuge in that vessel. Many other people have done the same.

The Captain suggested that Doctor Phlox could transfer to Valakis for a while and try to find a cure, so we got there; apparently, many inhabitants have followed our guests' example, because the planet was surrounded by many shuttlecrafts and artificial satellites.

We transferred the Doctor to the surface and now we have nothing to do but waiting.

Earth has faced many terrible epidemics during its history but nothing like that: our species never risked to be completely destroyed by a disease, not even during pestilences. I can't even imagine what it feels to face _extinction_. Anyway, Doctor Phlox is a very good physician and I hope he'll find a way to help those people.

We've also found out that the Valakians are not the only sentient beings on the planet: there's another humanoid species called Menk, but they're not evolved like the Valakians are. Strange enough, they seem to live in harmony, helping each other.

Still no news from Valakia. I've had lunch with Commander Tucker and Travis while Hoshi is on the planet along with the doctor.

"It must be awful to face such a disease" Commander Tucker murmured thoughtfully.

"Often people become quite pugnacious when faced with a disease" Travis observed.

"Actually I was referrin' to the extinction. Facing one's death is difficult… but knowing that your culture, language and art will disappear with your species and no one will know about it must be dreadful" Mr. Tucker clarified.

"I understand. When the Horizon was in danger… it felt to me as if we were going to loose our world… because no one actually knew us except from the other crewmembers. Our memory risked to be destroyed with us…" Travis remembered.

"This reminds me of the sunken ships that lay under the oceans for centuries before someone finds them. As with _Las Cinque Chagas_." I said. Both Travis and Mr. Tucker looked at me questioningly.

"_Las Cinque Chagas_ was a Portuguese carrack. In 1594 it was defeated in battle by four British ships and sank in the Atlantic ocean. It was retrieved only forty years ago." I explained.

"Five hundred and twenty years, what a time!" Travis exclaimed.

"You're quite an expert about naval history, aren't you?" Mr. Tucker asked me.

"It runs in the family. My father, grandfather and grand-grand father were all in the Royal Navy" I answered. I half expected one of them to ask why I had decided not to follow their footsteps but they didn't.

Mr. Tucker just asked me: "And does your father play battleships?". I rolled my eyes, suppressing a laugh.

As for Mr. Tucker, he sometimes gets on my nerves but maybe one day he'll become a friend. I still don't feel like sharing my thoughts with him but I feel at ease and when I'm with him, even if he's a superior officer, I loosen up a bit.

Addition: It seems to me that the situation is getting desperate. This afternoon we received almost 30 hails from various Valakian clinics asking for our help, they expect so very much from us. But this evening I met briefly with Doctor Phlox and he seemed quite worried, so I'm afraid he hasn't found a cure yet. The Captain seemed worried and thoughtful too and I think he's having a hard time; helping people is very important to him and this situation must be frustrating.

**Starlog 29, September 27, 2151**

We've just left Valakia.

Doctor Phlox found out that the disease which is killing the Valakians is not infectious or something like that, but a genetic disease. In a word, the evolution of the species is killing them to the Menk's advantage.

Although Doctor Phlox had found a cure, the captain decided that we could not interfere with their natural evolution, so we equipped them with painkillers and other palliatives but no more.

It must've been so difficult for the Captain to deny them our help, to sentence them to death. I don't even dare to imagine how he feels right now. He must've fought a hard battle with his own self to come up with this decision and I admire him very much for that.

Even if it's actually horrible, I believe he's right. He was right when he tried his best to help them and he's right now about stopping. Helping them would've been as if someone has helped Neanderthal man against other hominids.

It must've been hard for the Doctor too: having a cure and not being able to use it.

I hope we'll soon find an occasion to actually be useful , so we'll forget this sad story.


	13. Sleeping dogs

**Author's note: Other than posting new chapters, I'm going to gradually repost the other chapters because Seven Fury Kerrigan is kindly beta-reading them.**

**Sleeping Dogs**

**Starlog 30, October 5, 2151 **

What a day!

First of all, I wonder how the hell I've managed to get a cold on a starship. I spent the last night coughing and sneezing and moreover I felt as if my head was going to explode.

This morning I had target practice with Hoshi: she's still used to the old EM-33 pistols and she's having some trouble. I suppose the trouble is mostly caused by nervousness; if she weren't with me, she would've probably shot many more targets. I told her that she should try to relax her shoulders and to point right at the target. Anyway, we had to suspend our target practice because we approached a gas giant.

The gas giant was really beautiful. It was the bigger we had ever seen and as we approached it we could hear a most strange sound that Travis called "Siren calls". Apparently it's usual when you're near to a gas giant.

Then T'Pol read a strange power signature from the planet's atmosphere and we soon found out that it was a shipwreck with many weak lifeforms. We couldn't identify neither the one nor the others.

"That ship is worth an investigation. Lieutenant, T'Pol, the two of you will form an away team."

"Are you sure this is appropriate, captain? We don't know anything about that vessel… or about its inhabitants." T'Pol pointed out.

"That biosigns are very weak. They can do no harm." he answered. This time I had to agree with the captain, maybe they needed some help, maybe their life support was lacking. Moreover, I feel that if one really needs to question the Captain's orders it would be better to do so in the ready room, not on the bridge.

Before the departure I went to see Doctor Phlox, because my sneezing had become unsustainable.

"We can travel faster than the speed of light. You'd think we could find a cure for the common cold. " I told him before sneezing for the unpeteenth time.  
>"You should be grateful. A human cold is so mild. I once had a patient with the Kamaraazite flu. He sneezed so violently he nearly regurgitated his pineal gland" he told me cheerfully. I suppose this was his way of reassuring me but it didn't work, because I immediately pictured myself regurgitating <em>my<em> pineal gland.

He gave me a hypospry for the symptoms (and that worked) and advised me to rest in bed, but of course I couldn't do that.

"Well, you won't be contagious inside an environment suit. Just try not to sneeze in your helmet." he concluded with a shrug.

"I'll do my best." I answered hopelessly, suppressing another sneeze.

I found out that Hoshi had been assigned to the away team too. Remembering the last time we were on a shipwreck together, I asked myself if she was really up for that, but she appeared very determined. She surprises me: one moment she is insecure and anxious and a moment later she becomes strong and bold.

"I thought you were acquainted with the environmental suit." T'Pol told her while Hoshi checked her suit.

"I am. I'm just brushing up on the backup systems. I wouldn't want the emergency oxygen to fail during a hull breach."  
>"Trust me, Ensign. If there's a hull breach the pressure will crush you to something about this big." I said playfully, clenching my fist as a demonstration. She looked at me with very wide eyes.<br>"I requested you for your skills as a translator, but if you're uncomfortable..." T'Pol went on. I feel that was not the most appropriate thing to say, but she's not human, thus she doesn't understand our insecurities and our need to overcome them.  
>"I'm perfectly comfortable. I used to find the suits a little claustrophobic, but I'm getting used to them. I'll see you in the shuttlepod." Hoshi snapped back before leaving.<p>

On the shuttlepod I took the helm. The most important problem was the planet's gravity and the consequent increasing pressure; T'Pol said that we could've handled it for about an hour, then we would've begun to sink in the atmosphere.

"You sound uncomfortable, Sub-Commander." Hoshi stated mockingly.

"I'm merely stating the facts." T'Pol answered with a calm voice.

OK, Hoshi does definitely not like T'Pol. But sarcasm is wasted with Vulcans, they don't understand it.

"We'll be on our way back well before we're in any danger. I for one have no interest in imploding a valuable shuttlepod." I said, trying to soothe the arguments. Disappointment among the superior officers is not good at all and it doesn't provide a good example to the crew too.

We soon found a hatch and docked. According to T'Pol, the vessel's atmosphere was breathable but it seems that the smell wasn't pleasurable at all (I didn't notice because of the _bloody cold_). Moreover, we found out that the vessel was Klingon, we're always so very _lucky_!

On the bridge we found three Klingons, unconscious and apparently very weak. T'Pol suggested to leave before they regained consciousness but Hoshi and I didn't agree. I know that they're Klingons and they don't want anyone's help, but it's unconceivable for me to let them be. It wasn't as if they were dying in battle, they were dying for other reasons and it was our duty to determine them.

"Well, I for one don't intend to just fly off and let these people die, honourable deaths or not." I stated.  
>"Your compassion is admirable but misguided. If they awake and find us on their ship, they'll kill us." T'Pol answered.<p>

We called the Enterprise and the Captain agreed with me and Hoshi, stating that we should at least try to help them before leaving. He insisted that we had to leave in less than twenty minutes, otherwise the pressure would've become excessive.

I was just suggesting that maybe we could send a distress call to their planet when I heard a bulkhead closing. Soon we found out that someone had took our shuttlepod and left: we were trapped on a Klingon vessel.

The vessel didn't have escape pods and the communications were off because of the interferences; our only choice was to put the vessel on a stable orbit before being crushed by the pressure. Hoshi started to translate their panels and we found out that the hull's integrity was failing, which left us only a few hours. Then Hoshi found the panel activating the impulse drive. When I tried to activate it, an alarm started sounding and a Klingon text appeared on the screen. I looked at Hoshi for explanation:

"It says the pressure's failing in the J'khat bah. Fusion manifold. Do you know what that means?" she said.  
>That was <em>great<em>. "To quote our very own Mister Tucker, that means we're dead in the water." I answered. On that very moment, the captain hailed us, telling that they were on their way to get us. In all honesty I wasn't too confident about that and actually the captain called back very soon: "I'm afraid we've got a little hitch in our rescue plan. We'll be back for you as soon as we can. In the meantime, just sit tight."

Thanks to Hoshi we managed to find the plasma inductor, but honestly I didn't understand that much about it, I'm not an engineer. We also found a videotape where the ship's captain explained what had happened to them: they had fought with a Xarantine ship reporting damage to their port fusion injector and they had hidden in the planet's atmosphere to complete the repairs without being noticed. But then the crew had mysteriously fallen ill and the captain complained because such a death didn't match with Klingon honour.

The hull's integrity was becoming very crytical and an idea flashed into my mind: we could've fired some torpedoes, thus generating a shockwave that would've pushed us to an higher level of the atmosphere. T'Pol was skeptical but I felt that we hadn't other options and eventually she accepted. The first torpedo was probably too weak and it hadn't any effect, so we tried with two of them and we moved up of two hundred meters. I was hoping for something more but that was better than nothing.

"How many torpedoes do we have left?" I asked Hoshi.

"Six."

"Load two more"

"It won't be enough." she pointed out. We hadn't time to argue, though:  
>"Load the weapons."<br>"We already tried. It didn't work." she protested.  
>"Ensign." I warned.<br>" She's right. We'll never reach a safe altitude climbing a few hundred metres at a time. " T'Pol cut in. I knew that myself, but was there another choice? Should we have waited for the pressure to crush us instead?  
>"The longer we stand around arguing the more ground we lose!" I answered, hopeless.<p>

Eventually both T'Pol and Hoshi agreed with me and we fired all of the torpedoes, gaining another eight-hundred meters.

"I brought someone who should be able to help do just that. We're docking now." the Captain's voice said from the comm. I was so very happy to hear him.

He emerged from the shuttlepod with a Klingon officer (later we found out it was she who had stolen our shuttlepod). I still don't know how the hell he had managed to get us, flying into those interferences, the man always appears when you need him the most. Of course, the Captain said he didn't intend to leave until the ship's repairs were finished: typical Captain Archer. Anyway, we gave the ship back to its captain and we went back on the Enterprise. I felt so dirty that for once our time in the decon room was a very pleasurable one; T'Pol even told Doctor Phlox that she had headache so he would keep us in there for another while.

Today for several moments I feared that I wouldn't have survived, but I also feel uncharachteristically pleased with myself because I did what I believe to be my best. And, most important thing of all, we met the Klingon and managed not to be _killed_.

Now I'll finally get into my _soft, warm and beloved bed_.


	14. Shadows of P'Jem

**Shadows of P'Jem**

**Starlog 31, October 28, 2151**

Why do I always end up working 30 hours non-stop?

We received some very disturbing news from Starfleet yesterday morning. The Andorians have destroyed the sanctuary of P'Jem. Thankfully no one was killed, but P'Jem was a quite rewarded retreat and its loss is culturally incalculable. Obviously the Vulcans are not happy with it and they also hold us responsible because we actually sided with the Andorians. For this reason Ambassador Soval ordered T'Pol to go back to Vulcan and he had a Vulcan ship, the Ni'var, intercept us to take her back as soon as possible.

I can understand their disappointment and the fact that not all Vulcans agree with their government's foreign policy, but they were the first ones to disrespect that retreat, so they shouldn't complain when someone else disrespects it as well. Moreover, I must admit that T'Pol's departure would be a great loss for us; she's helped us in many critical situations.

Apart from P'Jem, the Captain decided to visit Coridan, a system he had discovered in the Vulcan database. The Coridan chancellor told us that they would've liked to know us better before allowing lots of us to visit the planet, so she asked the Captain to bring only a few people: for this reason, the away-team was composed by him and T'Pol only.

It would've been more rational to take Hoshi instead of T'Pol but I'm sure there is a reason for this. I suppose T'Pol has been shaken, in her own Vulcan way, by the latest news from P'Jem, and I bet the Captain wanted to talk to her about this.

The Coridan chancellor seemed friendly to me, her security precautions appeared rational, so I didn't advise the Captain to take a security team with him and I made a mistake. I don't know, I try not to be my usual paranoid self but every time I loosen up a bit something wrong happens so I suppose I should go back to my hyper-cautiousness.

Half an hour after their departure, we hadn't received any communication yet. Worried, I went to see commander Tucker, who was in charge:

"They should already be on the planet but they haven't hailed us yet." I told him.

"Maybe they've forgotten about it" he suggested.

"I don't think so, Commander. I insisted a lot on security protocols and lately the Captain's been applying them to the letter." I explained.

He seemed thoughtful and I went on: "I think it would be better to hail them."

"Go on, hail them" he answered.

Neither the Captain nor T'Pol answered to our hails. Hoshi tried many times but there was no sign of them.

"Let's call the Chancellor. Maybe she knows what's going on.- Mr. Tucker suggested.

When we informed her of our problem she didn't look surprised at all, apparently she already knew everything. She explained that probably the Captain and T'Pol had been attacked by some radical faction and that they weren't able to locate them.

"You didn't tell us about any factions." Mr. Tucker protested.  
>"They're a small group. We had no idea they were capable of an attack like this. But be assured, Commander, your people are almost certainly still alive" she replied.<br>"Almost certainly?" I asked, worried. I was getting angry, both with myself and with the Coridans.  
>"The radicals will want something in exchange for the hostages. They always do. Side arms, dicobalt explosives. It's important that you don't give them anything." She said they always do, so apparently she was quite used to this attacks. I was actually boiling with rage:<br>"Is this how you protect your visitors?" I asked her bitterly.  
>"You might have told us about your little war before you invited us down." Mr. Tucker pointed out.<p>

The Chancellor stated that it wasn't a war but just an incident and that they were doing their best for retrieving our officer, then she ended the transmission.

"We're not going to sit on our hands and wait for a ransom note. Start scanning for human and Vulcan biosigns" said Mr. Tucker. It would've been a long and difficult task because there were billions of people on the planet, but we tried our best.

After an hour I found a ditanium signature outside the Capital; it certainly belonged to our shuttlepod, but there weren't Human or Vulcan biosigns nearby.

"Sir, I've got a rescue team standing by in the launch bay." I told Commander Tucker after informing him of the discovery.  
>"Hold on, Malcolm. We don't even know if this is our pod. I don't want to go down and find it's some alien tractor." And does he really think that I can't tell a shuttlepod from a <em>tractor<em>?  
>"It's our shuttlepod. I'm certain of it. All I'm suggesting is we go down and have a look around." I explained tiredly. That very moment someone hailed us: they were the kidnappers.<p>

"We're holding your Captain and your steward. In exchange for their safe return we want forty of your phase weapons, the same type we found aboard your shuttle. You'll be hailed at this time tomorrow." I frowned: there was no steward with them! Moreover, when Commander Tucker asked to talk to the captain, the kidnapper stated that we certainly wouldn't want to harm _her_.  
>"At least it sounds like they're still alive." Travis stated, as if that was enough.<br>"For how long? We don't have forty phase pistols, we've got fifteen, and even if we give them to these people there's no guarantee they'll keep their word. We know where the shuttle is. We have to send a team down now while we still have the element of surprise." Commander Tucker was about to answer me when we received another call – from the Vulcans this time.

They can become so bloody irritating sometime! When we informed them of the kidnapping they said that, since a Vulcan officer was involved, they would've took over the investigations and warned us to "refrain from any foolish endeavours".

Commander Tucker was actually boiling with rage; he called back the Vulcan vessel and demanded to meet their captain but the meeting was completely unsuccessful; they had decided to penetrate the kidnappers' base of operations and weren't going to listen to our reasons.

"Any data you may have on the location of your Captain and the Sub-Commander would be useful." The Vulcan captain said before leaving.  
>"Sorry, we don't have anything." Commander Tucker promptly answered, but when Sopek left he told me to warm up the shuttlepod.<p>

We landed near to a shanty town, a poor, miserable place. All of a sudden someone attacked us and put a bag over our heads: it happened so quickly that I hadn't even the time to react. Someone dragged us for several moments until we reached a closed space and we were allowed to sit. When they removed the bags from our heads, I saw Commander Shran standing in front of me.

Shran, the responsible of P'Jem's destruction, was the last person I was expecting to see. He briefly informed us that the rebels who had kidnapped our officers were fighting against the corrupted Coridan government, which was supported by the Vulcans. He also said that he wanted to help the Captain because he owed him a favor; he knew exactly the room where the Captain and T'Pol were located. At first they wanted to settle things alone, but eventually Mr. Tucker persuaded them to accept our help.

I wasn't very sure we could trust them, but it seemed to me that we hadn't other options; moreover, Shran had just saved our lives preventing the Coridans from finding us, so I had to oblige.

Too bad that, when we were about to reach the Captain, the Vulcans decided to come out and attack the Coridans, thus screwing our escape plan. Mr. Tucker and Shran went to free the Captain and T'Pol while I gave covering fire against the Coridans; to my relief, the four of them soon reappeared alive and well.

On the other hand, the Vulcans weren't too happy with us.

"Your presence here is a violation of the Tau Ceti Accords." Sopek stated, addressing Shran.  
>"You lecture us about treaty violations?" Shran answered, voicing my own very thoughts.<br>"Put down your weapons!" the Vulcan exclaimed.  
>"I know better than to lower my guard around Vulcans."<br>"Look, we're all on the same side here." The Captain began, but that very moment T'Pol jumped to Sopek, pushed him aside and then collapsed on the ground. Turning, we saw a Coridan rebel aiming a weapon at her; she had tried to save that pain in the ass of a Vulcan captain.  
>Shran and his lieutenant immediately shot the rebel and we all rushed to T'Pol's side.<br>"Let's get her to the ship." The Captain urged.  
>"She's no longer your responsibility. We'll treat her on the Ni'Var." Sopek replied. I think he should've had the decency to shut the hell up.<br>"She's still my Science Officer. Is the pod close?" the Captain asked, picking her up.  
>"Yes, sir." I answered.<p>

We've got her back to the Enterprise. I hope Phlox will be able to fix her.

I don't know why the hell she decided to take the shot in Sopek's place; it's not as if he is her captain or someone she is acquainted to. I seriously hope that they will reconsider their decision to take her back, because I honestly don't know how we could manage without her knowledge and expertise.

Now it's five in the morning and I feel I need a few sleep's hours.

Addition: T'Pol is well and thankfully they decided to leave her with us for now. Apparently, the Captain and Doctor Phlox tricked them into believing that she suffers from a serious neural damage and that it would be dangerous to move her now. The Vulcans have already left and we are resuming our course.

That planet has touched me deeply; they are taunted by insecurity, political instability, poorness. They're so miserable that they prefer to fight each other instead of searching for the real causes of their problems. I believe that finding scapegoats is not a good way of solving problems.

**Author's Note: next chapter (Shuttlepod one) coming in a couple of days!**


	15. Shuttlepod One

**Shuttlepod One**

**Starlog 32, November 5, 2151**

I've finally managed to take the ship's targeting scanners to _perfection_ but I'm not entirely happy with the shuttlepod' ones. We've almost never tried them.

"It would be better to run a test, Sir" I told the Captain this morning.

"We have a lot of spare time, you can proceed" he answered.

"The problem is that I have to get at least 20000 kilometers from the ship to get a significant result, so we should stop somewhere and go on with the test, Captain" I explained.

He seemed thoughtful for a moment, then he said: "we will see if there is something interesting nearby, so we could stop there and you could run your test."

With T'Pol's help we found a huge asteroid field that the Captain decided to map, so the first problem was settled. I also requested an engineer because the scanners may need some technical improvement, so Commander Tucker will accompany me on this mission.

We're going to leave tomorrow morning, so I suppose I will quit my starlog for a few days. Apart from the targeting session itself I feel the next days will be rather uneventful, so I brought Joyce's _Ulysses_ with me; it's the only Joyce's novel that I haven't read yet.

I have to say that Mr. Tucker's choices for the movie night have sensibly improved; yesterday we watched _Vertigo_. I always enjoy a good Alfred Hitchcock film.

**Starlog 33, November 11, 2151**

I really thought I would've died. I don't remember being so scared and devastated in my entire life. But at least I feel I've finally found a friend.

On November 6th, Commander Tucker and I left for our targeting session; as I had expected the first trial wasn't acceptable at all, so the two of us made some modifications to the sensor and the second trial went sensibly better.

But on the third trial something went wrong and the shuttlepod was shaken by a remarkable jolt.

"Damn!" Mr. Tucker cursed a moment later.

"What's up?"

"Our sensor array is completely off" he stated. He tried his best to pull it together but we decided to go back to the Enterprise before the situation got more serious.

We approached the asteroid field where the ship was supposed to be but there was no sign of it. We were chatting about nonsense- Joyce, British vs North American education, I don't even remember – when I noticed an asteroid with a big crash site with a lot of debris nearby. Getting closer, we saw a piece of metal with the number 01 on it.

For a second my heart stopped beating, my blood rushed to my temples, my mind was clouded.

"What's happened" Mr. Tucker's bewildered voice came from somewhere. The debris told us that the Enterprise had been destroyed- and its crew with it.

I don't remember feeling so helpless in my entire life; I had just found a place where I really belonged and I had lost it. Except from Commander Tucker, I had lost all the people I cared for: the Captain, Travis and his playfulness, Hoshi and her insecurity, Doctor Phlox with his strange smile and cheerful mood… even T'Pol.

Commander Tucker stated that we couldn't leave Enterprise and that we had at least to find the black boxes. When I told him that we couldn't do so without the sensors, he decided to head to Echo Three and send a distress call even it would've been impossible to reach it, even if our sensors and navigation systems were down; I argued but it was pointless.

"Which way?" he asked.  
>"Which way to what?" I asked back.<br>"Echo Three. Which way to Echo Three?" he clarified.  
>"I told you, it's too far."<br>"Do you know which direction it is or don't you?" he snapped, irritated.  
>"Navigation is down." I explained.<br>"That's not what I asked you."  
>"You want me to guess?" I asked, bewildered.<br>"You come from a long line of Navy men and you got a real good memory. Look hard at those stars, find something that looks familiar and tell me which way to go." Of course, a star that looks familiar, as if they were completely different from one another!  
>"Sir." I protested.<br>"That's an order!" He rarely pulls rank on people, so I understood that he was very distressed and tried to comply. We had just lost our best friends and our crew, it was just natural for us to be nervous and not entirely reasonable.

In the case that our distress called actually reached Echo Three, I decided to dictate a log to register what had happened to us and what the Enterprise had meant to us. To me, it was the most natural thing in the world but apparently Mr. Tucker didn't agree:

"Why don't you cut the crap and get back here and help me?" he snapped.  
>"What would you like me to do?" I asked, trying to keep my calm.<br>"I don't know. You could hold this flashlight, or turn down the heat. Whatever you want. I'm just getting a little tired of listening to all your pessimism." He was getting angrier with every word.  
>"If there's something you need me to do I would be more than happy to comply, but I'm afraid pessimism is simply not an accurate description of my log entry. I'm just being realistic, Commander." I pointed out softly, telling myself that some irrationality was understandable from both of us.<p>

Mr. Tucker stated that we had nine days of oxygen left, thus we could've run into lots of ships or planets; I proposed to heat up some rations, just to change the subject. We ate quietly, exchanging just a few words and thankfully not arguing, then Commander Tucker said that he wished to take a nap.

On the other hand, I decided to go on with the recordings; apart from the official log, I wanted to send some lines to my family and ex-girlfriend too. While I was dictating the recording for my parents, a very disappointed Mr. Tucker interrupted me:

"Malcolm! You've been at it for hours now. Don't you think it's time to give it a rest?"

This time I couldn't manage to be patient and I answered to the provocation: "As I'm sure you must have heard that was my esteemed colleague, Commander Charles Tucker. Mister Tucker doesn't share my belief that it is essential to say what must be said, to leave a record, tie up loose ends. Mister Tucker is labouring under the false hope that we are going to be miraculously rescued before we both suffocate." I dictated, waiting for his reaction. He immediately got up and went to sit beside me.  
>"Mister and Mrs. Reed, I realize that you've just begun a period of mourning and that I'll never get an answer to this question, but I got to ask it anyway. Was Malcolm always this cynical?" he dictated with a harsh voice.<p>

That hurt. We've had our banters sometimes but they had never been serious and we had always managed to settle our disagreements before that. I cared for him, admired his skills and I was also becoming to feel a sort of friendship - and now I had to spend my last hours with a man that apparently couldn't _bear_ me?

"In a few days, when the reality of this situation actually begins to sink in, you might very well decide you want to record some logs of your own. You have my word, I will not interrupt you." I snapped.  
>"I just need to get some sleep, Malcolm! Is that so hard to understand?" he asked, barely controlling his voice.<br>"We have less than nine days of oxygen left. It seems a waste to use it up sleeping."  
>"If I don't waste some oxygen sleeping, I'm going to start getting real cranky, and you don't want to spend your last nine days cooped up with me when I'm cranky. So turn that thing off and get some rest." He told me, actually switching off my recording.<p>

I complied because I didn't want to upset him even more, I didn't want to live my last nine days like this.

I was more tired than I had thought and I fell asleep in a few moments; I dreamt that we were back on the Enterprise. Captain Archer proudly told me that I had saved Commander Tucker's life but refused to clarify, the he left Sickbay, leaving me alone with T'Pol. She told me that I had been heroic and selfless, then I remember her taking my hand. I don't remember what we said to each other apart from a few lines:

"Vulcans can never ignore courage and this Vulcan will never ignore Lieutenant Malcolm Reed again." She told me with a husky voice.  
>"I can't say I've ever ignored you, T'Pol. Is it all right if I call you T'Pol?"<br>"Yes. May I call you Malcolm?" she asked back. I remember saying that I don't care much for my name, I remember her smiling for something I had said, but no more. It was quite strange: I've always found her attractive and sometimes she's managed to slip in my most unguarded dreams, but I never had feelings for her. I suppose this was just a consequence of how much I was missing them.

She was about to kiss me when I was suddenly awoken up by a sharp sound and I heard Mr. Tucker's voice:

"I got the receiver working but the transmitter's a lost cause. Who's Stinky?" he asked me.  
>"I beg your pardon?" I asked back, not understanding the connection.<br>"You were talking in your sleep. You kept calling for some guy named Stinky."

Then I remembered, this was the word that had made T'Pol laugh. I felt a stabbing pain in chest thinking back to my dream; I would've given anything to see them again, to hear their voices again.

I asked Mr. Tucker about the repairs, trying to change subject before my emotions overwhelmed me.

That very moment something hit our shuttlepod and soon we noticed that we were losing atmosphere; we managed to find the hole and temporarily close it (with mashed potatoes actually) but still the hit had destroyed one of our oxygen tanks. We had two days of air left.

Given that we were going to die anyway, I felt that agonizing for two days was better than agonizing for just two days, but for _some reason_ I decided not to share my feelings with Mr. Tucker.

"The skin of this pod is designed to deflect a meteor five times the size of this hole." I pointed out.  
>"In that case, I'd guess it wasn't a meteor. I wonder if something like it destroyed Enterprise." He stated.<br>"We'll never know."  
>"Always the optimist." He grunted. I was not in the mood for arguing again so I tried to answer playfully and soon we found ourselves chatting lightly, as we had done sometimes on the Enterprise. I found out that we had even dated the same girl – Ruby, a waitress from the 602 Club, but his infatuation appeared quite more serious than mine. He seemed slightly disappointed when I told him that I <em>knew her<em> as well.

Then he proposed to lower the thermostat so we could've had another half day and I obliged, not wishing to interrupt the relaxing moments we had managed to share.

When I began to shave and said that I would've wanted to look good as a corpse, he gently reminded that hairs and nails keep growing after death. I remembered quite the opposite, but at least now he was trying to understand my behaviour and hadn't simply labeled me as "pessimistic". I appreciated the effort and turned off my shaver.

After some time we began to freeze. Feeling that we hadn't much time left, I decided to go on with the recordings even if I feared that Commander Tucker wouldn't have liked that. But during my first three or four recordings he stayed completely silent (even if now I admit that they had to appear quite ridiculous).

Then he couldn't keep himself anymore:

"Wouldn't it be easier just to record one message and then add the Dear Whoever afterward? This is your fifth or sixth identical letter." He stated.  
>"That's not true. There have been subtle differences. I would never refer to Rochelle as having a beautiful smile. With her, it was the eyes."<p>

Mr. Tucker started talking about Hoshi, about the times she had saved our lives:  
>"I plan on letting her family know just how essential she was." He concluded.<br>"Sounds to me like you do have some letters to record." This was just a statement, I didn't wish to be rude at all.

But Mr. Tucker's answer just drove me mad: "I'll wait to tell them in person." He said confidently.  
>"You know, your optimism is beginning to get just a little bit tiresome." I answered harshly. I cared so much for them and it was too painful for me to hear those words.<br>"Unlike your heartfelt letters of farewell to half the girls in San Francisco?" he snapped back. His words hit something deep in my chest. I realized I had sent letters to the people I wanted to reproach for some reason and that I hadn't recorded a line for the ones who really cared for me, like my sister and my Aunt Sherry. I think that in some way I did so on purpose.  
>"At least I'm capable of accepting our fate. We're going to be dead in about thirty three33 hours. Whether our beards continue to grow or not is of no concern to me. We will be dead! And unless some ship happens to cross our path, our bearded bodies will be discovered in about three or four years. Is that optimistic enough for you?" I asked, trying not to shout. I knew these words would've hurt him, but why had I to be the only one suffering?<br>"What's your problem with having a little hope?"  
>"What's your problem with facing the truth?" I asked.<br>"You're a regular grim reaper, Malcolm. Anyone ever tell you that?" Of course someone had already told me that, but it had never happened during my service on the Enterprise. I felt so tired and so sad that I hadn't been able to see my very soul, to see how I felt.

Commander Tucker offered me a heaten up ration but I turned it down, so he _ordered_ me to have a glass of Kentucky bourbon. He also lightened a candle _"for the mood"_.  
>"You know that's going to consume oxygen, don't you?" I asked, perplexed.<br>"We'll probably be dead five or six minutes earlier than we would have been. I can live with that. Anyway, it seems to me as far as you're concerned, the sooner the better." Of course. It may seem foolish but that hurt me like hell. During our first months I had become to feel at ease around Commander Tucker and I was beginning to loosen up a bit, to relax into a friendship. And now his words told me that he had never actually understood me.

"Is that really how you see me? The eternal pessimist? The grim reaper? I don't want to die. What makes you think I want to die?" I asked him, feeling that my voice was beginning to quiver.  
>"Because ever since we saw Enterprise spread across that asteroid, you've done nothing but write your own obituary." He pointed out. Later I had to admit to myself that he was right but on that moment I couldn't manage to loose him as well. I wanted to share my last hours with someone who <em>got<em> me, once in a lifetime.  
>"I lost nearly everyone I cared about on that ship. Those girls I talked about. Rochelle, Deborah, Catelin. None of them worked out because I could never get very close to them. Never got very close to my family either, for that matter, not that it's any business of yours." I stopped, choking back a sob. When I spoke again there were tears in my eyes and my voice quivered so much that I thought I could've broken any moment.<p>

"But with the crew of the Enterprise, it was different. I was really starting to feel comfortable with them, and now the only one that's left thinks I'm the bloody angel of death." Feeling embarrassed, I did my best to hide the few tears escaping from my eyes. I had never opened up like that to anyone and I was opening up with him because I thought that we were going to die anyway. I was expecting him to say something bitter, to laugh at me, but he just blew up the candle and gestured for me to sit next to him. I complied, noticing that I was actually freezing now. He pulled out the thermal blankets, handling one to me.

"I'm sorry, Malcolm" he told me, finally sitting and offering me the bourbon bottle again "I tend to get cranky sometimes".

"Never mind. I don't want to end my life with a fight." I answered.

Then I don't remember much. We drank the most part of the battle and chatted, our minds clouded by the bourbon. I remember telling him many personal things I hadn't ever told anyone: that I always feel that I haven't done my best, that I am approval-craving, that I fear to be rejected. I think that I wouldn't have said those things under any circumstances, had I been sober. He told me about his life, he told me many anecdotes about the Captain and him, and soon we started to giggle for some reason.  
>Until the comm crackled twice.<p>

In some moments my mind cleared completely and soon, to my great relief, I heard Hoshi's voice in the comm. "It's impossible!"  
>"Don't be so pessimistic. It's not impossible. It's Hoshi. They're okay. Enterprise is okay. It's Hoshi!" I rebuffed him playfully.<p>

She told us that we would rendez-vous in two days and it took us a little time to remember that we hadn't two days of air. It may sound strange but, if it weren't for Mr. Tucker, I wouldn't have minded at all about that; they were _alive_, everything else went _after_!

I proposed that we could try to get their attention by blowing the impulse drive. Mr. Tucker protested feebily- he's an engineer after all- but eventually he agreed with me and we did it. Thankfully.

But , that bloody idiot, decided to let me have a higher chance of survival by killing himself, thus leaving me with a few other hours of air left. At first I thought he was just joking but when he started climbing into the airlock I understood that he wasn't.  
>"What are you doing?" I asked.<br>"We don't know whether or not they saw our little display of pyrotechnics, but either way this'll double your chances."  
>"You're crazy. Now get down from there!" I told him. I didn't want him to die, especially not for me.<br>"Sit down, Lieutenant."  
>"If anyone should go up in there, it should be me. You're the Chief Engineer."<br>"I'm also in charge of deciding who's going into this airlock. Do I make myself clear?" Did he really believe that I would've cared for _rank_? Without even thinking, I pointed a phase pistol at him.  
>"What are you going to do? Kill me?"<br>"It's set to stun. I don't want to use it, but I will." I explained.  
>"Put it down!" he shouted.<br>"Go to hell!" I shouted back.  
>"Stop trying to be a hero. It doesn't suit you." He hissed angrily, finally coming down.<br>"What would you know about being a hero? It takes nothing but a coward to crawl up inside a hole to die." I was mad at him but it wasn't for the cowardice. It was because he had been willing to sacrify his life for me, even after all of our fights. He had been so brave and lifeless that I felt bad for my rudeness and for the fact that I hadn't exactly made these days easier for him.  
>"Then go ahead and shoot me, but you better hope we don't make it, because if we survive the first thing I'm going to do is bust your ass back to Crewman Second Class for insubordination." He shouted back, angry as I had never saw him. As if I cared.<br>"Be my guest. I could use a little less responsibility. Now, get down here." I answered defiantly.  
>"Who the hell do you think you are?" he asked, boiling with rage.<br>"Your Armoury Officer, and perhaps your friend."  
>"Friends don't shoot each other!" he protested.<p>

I told him that I didn't want to die alone and to waste my efforts as well: "I've invested far too much time trying to figure you out, Mister Tucker. I'm not about to accept that it was all for nothing."

He had nothing to reply to that and we sat silently next to each other, waiting for our fate.

I awakened in Sickbay. At first I thought it was just another dream but it all looked so real, I could feel my body… I was back. The Captain and T'Pol were looking at me, the former with a soft smile on his lips.

"We're back. How did…?" I asked, beginning to stand.  
>"Easy, Malcolm. You fellows had a nice little bout with hypothermia." He answered.<br>"The Commander?" I asked with a fearsome, dark sensation in my guts.  
>"He's going to be fine." The captain told me, and then I felt something warm and reassuring floading through me. He was fine.<br>"It took nearly three hours go get your body temperatures back to normal." Doctor Phlox cut in, and I appreciated more than ever his merry voice and strange accent.  
>"You must have seen the explosion." I told the captain.<br>"Hard to miss. You know, you guys only had two or three hours of air left."  
>"You don't say. We saw debris from Enterprise on one of the asteroids. We assumed… we thought you were all…" I felt that I was about to cry again.<p>

"I'll tell you all about it in the morning" the captain told me gently, patting my shoulder. He and T'Pol headed to the door but I called her back. I told her that I had heard her speaking about heroics to me and she heightened her brows in her very Vulcan way. It was so different from the T'Pol of my dream and so true that I finally felt at home again.

And then, all of a sudden, I remember the things I had confessed to Mr. Tucker. At first I was overwhelmed by a surge of embarassment: I had opened my heart to him and I felt so vulnerable about that. I've always tried my best to build a wall around my heart, to defend it, for even if I act coolly I'm quite easily hurt and sensitive and I know that. But then I realized that talking with Mr. Tucker had been… _good_… and that I didn't regret it. I felt very _exposed_, but not hurt, not despised as I had expected.

I turned towards his biobed, where he was still sleeping. –Trip- I called softly, using his nickname for the first time and knowing he couldn't hear me. –Mind if I call you Trip? Sleep well, my friend.-

I remember a line in the Harry Potter books I used to read when I was younger: it was something like "when you go through certain experiences, you can do nothing but becoming friends". For them it was a three meters tall mountain troll, for us it had been a freezing shuttlepod. But I suppose the meaning is the same.

The captain's told me what had actually happened to the Enterprise but I'm just too tired to record it. Actually I'm tired of recording _anything_.

Thankfully, Trip woke up as well and he is fine now.

"Trip?" I called softly while we were both lying in sickbay.

"Oh, thank God!" he mused because I had used his nickname. "Yes?"

"Do you suppose that we're friends now?" I asked carefully.

"Yes! What the hell!" he told me back without hesitation.

Now I actually feel fine.


	16. Fusion

**Author's note: from this moment on I will be able to update once a week, I've got a lot of work to do…**

**Fusion**

**Starlog 34 , November 21, 2151**

I have a feeling that Soval wouldn't approve of _these_ Vulcans.

This morning I had just gotten on the Bridge when we were hailed by an apparently Vulcan ship; it didn't look like the usual Vulcan vessels and when its Captain appeared on our screen with a smile on his lips it was clear to me that these were not quite the traditional Vulcans.

Captain Archer seemed to share my thoughts: "I get the feeling you weren't sent out here by the High Command" he pointed out. The Vulcan Captain – Tavin- explained that they were on a mission of exploration and they requested our assistance for repairing their propulsion and life support.

This startled me; it was the first time that a Vulcan asked our technical assistance. Captain Archer said that we would've been glad to help and invited the Vulcan Captain on the Enterprise. Trip went on the Vahklas to assess the situation and stated that the repairs will take about three days and later I saw him having lunch with one of the Vulcan officers.

I've spent a lot of my spare time with Trip since our shuttlepod adventure and I find him really nice. He's a caring man but he never asks too many questions, which suits me, and after yelling at me on the shuttlepod he's never criticized my bad habits anymore, except from one:

"I understand that we will reach the Arachnoid Nebula tomorrow, Commander." I told him yesterday. We were having lunch with Travis too, so I preferred to be formal.

"Malcolm, next time you call me Commander off-duty I'm goin' to take all the power from your beloved weapons!" he drawled back with a smile.

I can tell that he's trying to make me loosen up a bit, at least with him.

We will reach the Nebula in half an hour, so I'd better go now.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 35 , November 22, 2151**

That nebula is the most beautiful thing ever. It's even bigger than I expected and we will have some trouble charting it. Thankfully Tavin's ship is equipped with translinear sensors and he offered to help us; without those sensors the charting would take ten days to say the least. The Captain sent T'Pol on the Vahklas to monitor the data; I may be wrong but she didn't seem very happy with that. Probably she doesn't approve of their conduct and beliefs and doesn't wish to work with them.

From what I know, they are somewhat like outcasts because they have decided not to follow the Vulcan philosophy of logic but they are trying to match logic with emotion. They seem equilibrated and intelligent people to me, so I suppose they've succeeded. Anyway the most "conservative" Vulcans don't share their beliefs and so they left Vulcan.

Since my presence wasn't requested for the charting, I spent the morning I the Armoury doing some backlog work. Later I went in the mess hall, where I found Trip and his Vulcan friend, Kov.

"Am I interrupting anything?" I asked, approaching.  
>Kov told me to join them and we exchanged greetings. Apart from the pointy ears, he didn't seem so different from a human.<br>"We were just discussing Vulcan mating rituals. Most of my people are extremely uncomfortable talking about such things. So many inhibitions. Vulcan males are driven to mate once every seven years."  
>"Seven years?" Trip asked, bewildered.<br>"Frightening. " I stated, wondering how one could control emotions after seven years of abstinence.  
>They soon went back to work and I went to the bridge.<p>

The captain received a call from Admiral Forrest, I don't know why. Probably the Vulcan High Command knows that we've met the Vahklas and want to complain about that or to tell us what to do.

I had dinner with Trip. He seemed very amused by our reputation among the aliens:

"Kov believed us to eat six meals a day and to mate once in a year!" he told me with a laugh.

"If humans mated once in a year, I suppose we would've killed ourselves out of nervous tension." I snorted.

"But there'something else: he believed that football was about murdering the quarterback!" he went on.

"Oh? Sometimes I believe that too!" I joked, knowing that he fancies football.

"It's _not_. And I'm not goin' to play _cricket_ as you Brits do!" he replied with a laugh.

He seemed a bit worried, though, and I felt I had to overcome my usual reserve.

"Trip, I don't wish to intrude, but… is something bothering you?" I asked carefully.

"Actually, yes." He answered. I waited silently for him to go on.

"I have to talk to someone to give an advice but I don't know what to say or how he will react." He explained. I decided not to ask who that person was.

"If the advice is heartfelt, I don't see why that person should take offense." I answered quietly.

"You know, it's about a familiar matter and maybe he doesn't want to speak about that with me." He clarified.

"If someone doesn't wish to speak about his family, he tells you. Perhaps you could just approach the topic in a roundabout way and stop if you notice that he's uncomfortable." I proposed. Trip seemed to consider my words for a while.

"Yes, this sounds good. Thank you" he told me eventually.

"Never mind"

I wonder who that person is. Probably someone of the Engineering staff who has some personal issues.

Trip also told me that the repairs will be completed tomorrow in the afternoon, so we will soon say good-bye to our Vulcan friends. As usual, he does the repairs in two days while any other engineer would need a week.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 36, November 24, 2151**

Yesterday evening we bade good-bye to the Vahklas. Thanks to them we've been able to chart the whole Arachnoid Nebula.

I'm a little worried for T'Pol, though: when she came back from the Vulcan ship she seemed quite _perturbed_. Maybe Tavin and his fellows managed to scatter some of her beliefs. I just hope she's fine.

Trip, on the other hand, is quite happy. "I must thank you for your advice, Malcolm." He told me this morning during breakfast. "That talk went better than I expected."

"I'm pleased to hear that" I answered. I'm glad that I've been helpful.

And now movie night awaits me: will I survive to _Blade Runner_?


	17. Rogue Planet

**Starlog 37, December 1****st****, 2151**

We always manage to meet the strangest people _ever_.

This afternoon Trip entered the Bridge with his most cheerful smile and told the Captain to "get ready".

"What for?" the Captain asked back.

"Your picture for Starfleet Command!" Trip clarified. I smiled: the Captain had to send a picture of himself to Starfleet but he wasn't too happy with that.

"We couldn't do this in my Ready room?" he asked helplessly.  
>"Nah, the Captain's got to be in the Captain's chair. Tilt your chin up. " Trip answered. I could tell that he was having fun. He insisted for the Captain to lift his chin and turn his head while Captain Archer was growing more annoyed every moment.<br>"Why can't they just use a photo from my file?" he asked, standing.

Luckily for him, that very moment I detected a planet along our course. There were no stars nearby, so the planet was just a black and cold disc, but strangely enough we detected many lifeforms; T'Pol explained that they were next to the planet's interior, which was hot. I also picked up a power signature from the atmosphere and so we found out that there was a ship too down there. They didn't answer to our hails, so the Captain obviously decided to take a look. The man would never keep from getting into trouble!

While the Captain was distracted with the planet, Trip also managed to take a decent picture at least.

The planet was completely covered in vegetation like I had never seen before and we were having trouble finding a place to land.

"I used to say I could land a shuttlepod with my eyes closed." The Captain stated.

"Well, the proof's in the pudding, Captain." I answered playfully, and he turned to me with a smile. Eventually T'Pol found a very small clearing and the Captain managed to land there; he did a good job indeed.

Then I'm sorry I made a fool of myself.

"Follow me" I said, heading towards the alien vessel. I just wanted to make sure that no one got hurt.

"Why don't you let me play Captain for a while, Malcolm?" the Captain answered, slightly irritated. In all honesty, I was just trying to do my job.

"This reminds me of the rain forest in New Zealand. I earned my wilderness merit badge there." He went on.

"You were a Boy Scout, sir?" I asked, surprised.

"I was an Eagle Scout." He declared proudly.

"Oh, so was I." Scoutism is one of the few happy memories of my childhood – mostly because it allowed me to travel from home.

"Really? How many merit badges?" the Captain asked.

"Twenty eight. You?"

"Twenty six." Damn.

"Oh, that's not bad, sir." I said foolishly. I just didn't want to embarrass him.

We soon found a deserted campsite very next to the alien ship. T'Pol and I were checking the jungle around the campsite when two people came out from the vegetation, pointing weapons at us. We ran back to the campsite while the aliens fired back. Once there, we found the Captain talking quietly to one of those aliens.

They are called Eska and they apparently use the planet as a game reserve. I wasn't entirely convinced by this story – that weapons were far too elaborate for hunting and moreover I wondered how they had managed to avoid our sensors. I asked permission to join one of their hunts and they accepted, although begrudgingly.

So Trip and I brought Hoshi back to the Enterprise and now I'm getting ready for the hunt.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 38, December 2****nd****, 2151**

I was right.

When we got back to the campsite the Eska advised us to take some sleep; they clearly hoped that I had changed my mind about following them.

I had just fallen asleep when I heard the Captain's voice calling me; apparently he had seen a blond woman dressed in a _nightgown_. Obviously there were no women around and I supposed that the Captain just dreamt her. But this sounded fishy to me because the Captain is certainly not one who imagines things. Confused, we went back to bed, but I must say that I wasn't able to sleep properly, waking up at every slightest sound.

Some hours later we got ready for the hunt. They prevented me from looking closely at their scanners and tried again to dissuade me from taking part to the hunt:

"We saw a pack of fire wolves yesterday about six kilometers from here. It's a difficult hike." One of them pointed out.

"I'll try to keep up." I answered. I didn't understand: if they didn't want me to follow them, couldn't just they say "no"?

Once in the forest we ran into a furry, four- legged animal resembling a hog that they called "Drayjin" but she soon disappeared from our sight. And then the most incredible thing happened: in front of me a rock turned into a giant slug. Damrus and Burzaan, two of the Eska, called that thing "Wraith" and moved off to pursue it while Shiraht and I took another path. I got the clear impression that they didn't want me to see that "Wraith" again.

Soon we heard a loud cry and we ran, following the voice, until we reached Damrus and Burzaan; the latter had apparently been hurt by a Drayjin and was loosing quite a lot of blood. We managed to bring him back to the campsite, where the Captain offered to have Doctor Phlox treat him and they grudgingly accepted. Trip and I brought them on the Enterprise. Doctor Phlox synthesized the blood for a transfusion and reassured Trip that the Eska was going to recover very soon.

Later Trip went to visit me in the Armoury, bewildered:

"There's something… weird about them." He started.

"I agree. What are you referring to?" I asked.

"The Doc says that Drayjin was something like a mutant. Her genome is trying to shift to another species." He clarified.

A mutant? "Maybe she can turn into a woman too…" I proposed.

"Yeah, I think this explains well why the Captain saw a woman in the woods…"

"I suppose they are aware of this particular." I said.

When the Captain came back we informed him of our findings but he already knew. Apparently the Eska had told him about this shape-shifters, even if I still can't imagine why. Probably they knew that the Captain wouldn't have left the planet without having found an explanation for his visions.

"They know damn well what they're doing." He said bitterly.  
>"I find this as distasteful as you do, Captain. I'm just not sure how we can stop them. " T'Pol cut in, and I had to agree with her.<br>"They're well armed and they know the terrain. I wouldn't want to try and take their weapons from them." I explained.

Since the Eska were able to pick up the Wraith from its chemical signature, the Captain proposed to alter this signature with Doctor Phlox's help. This was a really brilliant idea and our good Doctor soon found out a way to mask the signature. The Eska will leave empty-handed this time and the Captain told us that they weren't happy at all with that.

I don't know why the hell one should travel to an alien planet and kill some sentient being who has done no harm to you – and all just for the sake of killing it! I don't know what comes over people sometimes…


	18. Acquisition

**Author's Note: since Malcolm doesn't actually have a role in this story I decided to add a brief starlog about Christmas… it's been on my mind since Christmas actually… =D **

**Starlog 39, December 23, 2151**

Enterprise is getting ready for its first Christmas. Obviously not all crewmembers use to celebrate Christmas but many of us do.

I must admit that I have never cared that much about the festivities but that was mostly because my family didn't succeed in making them happy. I feel that on the Enterprise Christmas will be different though.

"What's on movie night this evening?" I asked Trip while we were having lunch.

"I haven't decided yet" he grimaced "On Christmas you need something nice and merry but nothing comes to my mind".

I thought briefly. The movie needed to be cheerful and possibly fun but not too silly or too romantic. I didn't know what to suggest because I'm not that expert about cinema while Trip is a real filmgoer. Then something came into my mind:

"What about _Arsenic and Old Lace_? It's funny and it would satisfy your penchant for macabre." I suggested.

After a moment his expression brightened: "And the bad guy's name's _Jonathan_! You're a _genius_, Malcolm!" he concluded, slapping me on the back. I honestly hadn't thought about the Jonathan-thing, though.

With his usual impertinence, Trip personally invited the Captain to movie night.

"You know I never miss it, Trip!" the Captain answered with a smile.

"We'll watch _Arsenic and Old Lace_, Captain" Trip explained merrily.

"I've never seen it"

"Oh, then you'll definitely find it _entertaining_!" Trip assured with a wicked smile.

I've just come back from movie night and it was quite entertaining; I hadn't watched that movie in centuries and moreover the Captain's expression when he heard the bad guy's name was _priceless_. He turned slowly to Trip, who was sitting beside me, and smiling threatened to punch him on the nose.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 40, December 25, 2151**

A nice day, especially compared to what I was used to in my family. The crewmembers who don't celebrate Christmas offered to take our shifts, so we had very little work to do.

I must say that the cook made an incredibly good job with the food, preparing traditional Christmas dishes from many different countries. I felt slightly uneasy only when everyone started to talk about happy Christmas memories because I had actually nothing happy to remember.

In the afternoon, ignoring Trip's protests, I went in the Armoury for a couple of hours: I am the Security Officer after all and I can't leave the ship defenceless just because it's Christmas. I had nothing to worry about, though; Ensign Youssou had done a good job and everything was in order.

In the evening I called my sister.

"Is that really you?" she joked.

"Yes. I'm sorry I haven't called in centuries" I answered.

"Never mind. How are you doing?"

We chatted for a while about our adventures and about her work, then she asked me:

"And how's Ensign Sato?"

"She's fine" I answered automatically, before remembering that my sister didn't know Hoshi at all.

"And how on Earth do you know her, Madeline?" I asked, bewildered.

"Uhm… it has something to do with your birthday, actually!" she said with a smile.

The Captain had told me that he had spoken with my parents on that occasion, but I didn't know that Hoshi had spoken with my sister too. I'm still surprised that they would go to such a trouble just for me.

I called my Aunt Sherry as well. Apart from my sister, she's the only member of my family that I truly miss. She was very happy to hear me and, as usual, she told me to eat a little more. "You are quite pale, my dear. You actually seem malnourished".

Then I gathered the strength to call my parents. Our conversation lasted for something like two minutes, just to make them sure that I was still alive and vice versa. Again, they didn't ask a single question about my work and our mission and I sighed with relief when our conversation ended.

All things considered, though, it's been a happy Christmas. And now, without telling anyone, I'm going to watch _The Muppet Christmas Carol_.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 41, December 27, 2151**

One can never relax on this ship.

I woke up with an horrendous headache and –strangest thing of all – I was lying on the Armoury's _floor_. Turning my head, I noticed Trip bending over me, a hypospry in his hands, and I instantly jumped up.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.

"Now it's all right. We've had some trouble though" he answered. He was calm, so I supposed that everything was actually well.

"What kind of trouble?" I asked while he helped me getting on my feet. I felt something weak but I managed.

"Pirates. They're called Ferengi." He explained. I had never heard this name.

"And who the hell are they?"

"I honestly don't know. They knocked us all out with some type of device that I wasn't able to see and they started ransacking the ship." Trip went on.

"And now where are they?"

"They are going to put our belongings back to their place, then they will leave."

Something was missing: "How the hell did you manage to defeat them if we were knocked out?"

"Because I was in the decontamination room and they had forgotten or didn't know about it." He explained.

"But is everyone OK?" I asked.

"Yeah. They weren't nasty people… just thieves."

I want to get some information about them and then I will make some modifications in the Armoury. We _can't_ let pirates knock us out and board on our ship! And while they ransacked the ship the Security Officer was asleep on the floor!

"Don't worry, Malcolm. The Captain's goin' to inform the Vulcan High Command and Starfleet too and they will keep their eyes open."

With both the High Command and Starfleet on their tails, I knew that the Ferengi wouldn't bother us for quite a while.

"Well, let's see the bright side of this story" I declared.

"You? _Bright side_?" Trip repeated with a smile. He sometimes indulges in calling me a pessimist, although affectionately.

"Yes. We're lucky that they didn't come on Christmas Day!" I explained, and he burst out laughing.

"Well, let's have something to eat. Hoping that they've not stolen the pudding as well" he said.

Thankfully, the pudding was still there.


	19. Oasis

**Sorry for the extremely late update, I've been really busy lately…**

**Oasis**

**Starlog 42, January 3rd, 2152**

Trip spent the last week complaining with the Captain because we lack raw duratanium and dilithium ore:

"Are you expectin' me to keep this ship on the road by _pedaling_, Cap'n?" he drawled some days ago. And them I'm the one who complains about the equipment. We met a trading ship but sadly they only dealt in textiles and spices. Anyway, Captain Archer invited the ship's Captain, D'Marr, for lunch, hoping to get some useful information. And he _did_ get them.

"D'Marr says there's a small system near to our current position." Trip informed me after lunch. He was with the Captain as well.

"Any inhabited planets?" I asked.

"No. But he says that some time ago there was a ship crashed into one of the planets."

"Mm, that sounds nice!" I snorted.

"According to D'Marr there are ghosts on the ship, it's haunted." Trip explained with a laugh.

"I hope we're not going there, Trip!" I pointed out sternly.

"Why not? We need that materials and moreover we could take a look at that ship!"

_Of course_. And moreover we could get ourselves _killed_.

"Trip, maybe that ship's owner or ghost or whatever doesn't want to be disturbed. We are getting ourselves into another trouble."

"Oh, Mal, don't be scared. It's not Halloween after all!" he joked.

"No, I'm serious. And don't call me Mal _ever_."

"OK. But seriously, you shouldn't worry. There aren't biosigns and D'Marr's crew was probably too impressionable".

**Starlog 43, January 5****th****, 2152**

And they said that there weren't _biosigns_ on that ship!

But let's start from the beginning; after D'Marr's revelations we immediately changed our course and this morning we reached the planet.

At least I was not the only doubtful one; Travis pointed out that the ship could've been full of corpses from what we knew and that maybe landing was not a good idea. But of course Trip told him not to worry and they went out while I remained in charge on the Enterprise.

They came back a couple of hours later telling the most incredible of the stories: there was a colony on that ship!

"They are called Kantares" the Captain told me "Years ago they were attacked by some unknown aliens and they were forced to land next to that planet. They weren't able to repair the engine, thus they live there from the attack."

"But when did this happen?" I asked.

"About three years ago."

"Why didn't they send a distress call and why weren't we able to detect them?"

"They are hidden by a dampening field and haven't sent any distress call because they feared the aliens could've come back." The Captain explained. This story didn't quite persuade me but I decided to investigate further rather than saying nonsense. Meanwhile Trip is still on the alien vessel, trying to repair their engine.

And I soon found out something interesting. The ship's skull only presented impact damage but no signs of weapon fire. The airpionics bay was too small to feed all of them and moreover one doesn't hide for three years out of fear for the aliens. When I asked these questions to the Captain he had Hoshi download their data module and translate it as soon as possible.

**Starlog 44, January 7****th****, 2152**

Next time they tell me not to worry, I'm going to punch someone, I swear.

Yesterday Hoshi was able to translate the alien data module and we found out that they hadn't been attacked: their vessel had crashed because of a malfunction.

"Run some scans of that ship, Malcolm. I think something is missing" the Captain told me.

It took me a couple of hours but I finally found something strange; the ship's hull plating oxidation was excessive, thus the vessel was there from a lot more than three years. Actually it was there from about twenty-two years. I also found out that they had launched some escape pods; we were able to find one of them and tried to bring it on the Enterprise.

I've been incredibly stupid; I should've checked it before. But I just didn't think they could have lied about that matter and I didn't understand why the hell they were lying. It was not as if they were doing something wrong!

Of course Trip had managed to get in touch with one of the aliens – a _female_ one. He couldn't believe it when we told him about our findings. The Captain asked him to talk to his _friend_ Liana, hoping to gain some information.

Meanwhile we managed to get that escape pod on the ship; one could tell that I'm gruesome, but inside it we found exactly what I expected to find, that is to say a corpse.

But Trip looked at it, bewildered: "It's Shilat. I saw him on their ship an hour ago. Alive". We were just not understanding a damn thing.

At lunch Trip tried his best to get something out of Liana, but nothing. Eventually she asked us to take her home.

When we landed on the alien vessel, it was obvious that something was wrong.

"Find T'Pol. I'm going to go talk to the captain." Captain Archer told me.  
>"I think it would be better if we stay together, sir." I pointed out, but clearly the man was not listening to me.<br>"You don't have to do this. You're not in any danger here." Liana said with a sorry voice.  
>"That'd be easier to believe if you weren't hiding things from us." The captain growled back.<p>

That very moment two of the aliens appeared in front of us. They refused to give us any answer and they ordered Captain Archer and me to go back on the Enterprise. Not knowing what the hell was going on, we had to oblige and the Captain told me to have a Security Team ready as soon as possible.

"We could get into the ship through one of their escape pod ports, Captain. Since they have that dampening field, we can do nothing but using the shuttle. Transporter is off-limits." I proposed.

"That's a good idea. The escape pod ports are just next to Engineering, where we should find T'Pol and Trip" he answered.

We got into the ship easily but soon we were confronted by the aliens and I was shot in the back. And when we tried to fire back we found out that our shots passed through the aliens' bodies. We tried to run away but Shilat tackled us; I was hurting like hell and I didn't know what to do when the alien disappeared all of a sudden. They all disappeared except from Ezral and Liana.

"I think we deserve and explanation" Captain Archer told Ezral.

Ezral told us that the ship had been crashed by an ion storm. Ezral was the Chief Engineer and the crew died because he left his station to save his daughter – Liana. For two years, he tried unsuccessfully to repair the ship, then he created holograms of the late crewmembers so that his daughter wouldn't have grown up alone. I just can't imagine how it must have felt for him – to let his crewmen, his friends, his wife die, to have to choose between his daughter and them, to know you will be guilty no matter what your decision is. I don't think I could live with that.

Trip was growing more irritated with every word Ezral said. He burst out telling him that his daughter deserved more, that they could've told us the truth, asking him what his daughter would've done after his death and so on. And even if he hasn't been very tactful I must admit that I agreed with him. We're lucky that he befriended Liana because it was she who made the holograms disappear.

Eventually Ezral decided to accept our help and we will get their ship flying soon. To be honest, I don't know how they will manage, having been so alone for such a long time.

"I'm sorry that you were shot, Malcolm." Trip told me a couple of hours ago. But he doesn't need to worry, it's better than it seems.

"Never mind, I'm still alive. I should be the one thanking you because you always manage to befriend someone. And strange enough, it's always a beautiful young lady." I joked.

"That's why I'm the most beautiful man ever" he joked back, smiling.

"If you say so, Commander." I replied with a snort.


	20. Detained

**Detained**

**Sorry about the delay but I've been busy with my work lately…**

**Starlog 45, January 14, 2152**

I wonder why he's taken a security officer on board if he's never going to listen to him. I'm speaking about the Captain, of course.

He and Travis went to investigate a small asteroid field with the shuttlepod – he just _couldn't _take a security officer or something like that – and they were attacked. And thank God, they at least managed to follow my security protocols this time so we immediately found out that something was wrong.

"I'm not picking them up anymore" Hoshi told me anxiously on the Bridge while I was in charge.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The shuttlepod is just… not on screen"

"Hail them."

She tried many times but they didn't answer.

"Sub-Commander T'Pol please come to the Bridge as soon as possible" I said in the comm.

"What's going on, Lieutenant?" she asked a minute later, entering the Bridge. I explained the problem to her and together we tried to locate the shuttlepod and their biosigns but nothing.

One couldn't imagine how much worried I was. I didn't know where the hell they were, whether they were still alive or not. And moreover, I was on the Bridge on that moment, I was responsible for them even more than usual. We spent three hours like that and I don't remember feeling so tense and concerned in my entire life.

Trip was just trying another way to locate the shuttlepod when, thanks God, someone hailed us. Too bad that he introduced himself as "Colonel Grat, in charge of the Tandaran prison camp." _Great_.

Apparently they had entered a Tandaran military installation.

The colonel briefly explained that they had been mistook for Sulibans but that they were probably going to be released very soon since the DNA test had proved them to be human. Anyway, they will have to appear before a magistrate on Tandar Prime.

"I'm afraid that I don't have the authority to release them now, for I know very well that this is just a misunderstanding." he told T'Pol.

"I'd like to speak with them." T'Pol told him.

He replied that it was against regulations but that they were well and we shouldn't be worried for them. If

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather hear that from the Captain." Trip insisted. I could see that he didn't trust that man.  
>"I'm afraid that's not possible." The Colonel answered quietly. He then assured that we will be allowed to attend the hearing and that they will have a regular legal representation. We will be contacted by the Central Magistrate Office upon our arrival.<p>

After this speech, the Colonel disappeared and we weren't able to locate him.

I don't know why but I can't feel reassured. I'm afraid things are more complicated than they seem. And for once Trip shares my pessimism:

"Whenever I hear the word 'Suliban' I begin to worry" he told me during lunch "I just hope they're well".

"I should've been with them." I couldn't help but saying it.

"Of course. A detained tactical officer is definitely useful!" he replied sarcastically.

"This is _not_ funny. The Captain, as much as I admire him, can't understand that I'm the one who should take the risks, not him!" I snapped back.

"Easy, Malcolm" Trip soothed "I know that you take your job very seriously. I'm merely sayin' that you're more useful to the ship and crew when you're not detained, that's it."

"I should at least be able to trace their signal. Maybe there's something I could do about it but I need your counsel." I told him, and so we discussed for a while about my idea.

Addition:

Of _course_. Why must he always behave like superhero?

The Colonel called to inform us that the hearing has been postponed for nonsense reasons. He was very polite but I still didn't trust him, there's nothing I can do about it. At least I was able to trace their carrier frequency, thanks to Trip's help.

While we were en route to the prison, T'Pol called a meeting with the senior officers in the ready room:

"We will obviously not land on the planet once there." she started.

"Just bein' there will not help them that much!" Trip snapped almost immediately. She merely looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't say that we will not help them but that we will not land. We have to find a way to do so." She answered quietly.

"We could send them a communicator with the transporter." I suggested "If we find out that they're alone we will pick them up."

Trip nodded his approval and T'Pol said "This seems the wisest course of action."

We transported the communicator and soon we heard the Captain's voice: I sighed with relief, at least he was well.

"I'm getting a transporter lock on you now, Captain. Just say the word and we'll bring you both home." Trip drawled. We had to act quickly or we would've been detected.

But the Captain answered: "Hang on, Trip. We're not ready to leave just yet". Then he explained that the Suliban prisoners detained in that jail were innocent, that he wanted to help them. I agreed about helping them but it wasn't necessary for him to stay on the planet to help them!

Anyway, the Captain didn't change his mind (obviously) and told us that he already had a plan, thanks to a Suliban he had met in prison, and that he just needed our help.

Now I have to get ready.

**Starlog 46, January 15****th****, 2152**

We disguised into Sulibans and got there, simply. Doctor Phlox made a very good job with our disguise.

"If you beam me down I will be immediately detected." I told Trip.

"We'll need to jam their frequencies, I suppose Hoshi can take care of that" he answered.

"I'll find something to distract them with, don't worry. But I won't be able to trick them for a long time, so you'll have to hurry" Hoshi answered.

The plan went surprisingly well. T'Pol and Hoshi distracted them transmitting some charts and databases, so Trip was able to beam me down.

Once there, I immediately searched for Travis. I eventually found his room, knocked and entered:

"Yes?" he asked, surprised. He hadn't recognized me.

"I understand you're looking for a way out of here."

"Who are you?"

"Don't you recognize me, Travis?" I asked, and after a moment his expression brightened.

"Malcolm?"

"In the flesh." He didn't look good and it seemed to me that he had been beaten up. Later I found out that I was correct. I gave him a phase pistol and went on with my plan. But suddenly guards started one of their nightly inspections – out of time, obviously.

I hailed Enterprise and told them to speed things up, then I placed the charges as quickly as I could. Thankfully, it worked.

While the prison's walls exploded and the Suliban prisoners escaped, I searched for the Captain. Eventually I found him: upon seeing me he grabbed me by the sleeved and pushed me to the wall, but then it took him just a look to recognize me.

"It's good to see you, Malcolm." He told me confidently.

"How'd you know it was me?" I still don't understand. My disguise was great!

As soon as we got out I was obviously knocked out by Grat, the military we had spoken with on the Enterprise. I woke up just in time to ram him before he shot the Captain. We closed him in the jail and finally went to the shuttlepod, alive and well. We also knew that the Suliban vessels were breaking the orbit.

I still ask myself where are those Sulibans now, if they'll be all right. Both Travis and the Captain share my worries, even if the Captain thinks it's been a good idea to free them nonetheless. I agree, but what will they do now? Is there a hope for them or will they keep being someone else's hostage?


	21. Vox Sola

**Starlog 47, February 1****st****, 2152**

Oh my, these Kreetassans are quite touchy people!

We met them yesterday and they seemed nice people even if a bit aloof, so the Captain decided to have them visit our ship. They were so quiet and polite that I myself didn't complain about their visit even if we had just met them.

Everything went well for a while: they visited Engineering, the observation deck and Doctor Phlox' sickbay (wild animals included): they just observed and made polite, discreet questions.

Then they went to the mess hall and something changed their mood. They left the ship, disgusted, despite the Captain's prayers. We still don't know what the hell happened because the universal translator wasn't functioning properly and Hoshi obviously hadn't had the time to learn their language.

So now everyone is in a bad mood, included T'Pol. The Captain is in his quarters and it would be wise not to disturb him for the next few hours.

I really can't understand what could've happened in the Mess Hall.

I think sometimes T'Pol should learn to shut her mouth. I stumbled upon Hoshi some hours ago and she was still fuming because T'Pol almost told her the incident was her fault.

"Try to learn from failure. It could help your next first contact be more successful." She said, mocking T'Pol's detached voice.

"Don't think about her. You know how useful you are for us." I tried to cheer her like this and she smiled and thanked me, but obviously she was still upset. Hoshi's very insecure (more than me actually) and people reprimanding her when she's not even guilty it's not good for her.

I had lunch with her and Travis and we discussed about the incident:

"What if they just don't like being touched? Remember how uncomfortable they looked when the Captain tried to shake their hands?" Travis enquired.  
>"They looked that way the entire time. Besides, they didn't really lose their temper until they arrived here in the mess hall." I answered.<br>"Are you staying for the movie tonight?" he asked. Trip keeps entertaining us with his twisted taste for movies.  
>"What's playing?" I asked, suspicious.<br>"Wages of fear. Classic French film." It sounded like another horror film, so I snorted "No, you'll like it. Things blow up." Travis reassured, noticing my expression. I like when things blow up.  
>"Oh, sounds fun. Hoshi?"<br>"No, thanks. I'm turning in early." She answered. She was clearly still depressed over the incident.  
>"We might need a translator. Those subtitles go by pretty fast." I insisted. Actually I can speak French (not as well as she can anyway) but I just wanted to lighten her mood. But I'm afraid I just worsened it.<br>"I've had enough language problems for one day." She said standing. I've been a fool.

Now I must hurry up or the movie will begin without me.

**Starlog 48, February 4****th****, 2152**

It's over, thank God. But still, I'm a complete idiot.

It all started with the movie: when the screen came on we could only watch images from Sickbay and the Situation Room instead of the movie. I called the Bridge but they didn't know what the hell was going on.

We were still trying to resolve the problem when I got a call from the Captain:

"Malcolm, come to Cargo Bay Two immediately. There's an unidentified life form here." he urged.

I told Serrano to come with me and we got to Cargo Bay Two as quickly as we could.

I entered first and I immediately saw crewman Kelly wrapped in a huge white filament. Upon seeing us the creature tightened its hold around her. Apparently it was disturbed by our lights because it lessened its hold as soon as we lowered our torch.

Thankfully Kelly was still alive but she was not the only one trapped there: Mike Rostov was trapped as well. When he saw us he told us to leave but it was too late: the creature grabbed the Captain first, then Trip and then Serrano as well.

"Get out of here! Go!" Trip screamed, and I went out quickly, closing the door behind my back, cutting one of its tentacles in the process.

I'm still so very ashamed of leaving. I thought that, had I been trapped, no one would've known of us being there, but still.

I immediately called for T'Pol and we met in the Situation Room, along with the remaining superior officers. I advised to evacuate the entire deck as a precaution and Travis suggested that maybe the Kreetassans had left that being out of rage, so T'Pol decided to try and contact them again.

Doctor Phlox examined the tentacle I had inadvertently cut – his penchant for strange creatures doesn't stop even in front of such a danger. He found out that the creature was capable of superior mental functions.

And then I was an idiot.

"If it's intelligent maybe we can communicate with it. The frequency distortions, they look a lot like the phonetic patterns in certain Andorian dialects." Hoshi pointed out.  
>"With all due respect, Hoshi, we're not talking about nouns and verbs here. It could take you days to learn a language like that, even if it is one." It went out harsher than I wanted it to be. I didn't want to say that Hoshi isn't good at her work or that languages are rubbish but just that we were in a hurry.<br>"What other choice do we have? Give me a chance." She retorted, sounding hurt.  
>T'Pol agreed with me and the doctor informed us that the creature was highly photosensitive and that maybe EM radiations could've stunned it, so I went to assemble some EM emitters.<p>

On that moment I didn't think about what I was going to do. It seemed just normal to stun an aggressive alien who threatened my fellow officers' and crewmen's life. I didn't realize what I was actually _doing_.

When we started firing with our emitters it was quite obvious that it was working – the creature was disturbed. But instead of being stunned it started tightening its hold on our men even more, so much that they screamed in pain. Doctor Phlox soon told me to shut the emitters off and after that T'Pol told me to withdraw. I went away knowing that at least they were still alive and well – until my arrival.

The doctor explained that our men's nervous system was linked with the creature's one, something like a symbiosis. They were slowly melting with the creature and we had to divide them as soon as possible – and without hurting the being.

T'Pol told Hoshi to start working on the language but I felt that it would've taken too much time and I tried to follow another path. First of all, I suggested to create a force field to contain the creature before it could invade the whole ship. T'Pol approved my idea and told me to hurry, which I did; I only had a prototype of that field but I worked as quickly as I haven't done in my entire life. I don't think I would've been able to work like that without that fear.

I needed to assess the creature's sensitivity to bioelectric stress so I went to see Doctor Phlox – and I was an idiot again. Partly it was because the Doctor had spoken of that creature with his usual detached, naturalistic attitude and I was annoyed about that.

Since the tentacle was still alive I told the Doctor that I wanted to perform some tests on it.  
>"What kind of tests?" he asked.<p>

"I need to determine how much bioelectric stress it can tolerate." I answered.  
>"May I ask why?" he asked again.<br>"I'm trying to create a force field to isolate the cargo bay, but if it's going to work, I have to calculate how much of a jolt it will take to repel the organism without killing it or any of the people it's taken." I explained. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to me, but the Doctor felt different and he refused to let me test the tentacle like that because that was actually an intelligent being.  
>He told me that I could've gained the information I needed another way with a microcellular analysis.<br>"How long would that take?"  
>"Less than an hour." He answered, but it was too much for me.<br>"In less than an hour that thing could spread across half a deck."  
>The doctor insisted that he didn't want to torture an organism and that we couldn't be certain of its intentions against us. But this wasn't something I could discuss at the moment.<br>"I admire your interspecies ethics, but until Hoshi tells me she's found a way to communicate with it, I have to assume its intentions are hostile. Now, if you don't mind." I said, again more harshly than I intended.  
>"If you want information to help you construct your force field, you'll acquire it under my supervision." He said quietly. The man is quite sweet but headstrong.<br>"I'm sure I don't have to remind you, Doctor, I am the ranking officer here." I pulled out like a complete idiot but I didn't know what else to do to persuade him. He, though, wasn't impressed:  
>"Not in my Sickbay, unless the Captain says otherwise."<br>"The Captain is in no condition to offer an opinion." I retorted.  
>"Precisely." He said defiantly. I understood that he really wouldn't have let me do it, so I had to accept his conditions.<br>"Fine. Your rules, but we'd better get to it."

And it worked, it didn't even take a long time.

"We needed very little time to get those information, as you can see." Phlox said with quiet voice.

Only then I realized what an idiot I had been all the time. I had gone to sickbay to _torture_ a sentient life form without even bothering to ask if there was another way. Just because it didn't have eyes to show its real soul or a voice to show its pain and its thoughts, I had felt free to treat it like an object.

"Doctor, I must apologize for being so rude." I told him.

"You are under a great stress. Apologies accepted." he answered with one of his ominous smiles "And moreover… I have observed that Humans tend to become irrational whenever they feel guilty." he added softly. And then I also realized that he had hit the target but I couldn't bring myself to answer.

My staff and I had very little time to run our scans. T'Pol and Hoshi had managed to understand the creature's language and to create a translator and I still don't understand how they did it.

Thankfully the force field worked and we could approach the creature. Hoshi started "talking" to it and we found out that it simply wanted to go back home – it had inadvertently landed on the Kretassans' ship some time before and so it had gotten to our ship.

When Hoshi told it we would've brought her back it slowly unwrapped our men; they needed some simple medical care but they're all well.

I'm not proud of myself, not at all. Doctor Phlox, T'Pol and especially Hoshi can be happy with their selves but I can't. I behaved like an idiot from the first moment and I think I know why.

After bringing the creature on its planet I went to check on Trip, still nervous about hurting him with the emitters.

"Come in!- he gestured with a smile. At least I knew he wasn't mad at me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked worriedly.

"To quote you, 'I'm fine'. But _I _mean it." he smiled.

"I apologize for hurting you. I wasn't aware of the consequences." I said shamefully.

"Never mind. The creature was photosensitive… anyone else would've done the same. You couldn't know."

Instead I could've known. I tried to hide my discomfort but Trip perceived it nonetheless.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Malcolm, please. I know that look. What's wrong?" the man will never let you be.

"I wanted to save you at any cost." I started.

"You bet it! We were trapped!" he retorted.

"It's not that. I made things… and took decisions… too hurriedly because I wanted to take you out of there." I confessed. It was hard for me to open up like that but I needed to be honest, to face the problem.

"If you're talking about the radiations, I've already told you…" he began, but I interrupted him.

"This wasn't the only rash decision."

"Given the situation, it's only normal that you were in a hurry. That being almost killed us, of course you were!" he said soothingly.

"You don't understand the problem" I murmured.

"Then tell me what the actual problem is. Spit it out!" he coaxed.

It's not easy for me to open up, even to Trip. I feel almost naked, defenseless. But again I couldn't restrain myself with him and I broke: "The problem is that the creature took you while I escaped. I failed to protect you, Commander. And after that I acted hurriedly because of my fault, because I was responsible."

"Malcolm, you didn't fail." he told me very gently "Had the creature trapped you as well, would that have been of any use for us? Tell me."

"No." I answered "But I had to be trapped in your place. Instead it trapped you and I failed."

" How many times will we need to have this conversation before you get it? We were next to it, you couldn't prevent it from taking us, you couldn't take our place! Hell, it almost trapped you as well!"

I listened to him, my eyes looking at the floor.

"I know you feel responsible for all of us. But you didn't fail and you definitely have no reason to feel guilty. Got it?" he said matter-of-factly.

I smiled slightly: "Thank you, Commander."

"Malcolm. We-are-off-duty. It's-Trip." He chanted raising his eyes to the heavens. I had to laugh at that.

"Care to join me for dinner, Malcolm? It seems to me you need to be fed as well."

I hadn't imagined that a real friendship could be so wonderful.


	22. Fallen Hero

**Fallen Hero**

**Starlog 49, February 7, 2152**

It seems we'll soon have some shore leave! It was time, after almost a year we really should take a break. It was Trip who brought me this news at lunch.

With an immensely amused expression he put the tray on the table and sat in front of me, almost laughing.

"Please make me laugh at well. To quote you, I worked like a mule this morning."

He laughed out loud: "According to T'Pol we lack sexual activity. And that's why the ship's efficiency has decreased."

The thought of T'Pol saying such a thing made me laugh as well. "And I suppose she's offered a solution to our _problem_ as well!" I answered.

"Yeah. Shore leave." He muttered while eating his salad "She's found a planet called Risa whose inhabitants are very good at… er, I believe she said _easing tension_." He laughed again so that he almost choked himself.

"This sounds good. But someone will need to stay on the Enterprise…"

"The Captain's thought about that as well. They'll be chosen by lot."

"Considering my well-known luck I think I'll stay right here…" I mumbled.

"Oh, Malcolm! Don't be your usual pessimistic self! I believe we'll both be in the away team" he smiled. Always the optimistic one.

"Thinking about that… if we're both in the away team we could go on shore leave together!"

That sounded nice. I suppose it's not enjoyable to be all alone on an unknown planet unless you have something to do.

"I appreciate the offer, thank you" I told him.

_I need to relax._

**Starlog 50, February 9, 2151**

_Of course_. Starfleet summoned us just when we were about to leave the ship. The good thing is, I'm in the _away team_ and I will enjoy my shore leave, even if I don't know when.

It seems that we have to escort a Vulcan ambassador back to her planet. I don't understand why the hell the Vulcans asked us to go rather than coming here themselves since their starships are so _faster_ than our ones!

Moreover T'Pol has been fussing about how we should behave with her, as if she was our mother! _Don't eat too much at Ms. Murphy's tea or she'll think that you have no decency at all! _I could almost hear my mother's voice in my head!

Addition: of _course_ they do never tell us everything. And then they say that Vulcans never lie!

When the Captain spoke with the Mazarite officer who was responsible for the Ambassador's transfer we were informed that she had to leave the planet because she's a criminal!

"V'Lar has been expelled for abuse of her position and criminal misconduct." The officer said, leaving us – and T'Pol as well – quite surprised. Our pointy _friends_ could have told us, we would've gone to pick her up nonetheless; I just don't understand what comes over them sometimes.

I could see that the Captain wasn't happy at all with the news and before the Ambassador's arrival I requested to have a word with him.

"How can I help you?" he asked me with a smile once we were in his ready room. No matter how angry he may be at someone else, he won't let his mood interfere with his behaviour towards the crew.

"Sir, as a security officer I would like to know it in advance when a criminal is going to come on board and moreover to be under our protection." I told him.

"I can assure you, Malcolm, that I wasn't aware of this particular situation. Otherwise I would've told you, of course."

"No, sir, I'm not implying that you kept information from me. I'm merely stating that the Vulcans kept information from us and that this attitude could be dangerous, other than unfair. It could jeopardize the ship's security, which is under my responsibility."

He sighed: "I'm not happy with their behaviour too, Malcolm. I'll have a word with Admiral Forest as soon as possible and I'll let him know about your considerations, that I share."

"Thank you, Sir."

-o- -o- -o-

**Starlog 51, February 10, 2152**

V'Lar, the Ambassador, arrived yesterday and she's not quite as we expected her to be. If she hadn't those pointy ears she could very well be mistaken for a Human.

The Captain welcomed her warmly, regardless of what the Mazarites told us about her; Trip, who had dinner with her along with the Captain and T'Pol, told me she shook hands, made some attempts at humour and generally didn't behave like a Vulcan.

"T'Pol was so angry that she was barely controllin' herself!" Trip exclaimed with a laugh. "Of course, she was her usual Vulcan self, but I can tell she wasn't happy at all with V'Lar."

"Did she speak about the Mazarites?"

"T'Pol asked how will she defend herself. The Ambassador replied that there's no defense and T'Pol asked her if she was admitting she's guilty."

I almost gasped: that's not typical T'Pol. She wasn't this harsh even when we found out about P'Jem.

"The Captain tried to stop the discussion" Trip went on "but V'Lar said it was all right and that she was expectin' some questions. Soon she went to her quarters and T'Pol accompanied her. I bet they're still talking."

"What does the Captain think about this?"

"He's very confused by T'Pol's behaviour, I think he'll have a word with her."

"We'll see. I would really like to know what happened with the Mazarites and why she has been sent away." I murmured.

"Ask Soval for that. He'll answer to all of your questions, I'm sure." Trip snorted.

And now let's go to work.

-O- -O- -O-

**Starlog 52, February 11, 2152**

Next time Soval asks for a favour we should remember to say "no". Stupid Vulcans.

Yesterday we got a call from a Mazarite ship: they wanted the Ambassador back because the magistrate wanted to interrogate her further. The Captain tried to contact Starfleet but the Mazarites were jamming our frequencies.

And then, obviously, they charged weapons. They shot us and for some reason I wasn't able to return fire: I think they had some kind of energy shielding we're not aware of.

"Would the phase cannons be more effective?" the Captain asked me.

"Undoubtedly, but we can't fire them at warp." I answered.

"What do you mean, we can't fire them at warp?"

"Particle discharge, sir. It would destabilize our warp field and most likely blow out both our nacelles. I've been working on the problem, but I haven't quite…" I explained. This kind of things happen when you leave Earth before being ready.

"Drop to impulse. Deploy the aft cannon." The Captain ordered.

"I've got a lock."

"Fire."

"Their shields are failing." This time I hit them. I was worried because at impulse the ship was far more slow and vulnerable but eventually I managed.

"See what you can do about their engines." The Captain said, satisfied.

"They're dead in the water, sir." I answered smugly but inwardly I cursed. This is exactly why you cannot take a criminal on your ship without knowing it!

Our victory didn't last long: we returned to warp and we went away as quickly as possible. The Captain was visibly angry and he went to talk with V'Las.

"I thought this mission was about peaceful exploration." Trip grimaced while he helped me with the power couplings. They had been destroyed to say the least.

"I need something to do on this ship, Commander." I pointed out. Strangely he didn't insult me for not using his nickname.

"Fair enough. I'm just hoping we don't keep you quite so busy. I read those Nuvian masseuses have twelve fingers on each hand."

"Then I'd say Starfleet needs to make its presence known on Risa." I answered dreamily, thinking about our future shore leave.

After his talk with V'Lar the Captain at first ordered to reverse course: we were going back to Mazar. But later he changed his mind, I still don't know why. Maybe he got a call from Starfleet.

But soon our dearest Mazarites appeared again – with three ships, this time. Rather than firing, the Captain decided to run at top speed, so much that according to Trip this will be a Starfleet record. We were at two hours from the rendez-vous point but it was obvious to me that we wouldn't have been able to keep this speed. I was ready –as much as it was possible in our conditions- to fire them again with _everything_ I had on the ship.

Eventually V'Las requested to have a word with the Captain but none of us knows what she told him. But when the Mazarites hailed us he didn't back up:

"Are you aware that your engines are overheating?" the Mazarite Captain asked calmly.

"So are yours."

"We have no quarrel with you. Give us the Vulcan and you'll be free to go."

"I have a better idea. Why don't you slow down before your engines explode?" the Captain asked boldly.

"Why would you risk the lives of your crew for this criminal?" My word, I wouldn't have been able to answer this question.

"I've been ordered to deliver her safely to the Vulcans, and that's exactly what I plan to do."

When they entered weapons range the Captain asked Trip to go to warp 5 – and he did it! Unfortunately the Mazarites were still on our tail and soon the port injectors blew.

"There's a diplomatic frequency we sometimes use. It's in a lower subspace band. I doubt the Mazarites are aware of it." V'Las said. I tried my best to deflect the Mazarites jamming signals so that we could blind their sensors while Hoshi and the Ambassador sent the message.

We didn't even know whether the message had reached the Vulcans or not.

When the Mazarites asked for the Ambassador again, the Captain told them our shuttlepod had been destroyed and sent V'Las to Sickbay trying to pretend that she was ill.

I was in charge on the bridge and I was preparing for the worse – many Mazarite ships blowing us up – when thankfully the Vulcan starship Sh'Raan arrived and the Mazarites quickly left.

I still don't know what actually happened with V'Las and eventually the Vulcans saved our lives, but still I'm so very angry with them! They had no right to put us in jeopardy without even telling us what was going on. On the bridge, with the Mazarites attacking, I felt defenseless, powerless, but worse that that I felt that I was not able to protect my crew. I felt that even if I tried my best still I wasn't able to protect them and it made me feel terrified.

_Addition:_

The Captain told me he's spoken with Admiral Forest. Apparently V'Las wasn't actually a criminal (and I had imagined that as well) but still the Admiral wasn't happy too and he agreed that this time the Vulcans have gone too far.

If Soval were here now I think I would just pull at his ears and make a _knot_ with them.

I hope at least we'll enjoy our shore leave now…


	23. Desert Crossing

**Desert Crossing**

**Starlog 53, February 13****th****, 2152**

Well, it seems we'll never get to Risa! We're just not meant to have a shore leave!

This morning we were peacefully on the road to Risa again when we received a distress call: it may be cynical and, of course, we had to answer, but I cursed that bloody alien!

"What were their problems about, if I may ask?" I asked Trip at lunch, in the mess hall. He had just come back from the alien craft.

"Their warp injectors were filled with plasma residue. I really don't know what he had on his mind, where do you think to go with a ship like that?!" he chewed back, irritated.

"It's like letting a child drive a car." I agreed.

But the surprises didn't end here: apparently Zobral, the craft's pilot, invited Captain Archer and Trip on his planet for some kind of match and the Captain obviously accepted, he would never turn down a challenge.

Trip didn't seem to happy about it: Zobral's planet is something like a giant desert.

"You know, this reminds me of survival training. And as much as the Cap'n likes challenges, I would rather lay on a beach on Risa rather than walking in the desert!" he muttered.

"Why isn't he taking T'Pol on the planet? She's used to the desert at least, she might go as far as liking it!" I mused.

"Apparently Zobral wants to thank me for repairing his shuttle. Next time I'm going to crumble it up, what the hell!" he complained.

"Now, now. You're from Florida, you'll like that warm weather!" I said.

"OK, let me spill a bucketful of water on your head just because you're British" he retorted, annoyed.

"It doesn't always rain in Britain!" I answered glaring, even if I was amused "You can always ask the Captain to take someone else with him."

"Did it done" he sighed "There was simply no way. He promised that I won't have to eat snake meat this time."

I looked at him, bewildered: "Snake meat? What the hell…?"

"Let's not speak about that, OK?" he asked uneasily, with a slight blush, and I had to keep a laughter.

**Starlog 54, February 15, 2152**

I swear I'm going to _kill_ the Captain someday!

Yesterday I got a call from T'Pol: "Lieutenant, please report to the Bridge immediately".

I rushed there and she informed me that apparently Zobral was a _terrorist_. She had just been contacted by a government officer who informed her that Zobral and his men were responsible of some terroristic attacks – against civilians as well.

"And who are they?"

"They are called Torothans. I have already informed the Captain and advised him to get back to the Enterprise. We are waiting for him."

"Why haven't we teletransported them yet?" I asked, but deep down I already knew the answer.

"Because the Captain wanted to speak with Zobral before." T'Pol answered.

_Of course_. Someday he will try to speak to a _bomb_ too.

I got to my station and noticed that something was wrong:

"There's a number of ships strafing the encampment." I said worriedly to T'Pol.

"Hail the Captain." She answered.

He answered immediately but his voice was barely audible.

"Captain, are you all right?"

"We've taken shelter. Should be…" his voice answered. Hoshi guiltily told us that she couldn't do more than that because the region was full of jamming signals.

At least he was alive but the situation was very serious and moreover we knew nothing about Trip; I felt shivers running along my spine. I tried hard to localize their biosigns but there was no way.

"I can't localize their biosigns. I'll take a shuttlepod and find them myself!" I said defiantly.

But T'Pol argued that it would've been difficult to do so during an assault and she asked Hoshi to try and contact the Torothans Chancellor instead. Obviously he refused to help us, he refused to wait for us to get our officers back, he threatened to attack us too. And to end it well I lost sensor contact with the surface and I wasn't able to see anything.

I found out that this problem was due to a dispersion field and I wanted to try and disable the satellites that produced the field but T'Pol argued again saying that it would've been too intrusive. I know that I was impulsive and that I could've done something really reckless just because I was scared and I don't like it; I should prevent my personal feelings to cloud my mind, otherwise I'll never be a good security officer.

T'Pol also mentioned to Hoshi that the Captain should make a protocol about how to approach alien species; I think that would be useless. He's a master at _ignoring_ protocols.

I was studying another way to disable that field when Zobral's vessel approached and hailed us. He asked us to bring him on the Enterprise before his ship was detected because he had something to tell us.

"Where are the Captain and Commander Tucker?" T'Pol asked him as soon as he set foot on the ship.

"They're alive and, for now, safe."

"Why did you do this? The Torothans…"

"The Torothans persecuted my people and I wanted to get the Enterprise's help." He cut in.

"Why the Enterprise? It's just a small ship…" I argued, not understanding his point.

"But we knew about your legendary accomplishments and about how Captain Archer freed thousands of Sulibans…"

"Wait a moment. They weren't thousands but more like dozens." I clarified.

"How many?"

"There were eighty nine. There were only eighty nine Suliban, not thousands." I answered.

"And the army you defeated?"

"I would hardly call it an army. It was more like a few dozen prison guards, and to be honest they didn't put up much of a fight."

Zobral was helpless and I would've felt sorry for the man had he asked for our help in another way. But he told me something interesting: he had gotten to the Enterprise using a gap in the Torothans' detection grid.

"It occurs once every forty six minutes, but it is only open for less than one minute. " he explained.

"I'll need all the pertinent data."

"Ha! You'll need more than that. The maneuvers are extremely difficult. It took us years to learn them." Zobral argued.

"I'm a quick study." I retorted.

"I don't have time. My men are waiting for me."

Oh, your men are waiting for you and so you run away after making a mess? I don't think so!

"Then they'll have to wait a little longer. You're the one that got our people stranded down there. " I told him harshly.

He protested but eventually he had to help us; he went in the shuttlepod together with T'Pol and me and gave me instructions. Eventually we found the Captain and Trip next to a Torothan mortar; I fired it and thankfully we were able to rescue them, exhausted but well.

The first thing Trip said once he was aboard the shuttlepod was: "This is the last blasted desert I set my foot on."

Trip later told me that Zobral hadn't hurt them at all during their permanence, that he just wanted our help and that in his opinion Zobral was right about his battle. I agreed with him, of course, but we can't get involved in every conflict we meet on our way. What would've happened if the Vulcans had revealed and interfered with our story during our wars?

I'm very sorry about Zobral even if he has been reckless, I hope he will succeed in his attempts. I will also speak with the Captain about setting a protocol on how to approach new species: I know he'll never respect it but at least I'll have the right to fuss.


	24. Two Days and Two Nights

**A.N. I haven't published any chapter in forever, I'm sorry! That happened because I didn't find this episode much inspiring. I'll try to update more frequently.**

**Two days and two nights**

**Starlog 55, February 18, 2152**

Shoreleave! I'm looking forward to it, I really need some relax. Before landing, though, I've made sure that everything is right in the Armoury; since Ensign Balosz is in the away team too I've decided to leave Ensign Youssou in charge.

"Apply the protocols and the standard procedures as usual, Ensign" I told him "Should a serious problem come out, please contact me."

"Yes, sir. I hope everything will be alright, though."

"I hope so as well but we've learnt to always keep our eyes open." I answered, feeling slightly paranoid.

"Of course, sir." He answered without flinching. He's used to my cautiousness and knows better than showing surprise.

"Then you are dismissed, Ensign"

"Enjoy your shoreleave, sir" he said before going away.

My luggage is ready (a very small one, obviously) and soon I will meet with Trip in the hangar. Until some days ago

I was slightly nervous because the city we're going to reside in is a seaside resort and I know Trip likes diving. I'm fairly sure that I told Trip something about my aquaphobia when we were trapped in the shuttlepod but we were so drunk at the time that I don't know if and how much he remembers about it. Anyway, either he did remember about my aquaphobia or he wasn't interested in the seaside because he didn't even mention diving.

The two of us have exactly the same propositions about what to do during these two days: relaxing and _enjoying_ our spare time with the _many species_ who use to visit Risa.

I hear Travis will be with us too: he said something about climbing, I just hope he won't break his legs. Hoshi will practice with alien languages (man, even _I_ am not that workaholic), while I still don't know what the Captain will do. I can foresee that he will get in trouble, though. Phlox, on the other hand, will be enjoying his denobulan hibernation on the Enterprise; T'Pol will stay on the Enterprise too (not hibernating, I suppose).

Now I have to go or Trip will kill me.

**Starlog 56, February 20, 2152**

Why do we _always_ get into trouble?

At first the shoreleave went well. Risa is quite beautiful and our city was pleasant, the weather warm enough. Trip and I just wandered around enjoying the sunlight (not that different from our sun actually) and had dinner in a nice small restaurant.

"I spotted a bar somewhere near our hotel, Malcolm" Trip told me after dinner.

"Well, come on!" I said, standing up.

The bar was nice and the ladies were even nicer (except someone with far too many eyes for my liking).

At first we just had some cocktails (quite good, by the way) and looked around.

"The Vulcan database said no one leaves this club unhappy" Trip observed after some time and I immediately pictured in my mind Soval _personally checking_ the theory in order to fill the database.  
>"How would the Vulcans know? They only mate once every seven years."<br>"That's what they say" Trip answered, doubtful.  
>"Do you know something I don't?"<br>"Come on, seven years? I doubt even T'Pol could hold out that long".

I was tipsy enough to immediately start wondering about T'Pol's sexual activity. Luckily Trip called my attention to someone else.  
>"Malcolm, bearing one eight zero."<br>"What?"  
>"Behind you"<p>

The two aliens were, indeed, remarkable but I _suppose_ Dee'Ahn and Latia weren't their real names. We offered a drink to them and we sat at a table, making small silly conversation.

That was until they proposed to show us the _subterranean gardens_. My, not even a schoolboy would have believed that; we did, and followed them without question in the club cellar.

But when one of the aliens asked: "What kind of valuables do you have?" I felt that something was very wrong and the tipsiness disappeared almost immediately. Worse than that, they even turned into _males._

"I hope this isn't their mating ritual" Trip muttered, helpless, just before they stunned us.

I woke up the next morning, tied, in my very underwear and affected by a terrible headache. Trip was still sleeping, so I spent my time cursing myself. The bloody security officer who gets _bag-snatched_ and _stunned_! Luckily we didn't have any valuables because our holiday has been paid previously with some dilithium supply; a pity that we didn't even have other _dresses_.

I tried to call for help but no one came down, the bar was probably closed (and Trip didn't wake up even if I was shouting).

After some time he did wake up, at last.

"I don't know if it was those Risan mai-tais or getting shot, but my head's killing me." He declared.  
>"It was probably both. The sun's up. We've been down here all night"<br>"Great. Our shore leave's half over."

He tried to call for help too but again, no one heard us.

"I don't plan on spending our entire trip tied up in a basement" he muttered like we had other options.  
>"The Vulcan database didn't mention anything about crime" I said, helpless.<br>"They said it was very rare" Trip eventually admitted.  
>"What?"<br>"It had some warnings, but I didn't think it'd be a problem" he minimized.  
>"Wonderful" I snorted sarcastically. Usually I don't grace people with my presence when I am that nervous but I was forced to stay with Trip at the moment.<br>"You think this is my fault" he retorted immediately, offended.  
>"You were willing to follow two strange aliens into a basement!" I accused, annoyed because I knew perfectly well that I had been <em>very<em> _willing_ too. And Trip promptly pointed pointed out that he hadn't forced me to follow them in the basement.  
>"If we don't make it to the loading zone on time, they're going to start scanning for our biosigns. Do you want the Captain to find us like this?" I asked, embarrassed at the very thought. What would he had thought about his security officer?<p>

Trip had to choose that very moment to joke about it:

"That doesn't bother me. But I see the problem: Malcolm Reed, the fussy and paranoid _security officer_ who gets robbed and tied down half-naked in a…"

"Do you think it's funny, Commander?" I asked, offended. I shouldn't have been, he meant no harm actually.

"Malcolm, repeat after me T-R-I-P. And yes, I do think it's funny" he said impishly, bursting into laughter.

"You're lucky that my hands are tied or I would've punched you" I muttered through gritted teeth.

"Come on, we're on shoreleave. You can't expect be as concentrated as you are on the Enterprise!" he tried to soothe.

"That's why I said one should never lower the guard" I retorted.

Trip smiled at me.

"What's up?"

"You are… I believe you would say entertaining!"

The damn man, joking with me because I couldn't go away and I couldn't punch his nose too! I'm going to take my revenge sooner or later.

Since no one came to our rescue, we tried to free ourselves and we managed to cut our ropes after some time. Unfortunately, in order to get us free Trip had to break a bottle whose content stank horribly.

We made it back to our rooms at the hotel – in our underwear, of course.

"I don't think we'll be able to get out this evening" Trip sighed.

"Our attire is questionable and we don't exactly smell like roses" I muttered with a grimace. After three showers the terrible stink was still there.

We spent the whole day in our respective rooms – at least we had time to sleep a lot. The landlady kindly gave us a robe so we didn't actually show up in front of the Captain in our underwear.

The Captain and Hoshi seemed quite relaxed and happy about the holiday (and I had said _he_ would've gotten into trouble) while Travis got predictably hurt while climbing and went back to the ship. I wonder if Doctor Phlox was happy about being woken up from the hibernation.

Anyway, I've been waiting for this shoreleave for weeks and it was a disaster. My usual luck.

Addition: That man is insufferable. I'm talking about Trip, of course.

I sat before him with a deep sigh in the mess hall. He looked closely at me.

"Y' know what, Malcolm?"

"Mmh?"

"You need a shoreleave"

I looked at him murderously.

"But this time we just got a _soreleave_" he added with a grin. My-God.

"Trip, this one is bad even for your standards".

I need a shoreleave.


	25. Shockwave I and II

**Shockwave I and II**

**A.N. I decided to put the two episodes together even if the log has gotten quite longer than usual this way.**

**I would like to thank Hummingbird2, James Birdsong and Lupinesence for their reviews along with everyone who has taken time to read my fiction**

**Starlog 57, February 23, 2152**

We're going to visit a colony tomorrow. It's called Paragaan II and it was settled 20 years ago. It seems the Paragaans who live there have adapted very quickly; they started as thirty and they are about three thousand now. The Captain, T'Pol, Trip and I are going to land with the shuttlepod.

"Apparently they're a matriarchal society. We'll better be very careful" Trip commented.

"Don't flirt with them or you'll get pregnant again. _Sir_." I joked.

"Don't flirt with them or they'll tie you half-naked on a cellar floor!" he retorted with a smile.

We're expecting to receive their landing protocols; we'll need them since their atmosphere is quite peculiar.

As for me, my fellows will probably kill me someday because I decided that we need to have training sessions twice a week instead than just once. Combat skills and especially phase pistol shooting skills are not up to the standards. I'm fairly sure some of the crewmen and fellow officer think they're just not up to _my_ standards and that I'm being my usual fussy self but I know what I'm doing.

**OOO**

**Starlog 58, February 24, 2152**

Bloody hell. I'm afraid those training sessions won't be necessary after all.

This morning I received the landing protocols by the Paragaans and proceeded to land with the Captain, Trip and T'Pol. I locked the plasma ducts at seventy five kilometers instead of the fifty kilometers they had requested in order to avoid igniting their atmosphere: I _locked_ them, I _bloody locked_ them. But at some point we heard a really loud explosion, the shuttlepod started tumbling until I could feel my guts in my very throat and, most of all, the atmosphere _burned_.

We got back on the Enterprise even if I still don't know how we made it; thankfully we were all well apart from Trip, who suffered a light concussion.

"Have you tried hailing the colony? There has to be someone down there" the Captain asked Hoshi. From the look on her face, I imagined the worst.

"Sir, I tried to explain. There's nothing left. No buildings, no trees, no people"

Thirty six hundred colonists, all of them dead, an entire colony destroyed. And apparently, because of us.

The Captain asked me if a malfunction could've occurred.

"I closed both ducts. Any kind of malfunction would have triggered an alarm. Two alarms. There are backups to prevent these kinds of accidents. The ducts were closed." I answered. One of my security teams always checks the shuttlepods before the take-off; as for the maintenance, Trip is as fussy as I am about weapons and his staff always checks the pods.

Anyway T'Pol, Trip and I checked the shuttlepod again. T'Pol analyzed the pod's sensor logs – and according to them the bloody plasma conducts were locked. Trip checked Enterprise's sensor logs – and according to them the tetrazine levels were far lower than expected and there hadn't been plasma leaks. I obviously searched for the point of ignition together with Ensign Balosz.

"It originated at the starboard plasma duct" I told her "but it was most certainly locked. Let's check again."

"The flash point was beneath the shuttle" she said "but, according to the logs the plasma duct was closed, sir." She answered.

We also checked the alarm system and it set off just as it would've done in case of malfunctioning. After multiple checks I grew convinced that either the logs were wrong or someone had sabotaged the pod.

"Let's wait for the atmospheric analysis of the probe, in the meantime check again the logs, Ensign" I told Balosz before heading to the Bridge.

On the Bridge I found a very worried and bewildered Trip and discovered that the atmosphere next to the surface was filled with boro-carbons, which are produced, as Trip himself pointed out, when tetrazine is ignited with plasma exhaust.

"I don't care whether that probe picked up traces of bread pudding. Both our plasma ducts were locked down, and there were no leaks in the system. Not unless they miraculously mended themselves afterwards." I pointed out. That very moment the Captain emerged from the turbo-lift and summoned T'Pol and Trip in his ready room. He had just spoken with Admiral Forest and, as Trip later informed me, our mission has been cancelled.

_Cancelled_. Because of something we aren't even guilty of. Because the _bloody_ Vulcans want to get rid of us. Egoistic as it may be, the Enterprise has been my only true home so far and here I've found friends and he who will probably be my life's best friend, Trip. I don't want to loose all of this. It wouldn't be a problem for me to find another work on Earth or another assignment on a starship but it won't be quite like this.

"The strange thing is" Trip added while we were heading to the Launch Bay "that he didn't even fight against this decision. He seems – helpless."

"I hope he doesn't actually believe it's been our fault!" I replied, shocked. The Captain is not one to accept so readily such a decision.

"No. But unless we find an explanation it's unlikely that they'll change their mind anyway" he sighed. "I'll get a quick snack and go back to work" he added "care to join me?"

"No, I'll go back to the launch bay. I have something on my mind".

Once there I told Balosz to begin another diagnostic looking for every possible anomaly, not just plasma leaks and log errors. I was growing more and more convinced that someone had sabotaged the pod.

After some time I actually found an EM signature just below the starboard plasma duct.

"Maybe it's been caused by the boro-carbons" Balosz pointed out. We checked but there weren't boro-carbons on that signature – in fact there wasn't anything familiar on that signature. I felt it wasn't timely to approach the Captain so I went to inform T'Pol.

I didn't hear any news from the Captain so I'm going to have a quick dinner. It's almost 8 PM and I haven't eaten since breakfast.

**OOO**

**Starlog 59, February 25, 2152**

Well, I have plenty of spare time to write my log since I'm locked in my very quarters. But let's start from the beginning.

Yesterday, late in the evening, I was still working on the shuttlepod when the Captain summoned me to his quarters. I almost _ran_ there.

"T'Pol informed me that you found an EM signature on the pod" he told me.

"Yes, sir."

"Point a phase discriminator where you found the signature" he ordered.

I looked at him, bewildered, not knowing where could that idea come from, then I hurried back to the launch bay and complied. And all of a sudden a small, eight-sided object, absolutely unknown, appeared from _nowhere._ Too stunned to think, I hurried to the Situation Room where the Captain and the senior staff were already waiting for me. The Captain took the object from my hands and gave it to T'Pol, explaining that it had been designed to create a plasma stream.

"Put a team together, Trip. I'll need two quantum beacons. They'll have to be positron-based and have an output of two hundred gigawatts apiece." He told Trip as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Positron-based, sir?" Trip asked, bewildered.

"Just get started. I'll bring you the specs in a few minutes." The Captain answered dismissively. Then he told me to put the Armory on full alert – the Armory is always on full alert, by the way – and asked Hoshi to inactivate our comm. frequencies for a while. Eventually we reversed our course and we're getting back to Paragaan II.

Heading to the Armory, I couldn't help but remember that the last time something so weird happened to us, crewman Daniels was involved. And actually, after some thirty minutes, the Captain himself went to pick me up in the Armory and we headed to room E14, Daniels' room. The Captain informed me that he had just spoken with Daniels and I knew better than asking where and why.

I just asked whether our current situation had something to do with the Sulibans.

"Yes, it has" the Captain almost smiled at me "A Suliban cruiser caused the whole incident. It wasn't our fault"

"Last time Daniels left his database here" he added.

"Database, Sir?"

"Yes. It contains information about future events, schematics and most of all what Daniels wants us to get now."

"And what is that, Sir?"

"The schematics for the Suliban Stealth Cruiser"

Wow.

"Why did Daniels leave it in his quarters?"  
>"I don't recall him having much time to pack before he left" he answered. That made sense.<br>"No. Well, if it is there and it contains what he said it does, it could be invaluable to Starfleet." I pointed out, thinking about the many times we had been surprised and endangered by unknown alien technologies.  
>"I gave Daniels my word, Malcolm. We download the schematics for the Suliban Stealth Cruiser, nothing else." He answered immediately.<br>According to the Captain the Sulibans won't come after us even if we do find the Cruiser because it's not written in history. I just hope he's right. I removed the magnetic lock I had settled on Daniels' door and we got in; the Captain found immediately what he was looking for.

He evidently knew how to use the database and I could see that it contained _everything_. I was especially tempted by Klingon vessel's schematics but the Captain was adamant about downloading only what we needed at the moment.

I think Daniels has been quite lucky to find a man as loyal as Captain Archer; I myself would've been tempted by the database had I been alone. Eventually we found what we were searching for, downloaded it and left Daniels' room, closing it again with the magnetic lock.

"We will localize the Suliban cruiser with the quantum beacons and fire it. Before we reach it, I need you to plot all of their targets; we don't have to destroy the cruiser because I have to get something from there"

"And do you know where this thing is located, Sir?"

"Yes. It's in the schematics. We'll find tons of Sulibans. We will need appropriate weapons to bring down."

"I'll study the situation and settle a plan, Sir".

In the Armory I selected the more appropriate targets: cloaking generator, weapon banks, port and starboard engines. I studied a way to seal off the two lower levels of the ship, where I knew most of the crew resided, I selected some stun grenades that would've worked pretty well against the Sulibans.

"I'll monitor your situation continuously in case something unexpected happens, Captain" I told him later, when we met to discuss the plan.

At first everything went as the Captain had planned; we found the cruiser, we fired it and the Captain, Trip and T'Pol landed. The Captain got what he needed – three small discs. They made it back to the shuttlepod and I was already half sighing with relief when the Sulibans arrived and tried to force themselves into the pod. Trip had to ignite the thrusters in order to leave because he couldn't release the docking clamps. Once the pod was back in the launch bay we reversed our course.

Hoshi found out that the Stealth Cruiser was in orbit while we descended and that they even docked with the shuttlepod to set the device we had discovered. At this point I thought the worst part was over, how silly of me.

I was in charge on the bridge when I noticed that our readings were anomalous, as if we had trouble balancing the warp fields. I immediately called the Captain, fearing a Suliban attack.

"Reed to Commander Tucker" I added, knowing that Trip would've killed me had I not told him of such a problem.  
>"Go ahead"<p>

"The warp field seems to go out of alignment, Commander. Please report to the Bridge"

The Captain and Trip arrived in no time. Trip said the computer had found nothing wrong with the warp field but still the problem was there. For good measure, the Captain told me to load weapons. And then, using the quantum beacons, we could see twelve blobs following us; even the quickest analysis revealed that they were charged with high-yield particle weapons. _And it shouldn't have happened because it wasn't written, yes, of course._

I was just telling the Captain that there was nothing I could've done against them when they hailed us.

The Suliban who spoke with us, Silik, wanted to take the Captain with him, otherwise he would've destroyed the ship. The Captain obediently left T'Pol in charge, entered the turbo-lift –and _disappeared_. Trip couldn't read his biosigns anymore; I supposed he could be somehow with Daniels and the Suliban later relieved a temporal signature in the turbolift.

All of the Suliban "blobs" targeted our warp core at once and for a second I thought we would've died. But the Sulibans didn't fire us; they made sure the Captain was not on the ship, then told us to prepare to be boarded.

Then I made a fool of myself: I wanted to send my security teams to the docking ports but T'Pol stopped me, saying that after all they were still targeting our warp core. Of course, Trip protested fiercely but T'Pol was right, and this reminds me how very useful can be a Vulcan among a crew of emotional humans.

The Sulibans boarded us, searched all over the ship for the Captain and for the three discs (that they found). They ordered Trip to shut down everything but Engineering and the Bridge and then confined us in our quarters, threatening to kill us in case of resistance. I must say that T'Pol was incredible and she handled the situation with a calmness that no human would've had.

If my log is so long and detailed today it's because I'm still locked up in here. If the Captain is with Daniels then he's probably alive or I hope so, on the other hand there's absolutely no way to contact my fellows. Maybe the Federation will notice that we haven't come back in time and will send someone to search for us but I fear it will be too late. I'm also very worried because, according to the Captain, this shouldn't have happened and as a Security Officer I should have asked for more information, instead I failed.

I just hope the rest of the crew is fine.

**Addition**: Thankfully we've got a bloody good Chief Engineer on this ship! Trip managed to contact me.

"I thought the comm. was offline" I pointed out.  
>"It is. I'm routing the signal through the EPS grid. I can talk to any doorbell on B deck" he answered. I swear I wanted to <em>hug<em> him.

"Are you all right?" I asked worriedly.

"Same as you, I guess. Locked in tight"

"And the others?"  
>"I can't get in contact with T'Pol for some reason and Hoshi and Travis are on C deck"<p>

"Any thoughts about how we're going to get rid of these Suliban?" Nothing came to my mind at the moment and even if we can communicate I'm not sure we'll be able to get out of our rooms.  
>"One step at a time. The first thing I need to do is figure out how to tap into the door comms on C-deck. I'll get back to you. Sit tight"<br>"I wasn't planning on going anywhere" I answered, helpless.

Now I'm waiting for Trip to contact the others.

**Addition 2** – Now I'm waiting for Hoshi to come here.

Eventually Trip was able to contact Travis, Hoshi and T'Pol.

"We have to trick Silik into using Daniels' device" T'Pol informed us "This way we should bring the Captain back".

"And how do you know?" Trip asked in the comm., bewildered.

"The Captain himself told me some moments ago." She replied. Apparently the Captain had actually been with Daniels all the time.

"With all due respect, T'Pol, are you sure that you…"

"I spoke with the Captain, Commander Tucker. Now I think we should concentrate on how to comply."

"First of all we need to get out of here" Trip said.

Travis suggested that we could've used the shafts of the EPS conduits but the only one small enough to get into them is Hoshi. At first she was quite reluctant because of her claustrophobia but eventually Trip gently managed to persuade her. I admire her quite a lot, I don't know if I would've been able to do the same thing with water.

"Once we are free, I will fake delirium in order to attract the Sulibans and you will stun them" T'Pol added. I didn't understand the point but I didn't ask questions.

"As for the device I could get into Daniels' quarters and take it" I said.

"We must trick Silik into using it" T'Pol pointed out.

"Daniels' quarters are certainly guarded by the Sulibans. As I get in or out they will attack me and take the device" I explained, knowing in advance that it wouldn't have been pleasurable "Then I'll have to trick them into using it."

"And how?" Travis asked worriedly.

"I will say the Captain told me to destroy it in order to prevent the Sulibans from contacting him. They will immediately use it to get at the Captain."

"There's a problem" Trip pointed out. He had been silent so far.

"What problem?"

"They won't let you go away unharmed, Malcolm" he said softly.

I sighed: "I know, but we have to get the Captain back. How do we get rid of the other Sulibans?"

"We could fake a warp core breach. I can see about that" Trip proposed.

Now we're waiting for Hoshi to free us.

**OOO**

**Starlog 60, February 27, 2152**

_Ouch._

Well, the plan worked but I'm still hurting from the beatings.

Soon after I had stopped registering my log Hoshi appeared – shirtless. She had lost her shirt while getting out from the shaft. T'Pol faked a very convincing delirium and we stunned the Sulibans with two of Phlox' jolly hiposprays, locking them in my quarters with Hoshi.

Trip asked me again if I really wanted to do it and I confirmed, even if he seemed worried.

I easily entered Daniels' quarters and took the device; when I went out they were waiting for me. They took the device from me and beat me quite literally to a pulp to get information; I could count two broken ribs, a swollen lip, a black eye and countless blows. Eventually I was able to persuade them that they had to use the device – and Silik involuntarily got the Captain back! The warp core breach trick worked and the Sulibans immediately freed us, so that we went at warp and flew, pursued by the Sulibans.

As for me, as soon as they ended the "interrogation" one of them took me back to my quarters – where Hoshi stunned him and called Phlox. I was hurting like hell.

Then I don't remember much because the Doctor's painkillers made me quite dizzy. All of a sudden, I wakened to find the Captain next to my bed.

"Sir!" I said straightening. But I had to lay down again because the pain was still there.

"Take it easy, Malcolm. They gave you quite a beat" he urged.

"Where are they, Sir?"

"Well, let's say that I persuaded Silik to call his ships back. We've resumed our course"

I sighed with relief – at least.

"I came to thank you. You did a great job" he said appreciatively "Now I'll let you rest."

I'm so very glad that we have the Captain back.

We have reached the Vulcan ship D'Kir and it seems we're actually going home this time. Obviously the incident hasn't been our fault and we can prove it, so there's no reason why they should cancel the mission. Or at least I hope so.

Phlox told me Trip came here earlier but I was asleep and he didn't want to wake me.

**Addition**: _adorable_ Trip.

A hour ago I heard him entering sickbay and having a quiet word with the Doctor. Then he opened the courtains of my biobed and looked at me, a small box in his hands.

"Hi, Trip" I began, noticing that he appeared quite shocked.

"Malcolm, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you do that" he whispered.

"Trip, I chose to do it. We had to do it. Don't blame yourself" I soothed. He seemed very saddened.

"Moreover, I am better than I appear. I didn't even pass out…" I added. It was meant to be reassuring but he seemed even more horrified.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm fine, all's well what ends well" I said matter-of-factly. Actually I was about to wince with pain but I didn't want him to feel guilty.

"Anyway I thought you deserved a reward" he said gently, opening the box. It was filled with ice-cream.

"It's pineapple ice-cream. The Doc says it's fine as long as you eat it slowly."

I smiled widely, forgetting for a moment about my injuries, and I grimaced.

"Thank you so much Trip. It's been very kind of you, you shouldn't have…"

"Don't. Even. Start. That. Eat your ice-cream so you'll be silent for once, Loo-tenant" he answered grinning.

Despite the blows, I'm happy. I've eaten the whole box of ice-cream.

**OOO**

**Starlog 61, February 29, 2152 ****(Author's Note: I calculated that 2152 will be a leap year :D )**

The mission hasn't been cancelled!

We spoke with Ambassador Forest and Soval, the latter being his usual bloody insufferable self. He all but accused us to be a bunch of idiots when surprisingly T'Pol stood for us and almost reprimanded Soval. I wanted so badly to laugh on that moment!

Anyway, this morning the Captain summoned the Senior Staff in his ready room and informed us that we've been allowed to resume our mission.

I'm back on duty – as I said to Trip, the injuries were actually better than they appeared. Now I hope I'll enjoy at least some time without getting almost killed…


	26. Carbon Creek

**Carbon Creek**

**Author's Note: I know Malcolm is not featured in Carbon Creek, so I decided to "use" this episode to write some scenes that I had on my mind. Next chapter will obviously be "Minefield" (next week I hope)! As usual, thank you everyone for reading and reviewing.**

**Starlog 62, April 9, 2152**

_Sorry figures 1 – Malcolm 0._

But let's start from the beginning. Since our last incident with the Sulibans I've been worried to say the least because another incident like that could occur at any moment.

First of all, I decided to make some improvements in the Armory using the information we have gained; I want to equip the shuttlepods with an EM signatures' detector able to immediately reveal abnormal signatures but this is taking more time than I had expected because my device still has trouble detecting lower wavelength signatures.

"The spectrometer is not up to the standards when it comes to lower wavelenghts. Check the calibration system again, Ensign" I told Balosz.

"But sir, the detector's alarm goes off in thirty seconds anyway" she pointed out.

"I know, but since we're doing this we'd better do it well"

"Aye, sir" she answered without flinching. She's used to me being a fuss.

A moment later, while I was checking the EM signatures database, I could hear her muttering something in what I thought could be Hungarian. Her voice was so feeble that I wasn't probably supposed to hear it. It sounded like "_phonto sko-doe–ee-deh-sham_" (Author's Note: I hope I got that right…)

"I beg your pardon?" I asked from my position.

There was a brief, awkward silence, then she replied nervously: "I was just complaining about a burnt circuit, Sir. I'm sorry"

I wasn't entirely convinced about that answer and later I went to check it. I tried to repeat the words she had said to the translator but I found no answer, apparently I wasn't pronunciating them properly. Eventually, I went to ask Hoshi. I know I probably shouldn't have fussed so much about such a small thing but I wanted to know whether she was saying something like "bloody idiot".

At lunchtime, I repeated the sentence to Hoshi.

"Do you mean _fontoskodò édesem_?" she asked politely.

"It sounded exactly like that, yes" I confirmed.

She looked at me peculiarly.

"I hope it's not a bad word" I added.

"No, it means something like '_fussy sweetheart_' " she answered with a smile.

_Oh_. I blushed slightly.

"Who called you that, if I may?"

"What makes you think someone _called_ _me_ that?"

"Well, because it's a fairly good description of your personality!" she explained with a laugh.

_Fussy sweetheart_. That's _just_ what I wanted to be, or didn't I? Damn.

"The only Hungarian aboard Enterprise is Eszter Balosz. Who happens to be your second-in-command" she said mischieviously.

I stiffened: "It's actually no big deal. She said it when she thought I wasn't hearing, that's all."

Hoshi raised an eyebrow but didn't push the matter anymore. Obviously I won't mention the whole issue to Balosz, it's fine as long as she doesn't call me an incompetent bastard or something like that.

But sometimes I'd better shut my bloody mouth and my ears!

And now let's get back to the Armory, _fussy sweetheart_ here has a lot of work to do.

OOO

**Starlog 63, April 13, 2152**

Today is Trip's birthday. Thankfully I was able to get him the present I wanted!

My present is a sort of scuba-diving equipment I bought on Risa. Thankfully, I had it delivered on the Enterprise before the departure because, since Trip would've landed with me, I didn't want him to see it.

"I wonder where you found me a present since the only time we left Enterprise for shoreleave we were together" he said with a smile when I gave him his present. He opened it carefully and then looked at it briefly before laughing out loud.

"Oh, I can't wait to try this out! Yay!"

"I'm glad you like it."

"That's a great present! Come on, birthdays deserve a toast even if I'm getting an old hand!"

"Don't complain, you're only 31" I pointed out with a smile.

"That's easy for you to say, you're younger!" he snorted.

"Now, _grandpa_. Let's have a beer since we're both off-duty" I joked.

As we drank the beer, Trip told me that yesterday evening T'Pol narrated him and the Captain the most incredible tale.

"She says First Contact didn't happen in 2063"

"And when did it happen?"

"In 1957 in a place called Carbon Creek, Pennsylvania"

"1957?" I asked, bewildered.

"Well, of course the Humans involved didn't realize it was a first contact. Vulcans who were exploring our planet happened to have some problem with their starhip and crash-landed."

I honestly can't picture the _Vulcans_ crash-landing anywhere…

"If I didn't know T'Pol I would think she was joking" I retorted.

"Same as I. Moreover, it seems that T'Pol grand-grandmother was involved, she was second-in-command at the time."

"Hold on. If T'Pol's grand-grandmother was already an adult woman in 1957 I wonder how old can be T'Pol". I know that Vulcans live longer than we do but my, that was almost two-hundred years ago!

"I remember Ambassador V'Lar telling that she and T'Pol probably were the oldest people on board. It seems I shouldn't complain that much about my age." Trip explained "When I asked V'Lar how old she was, she complained saying that I was being _rude_!"

We both laughed at the memory.

"If you want to find out how old she is you could go to her and start complaining, as in 'I'm thirty-one, I'm SO old!' " I suggested with a smirk.

"Mmh, don't want to end my birthday with my own death, thank you" he muttered.

I wonder how _old_ she actually is.

**Addition**: I got a message from Madeline. I wasn't expecting it because we don't write to each other very often but I was happy to listen to her voice.

The message was brief but sweet.

"_Dear Malcolm, how are you? I hope you're well and not overworking like you always do! Anyway, I just wanted you to know that the first big concert is coming! I'm going to play at the Royal Opera House in three months. Of course I won't play as the first violin but I'm really happy! Take care, write to me sometimes."_

Smiling widely, I dictated my reply.

"_Dear Madeline, I am well _and_ overworking like I always do. I'm very happy to know about your next concert, I wish I could at least watch the videos. I'm sure you will be magnificent."_

I paused, asking myself whether I should add something for my parents. But she hadn't mentioned them in her message so I thought I could spare that.

"_Take care too and thank you for telling me about the concert. Keep me posted about that."_

My family has never been very good at expressing feelings, I hope this letter can do. I'm really happy for her, many years of study and practice are bearing fruits.

And now let's get back to the bloody phase rifles, they need improvement.


	27. Minefield

**Minefield**

**A.N. Thanks to Hummingbird2, Lupinescense and LoyaulteMeLie for the reviews and thank you everyone for reading.**

**Starlog 64, April 21, 2152**

Now, that's a surprise! The Captain has just sent me a message inviting me to have breakfast with him in two days. Yes, I _had_ asked to speak with him because we need to work on some upgrades for the torpedo launchers but I assumed he would've received me in his ready room. Actually Trip and T'Pol use to sometimes have dinner with the Captain but I've never eaten with him so far.

I'm nervous. I'm enough of a social misfit without needing to have breakfast with my superior officer. I'll bring my PADD so we'll be able to discuss it. I just wonder why he hadn't summoned me to his office as he usually does.

As for the rest, they've finally selected a movie released in our century for Movie Night: tomorrow evening we will enjoy _Glowing town_. Not exactly my favourite genre but at least we won't be watching horrendous sci-fi this time.

OOO

**Starlog 65, April 23, 2152**

Breakfast has been the _better_ part of the _bloody day_ – just to say how the rest of the day went!

Well, the breakfast. It turned out that the Captain didn't actually want to discuss Security with me – he even scolded me when I started talking about work. He wanted to "have a long overdue meal" with the Armory Officer – he wanted to have _small talk_ with me!

"I heard that England made it to the finals in the World Cup" he said casually. My mind started working frantically: _water polo's_ world cup?

I beg your pardon?" I asked, helpless.

"The World Cup? Soccer?" he answered. Just bloody wonderful, _soccer_!

"Oh. I'm afraid I don't much follow football, sir"

"Any sports you do follow?" he asked politely.

"No, not particularly" I said, feeling more and more uneasy at every word.  
>Actually I do follow several martial arts and fencing but a Security Officer who only follows martial arts appears really <em>dull<em>.

I didn't want the Captain to take offence for my low compliance; I had been deeply honoured by his invitation. But I'm not good at small talk or at relaxing – it took me weeks to make small talk with my fellows officers in the mess hall, it took me months _and_ a freezing shuttlepod to make me feel at ease with one of my superior officers and now I was supposed to chat with the Captain as if we were _buddies_!

I was preparing for the next question when the comm beeped.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Captain" said T'Pol's voice "but we've detected an uncharted system along our present course. One of the planets is Minshara-Class".

That meant the breakfast was over, _thank God._

We headed to the Bridge. The Minshara-Class planet was covered in volcanoes and we were just searching for a safe place to land when the ship was rocked by a violent explosion. Looking at my station's monitors I could see it was something serious:

"Report!" the Captain yelled.

"It was a thermo-kinetic explosion on the outer hull, port forward quarter. Breaches on C deck, D deck." I explained. Hoshi was unconscious, eight subsections of the ship had decompressed and I didn't even know if someone was in there. I felt a horrible sensation in my guts.

"Find out what happened. Malcolm!"

"I'd give you an answer if I could, sir. The sensor logs aren't showing anything. All systems were functioning normally". I couldn't understand what the hell had happened; a malfunction in the Armoury would've been evident on my monitor!

The Captain hailed Engineering where Trip was as clueless as we were – and he had to face plasma fires and an overload in the EPS grid too. While the Captain spoke with Trip I found out that we had seventeen hurt crewmen but thankfully no one was dead.

Eventually Travis informed us that something had hit the ship and we found a mine near impulse reactor 2, on the hull. Analyzing it, I could say that her "twin" mine was likely to have caused the previous explosion. Of course an explosion next to the impulse reactor would've blown us up.

"What if we polarized the adjacent hull plating?" the Captain proposed.

"We don't know how it's triggered. Somebody has to go out there and defuse it, and it should be me. I have the ordnance training" I answered. Polarizing the hull plating could've triggered the bomb. The Captain agreed and so I equipped myself and went to the hull.

The mine was there and I thought to myself that probably there were other mines in the surroundings – you don't set up a minefield with two mines.

I quickly analyzed the mine. It had magnetic spikes and two of them had locked onto the hull – one would've locked _later_. The proximity sensors were offline, so apparently the mine wasn't aware it had hit us. Which was good because it hadn't exploded – which was bad because it _could_ _explode_ at any moment. Anyway I felt perfectly calm because weapons, even dangerous ones, are my element; I may feel a shiver when I set foot in the sea but on the other side I don't flinch when I handle a bomb.

I had just opened the access panel revealing the arming mechanism when I saw a vessel approaching. Call me a pessimist, I felt this was not going to be good.

And, as I had expected, the Captain hailed me: "Our friends seem to be anxious for us to leave. We're going to break orbit, nice and slowly".

Well, I couldn't see a problem with that. I only asked the Captain to let me know if he planned to go to warp, obviously. The Enterprise moved gently and the alien vessel literally disappeared. Soon I found what I was searching for and I hailed the Captain: "I've identified four separate detonation circuits. If I can isolate them in the proper sequence, I should be able to deactivate the mine. It'll take some doing, but to be honest, Captain, it's only a theory". Anyway, mines are quite easy to understand and I thought I have understood the mechanism correctly.

"I've got Trip working on a backup plan, but I'd prefer not to use it. Right now, you're our best bet. Be careful, Malcolm." the Captain told me. And as much as I was sure about my chances I was relieved to hear that Trip had a backup plan.

Then something quite unexpected happened. The ship moved sharply – probably poor Travis had to avoid another mine – and a spike magnetized itself to the hull going through my bloody _leg_. I informed the Captain and he told me he was on his way – I still don't understand why the hell he hadn't called someone from the Armoury.

He got on the hull as quickly as it was possible but still I was in a great deal of pain when he arrived. Scanning my leg, we found out that the bone was intact and that the pressure was preventing the wound from bleeding. The Captain wanted to cut the spike but I informed him there were circuits in it, thus I would've gotten roasted.

"Just give me something for the pain and I'll do my best to reach the access panel" I concluded.

"Not without doing more damage to that leg" he said defiantly.

"What's more important, my leg or your ship?"

"I intend to save both" An ambitious plan. It didn't seem to me the odds were in our favour.

"I don't see how"

"I asked Trip to prepare to detach this section of hull plating. Seemed like a good idea at the time"

"It's still a good idea" I said. The ship wouldn't have exploded.

"Not with you attached to it" the Captain specified. I couldn't understand what he had in mind; the only way to disengage me from the mine was defusing the mine – but the one in charge of defusing the mine was currently pinned to the hull. He gave me an anesthetic and for a moment I thought he was going to let me do the work while keeping me checked.

"Someone's got to defuse this thing. You're going to talk me through it" he said cheerfully. I thought and still think this was the most stupid idea I had ever heard.

"With all due respect, Captain, disarming mines is extremely delicate business. I'm trained for it. You're not" I pointed out.

"I'm a quick study" he retorted. I am a quick study too but I made it to bloody Armoury Officer before being able to defuse a mine with ease.

"It's too dangerous"

"In case you haven't noticed, Lieutenant we're sitting about five meters from an impulse reactor. I'm not leaving until we take this weapon offline"

"Sir" I protested, knowing it was useless. When he takes a decision almost nothing could make him change his mind.

"The way I see it, you don't have much choice. You're sort of stuck here. So would you let me get started?"

"I hope you've got a steady hand" I said helplessly. We started to defuse the detonation circuits starting from the most simple one since the Captain was a novice in the field. Thankfully he had a steady hand and he paid exceptional attention to my instructions.

Soon Trip called to inform us that the vessel was Romulan. I didn't know the Romulans until yesterday and I swear I was perfectly fine _without_ knowing them. They were aggressive, they wanted us to leave their system – thus the minefield was obviously theirs!

The Captain and I resumed our work and he started defusing the third circuit, far more difficult than the first two of them. And while he was working on time relays he had the wonderful idea of resuming the "small talk" he had begun at breakfast! Just what I needed to relax!

"This morning, at breakfast, before we were interrupted. You said you didn't follow any particular sport"

"Well, I'm afraid I haven't started following one since breakfast, sir" I snorted. I gave him some more instructions, hoping that he would've focused solely on his task. How silly of me.

"How about hobbies? Any hobbies?" he asked.

Yes. I play chess. I was a quite good player during my teens. But again, a tactical officer who plays a tactical game is really dull.

"No, not really, sir" I answered.

"I could've sworn I've seen you reading a book or two in the mess hall" he pointed out. As if reading was a hobby – reading is a necessity!

"Sir, do you really think that this is the appropriate time for a chat?"

"It helps me focus. It calms my nerves" Well, of course. At any other moment I would've stayed silent but I was getting nervous and I feared it could've affected my concentration, so I spoke up.

"Well, it isn't calming mine" I said. It came out harsher than I had intended but the Captain didn't mind.

"Sorry. It made you a little nervous this morning, too, didn't it? Why is that?"

Not wanting him to take offence, I answered frankly: "If you must know, I was honoured to be asked to sit at your table. I just wasn't entirely comfortable having a casual meal with my captain. I was trained not to fraternize with superior officers"

"Never too late to learn" he answered promptly.

"Frankly, sir, from my point of view that kind of socializing has no place on a starship" I know, I shouldn't have said that and at any other moment I wouldn't have said that. But I was nervous and keeping my thoughts to myself didn't help me to relax. But again the Captain didn't seem perturbed by my frankness –I must remember he's used to Trip- he simply explained that we'll probably be in space for years and that we have to depend on each other. I hoped we would've stopped here but the Captain asked again:

"I appreciate your suggestions, Malcolm. Anything else?"

And then I told him some things I wished to tell him from a long time.

"Well, since you asked. Bridge protocols have become somewhat lax. Too many people offering opinions. We're here to carry out your orders, sir. You're the Captain"

"What's the point of having a senior staff if they just sit around with their mouths shut? I'm glad they have opinions. I rely on them. Keep going"

Of course they have opinions but the Captain has an office for listening to opinions! His orders are not to be questioned on the Bridge in front of the crew!

"And in the area of security I sometimes think you could show a little more caution, sir" well, this was something I had already told him many times.

"I'm aware of your concerns in that area" he answered me and I could tell he was smiling.

"Not to say that it hasn't been a privilege to have served with you" I pointed out. The Captain has his flaws but he also has countless qualities. He scolded me for talking in the past tense but I was beginning to ask myself whether I would've come out alive from the hull.

Soon T'Pol called to inform us that we were clear of the minefield and we went on with our work, starting to defuse a back-up arming mechanism. Again, I hope that the Captain would've quit the chat but he didn't.

"You must have realized this wasn't going to be your typical armory posting. That my command style lacked a certain spit and polish"

"It was obvious, if you don't mind me saying so"

"Strange"

"What's strange, sir?"

"I understand you came from a long line of Royal Navy men. Your father, your grandfather. Why pick Starfleet? Why not continue the family tradition?" Just the kind of bloody question I wanted to answer, wasn't it?

"God knows I tried" I answered softly. As much as it pained me to speak about that matter, I couldn't lie to the Captain.

"What happened?"

I tried to avoid the question by asking for a circuit probe but it didn't work.

"I was raised on the water. I knew how to handle a boat before I could ride a bicycle. Studied all the great naval battles. I don't know. I suppose I thought I'd just grow out of it." I said quietly.

"Grow out of what?"

"Aquaphobia" I muttered, glad that the helmet was covering my blush. I have to say that the Captain took it very well, without even showing surprise.

"So instead of a life on the sea you chose a life in the vacuum of space?"

I told him about my great uncle – the one with aquaphobia who joined the Navy nonetheless.

"He signed up with the submarine service" I explained.

"Talk about facing your deepest fears"

"He was a brave man. Wasn't long before he'd worked his way up through the ranks. Made chief engineer on the HMS Clement"

He didn't know about the Clement but he immediately asked me to tell him about it.

"They were on a routine patrol when they had an accident. Now, there's a beautiful irony for you. They hit a mine left over from some world war. There they were, trapped underneath an ice shelf, several compartments flooding, including Engineering. Can you imagine? My great-uncle, the man afraid of drowning? The ship was sinking, losing power. According to his lieutenant, my great-uncle sealed himself in the engine room and kept the reactor online long enough for his crew to make it to the escape pods. He went down with his ship. He did what he had to do to save his crewmates"

I've always felt very small and coward and undeserving in comparison with my great-uncle. He did what I had been too weak to do and faced his very fears. But I'm not so coward that I put myself behind the ship, my crew and my Captain.

"I appreciate what you're trying to tell me, Malcolm, but I was hoping you'd be able to save your heroics for another time"

"I just want you to know, sir, that I am prepared" I said. I certainly didn't want to endanger the ship.

"Got you" he answered curtly. Of course, he hadn't even thought about the possibility of sacrificing me.

"If we're not able to defuse this mine, the safety of the crew…" I insisted but he stopped me harshly:

"I said I heard you, Lieutenant".

To make things even better, my bladder was threatening to explode. I haven't had the time for the toilet before getting to the Bridge because of the bloody breakfast. The Captain even suggested me to release in my EV suit but I preferred not to follow his advice since the Romulans went back. And now there were two ships, not just one.

"They're demanding that we jettison the section of hull plating and leave" T'Pol informed us after some time. _Of course_.

"They scanned us, Captain. They know we're ready to detach it" Trip's voice added.

We were just defusing the last circuit when the mine rearmed; it seems that final circuit triggered a sub-detonator. In order to get to it we should've dismantled the whole mine – not a pursuable option with the Romulans "asking" us to go away. Now we were definitely in trouble.

I was afraid. I didn't want to die. But at the moment there weren't other options and my first duty was to provide security for my ship and crew – and I was going to do it, no matter what.

"Those heroics we spoke about. I think it may be time. You've done all you can, sir. For what it's worth, you'd make a fine Armoury Officer" I said quietly.

"Show me that sub-detonator" the Captain ordered. Damn man.

"I'd prefer a burial at sea, if I'm not completely vaporized" I went on. I was not going to let my ship explode.

"I thought you were afraid of the water. Your scanner, Lieutenant"

"I told you, sir. There's nothing we can do"

"We'll dismantle this thing piece by piece if we have to" he said defiantly, and for the umpteenth time I thought he really didn't know what he was doing.

"That'll take days" I observed.

"My schedule's open" he retorted.

"And these Romulans? They don't seem like the patient types. The longer we stay in this system, the more likely they're going to attack. As much as I appreciate all your efforts, you have to detach the hull plating. It's the only option" I knew even as I said it that the Captain wouldn't have listened to me. With that spike through my leg I couldn't certainly do much. I couldn't even threaten to shoot him with the phase pistol I didn't even have in the EV suit as I had done with Trip. I was helpless.

"I'm not about to leave one of my crew behind" he said. I wanted to shout at him, with his behaviour he was going to leave all of his crew behind because we would all have died for _nothing_!

"You're putting Enterprise at risk" I answered, exasperated.

"We're wasting time. Help me figure out a way to get you off of here. That's an order".

The Captain wasn't going to let me die, I knew. He was too determined to look after every single member of the crew. So I decided to spare him this decision by doing the only thing I could think of: disconnecting my air hose.

The Captain reacted quickly and connected his air supply to mine, which was almost finished.

"If I were the kind of captain you think I should be I'd bust your ass back to crewman" he all but yelled.

"Begging your pardon, sir, but if you were that kind of captain we wouldn't be having this conversation. You'd have cut me loose by now"

"I'm not going to do that, Malcolm" he said definitely. I appreciated his desire to save me, really – but the idea that the crew I was supposed to protect was going to die just because of me was almost killing me.

Luckily, the Captain had an idea. He observed that some time –about twenty seconds in his opinion- had gone by between the mine's triggering and its rearming and he proposed to cut the circuits in my leg and then to back away before the mine exploded. This was a good idea – I could get rid of the mine without killing myself.

"I will need something to protect myself, sir. I will still be too next to the mine". The mine's power was about a quarter of a kiloton in my opinion and I thought that a shuttlepod hatch could do. Anyway, the Captain told me he was going to ask Trip about that.

"It's obvious that I'm coming with you, Malcolm"

If he hadn't just saved my life I would've yelled at the man, Captain or not.

"Sir, I advise you against…"

"I'm sure you know that it's pointless to argue with me about this matter, Lieutenant. I'm coming with you." He repeated. I sighed, defeated.

Trip set the section of hull plating free and soon the Captain, the mine and I were floating in space. He cut quickly the spike and we pushed off as soon as we could, protected by the shuttlepod hatches. A few seconds later the explosion violently pushed me backwards and for a moment I thought the hatch was simply going to break. But then the explosion subsided, I was alive and the Enterprise was still there. Travis had us back in launch bay two and we immediately went to warp – it seems to me the Romulans were about to kill us all.

"Are you all right?" the Captain asked me. My leg was beginning to hurt again but I thought it could've been worse.

"All things considered. If I may say so, sir, your style of command does have its advantages" I answered. The Captain has been reckless, as always. But without his defiance I would be dead by now.

Soon Trip, T'Pol and Dr. Phlox arrived. Trip, despite his smile, seemed quite shocked and I felt he had been very worried for me. The Doctor told me there was no fracture, gave me something for the pain and sent me back to my quarters.

"Off duty for at least two weeks, Lieutenant. And you shall rest in bed, otherwise I will regretfully have to move you in Sickbay" his voice was cheerful but I know it's never a good idea to cross his path. I suppose I have to look at the bright side: until I am confined to my quarters I won't be able to have breakfast with the Captain.

A hour ago Trip went to visit me.

Upon seeing him I began to stand.

"For God's sake, Mal! Do you have to stay at attention even when you can't stand on your damn leg?!" he asked, exasperated.

"Haven't you brought pineapple ice-cream this time?" I asked with a smirk.

"It seems we have grown spoiled, haven't we?" he answered with a grin.

"The Captain told me you wanted him to let you go" he added more seriously "and that you even disconnected your air hose".

"Yes."

He looked at me, speechless.

"Malcolm, sometimes you're so selfless and brave and cold-blooded that you get almost _scary_".

Selfless, yes. Brave and cold-blooded, no; they're not exactly the terms I would use to describe myself.

"I didn't think we had other options" I murmured. It was nothing heroic, really.

"We're all glad that you haven't been roasted by the mine, you know" Trip said with a smile.

I smiled back: "I know".

"Later I can go to the mess hall and pick up dinner for both of us if you wish" he proposed "I mean, if you haven't gotten used to eat with the Captain!" he concluded with a broad grin.

"Go to hell, _Commander_" I muttered.

Well, I don't know if this has been a good day. I showed to the Captain some things of myself I'm still not sure I wanted him to know. I won't be able to work for two weeks – this doesn't mean I'm not allowed to fuss from my quarters. But at least I'm alive, and my crew with me.

Now I'm waiting for Trip.


End file.
